My 1000 Beer Year

The 1000th Beer: Wherein I Drink My 1000th Beer

2010-12-22T18:14:00.001-05:00

I want to start this post off by saying that I am horrible, just absolutely horrible with remembering names. I mean seriously, I am awful at it. People, movies, beers, you name it (pun!): I have a hard time remembering names across the board. I say this because I am going to mention some people by name in this post. Some people, I know their names because they're either my dad, my wife, or my friends. Others, I know their names because they signed it for me (we'll get there) or someone handed me a piece of paper with the name written on it so I could make sure I remembered it. I say all this for one reason: the woman that kick started this whole shocking party, the woman that played an absolutely central role in all of this, and whose contributions I both vividly remember and wildly appreciate, well, I can't for the life of me remember her name and I have been feeling seriously bad about since I got home that evening. Also, there are some pictures of me in here. I'm the guy with the striped sweater that you'll see drinking a beer. It's the second to last post here and I just don't care anymore. With that said, let's get back to the story, already in progress.

So Liz sees the note on the chalkboard pictured in the previous post. I see it and think, "Awesome! How'd they know I would be here?" I later deduced that I had been tagging the Gate in all of my twitter posts about the event, so they must have seen it there. Anyway, I figure, awesome, some local recognition! When I go up to order my thousandth beer, I'll let them know, hey that's me, they'll say awesome and that'll be that. Well, next thing I know (this is still around 4:45ish), the woman whose name I now forget (again sorry!) goes and changes the chalkboard. I think she's updating the draft list, but instead I see she puts up an even BIGGER welcome notice, pictured above and to the right. After I see that, I go up and introduce myself as the 1000 Beer Year Guy. We chat for a few a minute or two, talking about the past year and all that, then she goes back over to the bar and I think, "Man, that was super nice of her to put that up there," and again think that will be just about all the fanfare associated with the event.

Around 4:45, my friend Mike shows up with his dog and a super awesome sign he made for me to commemorate the event. That's the sign to the left there, as modeled in my apartment. It was displayed prominently (and awesomely) that evening on a mantle in the Gate, book-shelfed by two candles placed there by the woman from the Gate, giving it a cool, important atmosphere, but you couldn't really read the lettering in any of the photos I have from the night. So there it is! Additionally, Mike thought it would be cool if everyone who came out for the evening signed the back of it (hence where I'm pulling some names from), which was a great idea! Thanks Mike! After the sign goes up on the mantle, I see the woman from the Gate (we'll just go with TWFTG for now, sorry!) talking to Pat Fondlier (whose name is signed on the board, hence why I remember it). I've seen Pat at the Gate a bunch of times, and his beard is the stuff of legends, but I've never actually met him before. He's the "beermeister," as the above linked article describes him, at the Gate and he also works for Smuttynose which is pretty awesome. If you've ever been to the Gate, you'll instantly recognize him in the photos below.

Anyway, he comes over and starts talking to me about the whole 1000 beer year project. Apparently he's read this here blog before, which just about floored me on account of I didn't think anyone but my parents and in-laws actually kept track of this thing, much less actual beer industry people. We're also talking about why I chose the Gate as the location of my 1000th beer, so here seems like an appropriate place to talk about that. The Gate may be the best bar in all of New York City. Not only do they have one of the best tap selections in all of New York, but they also have the best atmosphere in all of New York. It's kind of weird, I've always thought of the Gate as sort of a destination bar, because the tap selection really is amazing and it's not really in my neighborhood, but it really does have the quintessential "neighborhood bar" feel to it. Imagine that your neighborhood was filled with really great people that all loved really great beer but weren't in any sense snobby about it. Well, this is the bar that would be in your neighborhood. Also, another huge plus is that it has a ton of space. I've never been there and not gotten a seat. The Gate is already my favorite bar in the city, but add to that that I wanted a bar with enough space to sit around and talk with my family and friends, and, well, the Gate just had the perfect combination of ingredients. Also, everyone working there seemed legitimately excited/honored that I'd chose their bar. I mean this place has some of the biggest beer events in New York and they were excited that some dood with a seldom-read blog was having a beer there. Amazing. Also, and I wasn't aware of this before that evening, but the Gate is the type of place where apparently nights like the one I had there can happen, which is always, always a plus.

So we take some pictures in front of the sign (way more picture taking than I anticipated took place! Also, here's where I'd like to thank Dennis Flynn from Stone Brewing for sending me pics he took that evening, including the one up there. And yes, that served two purposes. 1) To legitimately thank Dennis, and 2) To drop that someone from Stone Brewing was at my 1000th beer. Sue me. I was excited!) and Pat says he wants to buy my 1000th beer for me and asks what I was thinking of getting. At this point in time I was down to two options: 1) A 50 oz magnum of 2005 Anchor Christmas Ale or 2) A pint of Wells Bombadier Cask Ale, one of only two casks of that beer in the US, both rare and perfectly worthy beers for the occasion. Pat says go with the Anchor Christmas Ale, which I was already leaning towards because 1) I could share some with Liz and my dad and that would be nice and 2) It would take a while to drink so people that showed up late could still partake in me drinking the 1000th beer. So Pat goes over to get the magnum (pictured left) and then TWFTG (again, sorry! When I'm back at the Gate next time, I'm getting your name, immediately tattooing it on my arm so I don't forget it in transit to my apartment, and going back and putting it in this post), tells me that the owner of the Gate, Bobby Gagnon (I had Pat write his name down for me so I wouldn't forget it, as I am wont to do), told her a few days ago that, while he couldn't make it, he wanted to personally buy my 1000th beer for me. They were selling that magnum for $35, which would have easily been the most I ever spent on a beer, and Bobby Gagnon buys it for me. Amazing. Seriously amazing. I'll say it again later, but I'll say it here now, thank you, and I mean thank you Bobby Gagnon and the Gate for seriously hooking me up.

So now its 4:55ish, a few others have shown up, more are coming soon. I've got a note written on the draft list, a giant plaque displayed on a mantle, and a 50 oz magnum of Anchor Christmas Ale which has been cellared from 2005, courtesy of the Gate, waiting for me at the bar. If you've ever seen a happier man in your life, well, that man must've been pretty damned happy. I'm waiting till 5:10ish to open that thing, another test of will power, just to make sure everyone who wanted to be there for the 1000th will be there. At 5:10, the crowd is as follows: my dad, Liz, Mike, Amy, Brian, Dave, Emily, Eric K, Ben, Ali, Larry, Pat, Dennis, and TWFTG, which is about 10 more people than I had anticipated being there. So, with a crowd (partially pictured above) assembled, I'm ready to do this thing. I'm going to break it down in slow-mo for you here.

First, Pat comes and opens the magnum 2005 Anchor Christmas Ale.

Then, he pours it in to the mug Liz had made for me for the occasion (it has My 1000 Beer Year 2010 engraved on it, but you can't really see that in the pictures. But the mug is awesome. Thanks Liz!) and into a few glasses they brought over for others (my dad and Liz each drank a glass, the other two? You know it was this guy.)

I make a short speech (not pictured, and largely incoherent. I'll make a longer and more coherent one both in this post and the wrap-up one). After the speech, well, there's nothing left to do but drink my 1000th beer!

I take my first gulp and get a nice round of applause from the people in our group. After that, TWFTG makes an announcement to the whole bar, explaining to them what's going on over there, and I get another round of applause from the whole bar which was pretty cool! The 2005 Anchor Christmas Ale was delicious. As anticipated, it took a little while to drink, but not that long, as by that time, all milestones aside, I was pretty thirsty for a beer. While I'm drinking, a whole host of other people show up including Jessica, Crystal, Eric H, Sam, Christina, Lisa, and Kate. Check out the plaque with all their signatures!

After about an hour (okay, a little under an hour, in case you haven't noticed, I like drinking beer), I announce my last gulp, receive a nice "here! here!" and proceed to finish off the magnum. I did it. I drank 1000 beers. I know it sounds like a really dumb thing to feel really accomplished about, but I did it, and it felt great (I'll get more in to that in my actual final post). But yeah, that's the story of my 1000th beer.

To recap, let's compare what I thought the evening was going to be like with what it turned out to be.

What I thought it would be: Me, my dad (and even he was late game addition), Liz, maybe three friends, sitting at a table, me dropping $35 on a beer, quietly drinking it with the few people at my table, patting myself on the back, and absolutely zero fanfare.

What it turned out to be: A party with over 20 people, an amazing beer and unexpected fanfare courtesy of the Gate and Bobby Gagnon, and really, one of the more surprisingly and, frankly, touching nights of my life. I was always a little nervous about the night of the 1000th. It seemed like it would be one of those New Years Eve/St. Paddy's Day types of deals where because it's supposed to be a big party and a ton of fun, the hype always ends up making the actual party disappointing. I didn't want to hype up the 1000th all that much because I didn't want it fall under the weight of expectations. Well let me say, the night exceeded even my highest of expectations. I seriously did not expect anything like that.

There are a million thanks to dole out here (Side note, this list of thanks is specifically directed at the people who made the evening. A more comprehensive list of thanks for the year is coming in the next post, so don't feel left out!) First, I need to thank Liz, because she was the one who kept on getting on my case about actually setting something up. Also, thanks to Liz for just about everything else you'd thank a wife for after spending a year drinking 1000 beers. Second, I need to thank my dad who flew all the way out from Arizona to be there for the 1000th. He literally flew in at midnight the night before and left the very next morning, all for the culmination of an enterprise that he has supposedly been against all year, and that, as you can imagine, meant a whole lot to me. Check out the two of us sharing in the 1000th (the glass he's holding has some of the Anchor Christmas ale in there)!

I want to thank all my friends that trekked out in the cold for this event. I know that most of you still had school and work stuff that you were in the middle of, and that it wasn't in the most convenient location for a lot of you, but I really appreciate you all coming out and making the party what it was. It really meant a lot to me. As my dad noted the next morning, I've got a really great group of friends, Check out a few of you (sorry to those not pictured, I've literally put every pic I have of the evening up here, if you have a pic of you at the event, send it my way and it'll go up here!) with the sign for what's next on my thank-list!

And of course I need to thank everyone at the Gate. What I expected was an awesome bar at which to quietly enjoy my 1000th beer. What I got was more than I could have ever imagined. Not only were you guys amazing hosts for the evening, but you also had the perfect 1000th beer on hand. Seriously, I can't say enough nice things about how much fun I had there and how much I appreciate everything you guys did for me.

And that's the epic (to me, at least) tale of my thousandth beer. I've got one more year-wrap-up post in me, but it's not going to go up until after New Years. We'll let this one digest a little and that'll give me time to make sure my final post is exactly what I want it to be. But even though this isn't my last post, I'm still a little bummed, as that's the last time I'll be describing drinking a specific beer in 2010. The beer descriptions never got any better (as is evident from my sole description of my 1000th beer being "delicious"), but I've always enjoyed writing about specific beer drinking experiences, whether it be having a cold one on my couch or at a party with friends and family. And with that sobfest out of the way, won't you all please raise a glass with me while you read the final instantiation of the ol' two-words-colon-number combination.

Total Beers: 1000

The 1000th Beer: The Beginning

2010-12-20T16:03:00.003-05:00

I should have named the last post "The Penultimate Penultimate Penultimate Post," or something like that, because you're getting a few more posts. I originally intended to have the tale of my final beer and my wrap-up post being the same beer. Then again, I didn't think there would be much of a tale to tell. I originally thought that my 1000th beer would spent at a table at a bar with Liz, my dad, and maybe a few friends. I thought I'd have the beer, pat myself on the back, and then just hang out like any other evening. No big deal. Welp, it turned out to be a kind of a big deal. Before I get to the tale of the 1000th, and clue you into what that beer was (though you Twitter followers already know the answer [I thought I'd clue them in given that twitter played an intricate role in the evening]), I'll let you in on the beers that preceded the epic 1000th. When we last left off, I was at 994.

As foretold in the last post, I spent Friday afternoon cleaning and drinking a 25 oz Long Trail Imperial Porter (995). That was my sole beer for that day. Saturday morning I woke up and drank a Bethlehem Brew Works Rude Elf Reserve (996) while making breakfast for the in-laws, because what else am I going to drink while making breakfast? The in-laws came, we had a nice Manhattan/Christmas-y day, and I drank a Harpoon Winter Warmer (997) with dinner. In-laws left and I drank a Weyerbacher Merry Monks (998) while waiting for my dad to arrive in from Arizona. My dad got in to my apartment around 12:30 in the morning and we split a 25 oz bottle of Dogfish Head's Miles Davis Bitches Brew (999). It was delicious.

Jesus had his 40 days in the desert. I had my Sunday, December 19th 2010. Normally, not drinking a beer till 5 PM would be no big deal. I mean that's all I had to do. Just don't drink a beer till 5. My dad and I wanted to watch the Cardinals/Panthers game, so we headed on over to Half Court at 1 to watch the game. I don't know if you've ever gone to a sports bar and NOT bought a beer, but man, let me tell you, it's tough. So halfway through the 2nd, my dad wants to get lunch. He asks if there's any good sandwich places to eat at. Of course there is. And of course it's Bierkraft. So we go to Bierkraft for lunch and I can't get a beer there. Difficulty level of going to Bierkraft and not getting a beer > difficulty leve of going to a sports bar and not getting a beer. So we eat our sandwiches and then head over to another sports bar to finish watching the game. Still can't get a beer. Finally, FINALLY, the game ends around 4 and we decide to head over to the Gate to secure ourselves a table for the two or three people I expect to show to this thing. You know what's EXTREMELY difficult to do? Sit at the Gate for an hour while your dad and your wife each drink a 21st Amendment Fireside Chat while your wife goes on and on about how it's much better on draft than from a can and not be able to taste it or buy a beer.

I want to first state that I did not call the Gate and tell them about drinking my 1000th beer there on that date. I didn't drop in, didn't e-mail them, didn't message them on facebook, or do anything else to let them know about this event. So we're sitting at the Gate, just me, my dad, and Liz, killing some time before 5 when I seriously expect maybe two or three people to show up, when Liz looks up at the chalkboard with the draft listings and sees this....

To be EPICALLY continued.....

The Penultimate Post

2010-12-17T11:48:00.001-05:00

This is the last post before the post describing my 1000th beer. It's weird how conscious I am of every beer now. Starting this is endeavor, the 1000th beer seemed almost impossibly far away. Prior to even, say, beer 700, every beer I drank seemed like Don Quixote taking another swing at the windmills. You slay the mighty 1000 Beer Year by drinking one beer at a time, but I was fully expecting to find out the goal just couldn't be accomplished. I'd get sick of drinking. I'd just flat out get sick. I'd run out of money. I'd find that it was effecting my studies too much. I'd find that it was effecting my health too much. I'd find it that it was effecting my job hunt too much. I'd find that it was effecting my life too much.

But the thing is, I never found out any of those things. Drinking beer remained fun. And, surprisingly enough, writing about drinking beer remained fun. One of the unexpected parts about this year was finding that it was sometimes difficult to post. When I started this thing, I figured that of course I would have at least 15 minutes a day to sit down and write something unique and entertaining about my previous day's drinking. I thought I would have 365 discrete things to say about the life of a beer drinker, each one more insightful and funny than the last. Well, as you probably noticed, that turned out not to be the case. I feel like this thing has had its moments. To the day I die, I'll still believe that the moral compass line in the BrewDog post was the best thing single sentence I'll have ever written in my life. The sentence I just wrote might stand amongst the worst. So what's so hard about writing amusing musings* every night? Well, at least 65% of my beer drinking took place while hanging out at night on the couch with my wife. You know what I like to do while drinking beer and hanging out on the couch with my wife? Nothing. Here's a real life conversation I had with someone in the past year. This is exactly how the conversation went down, and I know you might not believe that based on how absolute douche-tastic this is going to sound, but seriously, this happened.

[setting: a party at a family friend's place. a handful of us are about to play Scene It: Seinfeld]
Person: I've never seen Seinfeld.
Me: You've ever seen Seinfeld?
Person: Ummmmm, I'm too busy living my life in New York City to watch a show about people living in New York City.

And scene.

I hate to invoke that type of sentiment, but often I found I was too "busy" drinking beers on the couch with my wife to write about drinking beers on the couch with my wife. Add to that the fact that I never got any better at actually describing beers, and sometimes writing would be a bit of a chore.** But on I wrote!

Back to being conscious of every beer. I went out to lunch with some friends after my last final yesterday. We went to the Heartland Brewery in Union Square. I had myself a Smiling Pumpkin Ale. It was pretty good. But then I thought, do I really want this to stand as one of my last 10 beers? This is rarified air for a beer to be in (in which to be [that still doesn't seem correct]). And normally I would get a second beer, because, you know, why not? But I couldn't! I had to think, "I have three days left of beer drinking and only 8 (now 7) beers I can drink! Ration man, ration!" And then I realized that every subsequent beer I would drink between then and the 1000th would likely take place on my couch. Well, not wanting to spoil my last 6 or so beers on the dregs of a Park Slope Coop mix pack, I hit the Whole Foods beer store and got some supplies. I picked up a Lagunitas Little Sumpin' Wild and an Avery The Reverend Belgian Quad, both of which I drank last night. I also picked up a Long Trail Imperial Porter, which I'll probably drink today while cleaning my apartment, and a Dogfish Head Bitches Brew which I'll split with my dad when he gets in on Saturday night for the ol' 999th beer.

I'm pretty excited about the 1000th beer. Not to get into it too much here (as my 1000th beer post is going to be the one that I finally talk about why I did this whole thing), but that'll be the 1000th time this year that I did something that I really like to do. Can you think of 1000th things you did this year that you really enjoyed? I can! And with friends and family coming out, well, that'll just be the icing on the cake. I did the index for the book Beer and Philosophy. In there is an article that I thought was pretty stupid at the time about Beer and Friendship which talks about the special bond you have with a person while going out for a beer together. In my headier, analytic days, I thought the whole article was filled with too much continentally-I-can't-describe-it-but-I-know-it-when-I-see-it-or-feel-it type of gobbledegook.*** But now? Now I sort of get it. It forces you to communicate in an immediate and intimate way that other activities just can't. Even going out for a meal with friends, you still have the breaks while you're actually eating. When you get a beer with someone, it seems like you have to mean it. And I've been extremely privileged to share a lot of beers with a lot of people this year. Sunday, you should all come down to the Gate at 5 o'clock. Because I sure would like to have one more beer with all of you before this year is through.

Total Beers: 994
Countdown: 6

*If I ever get a "color column" in a local, small town newspaper, I'm going to name it that and write under the name Hank Higglesworth.
**Here's a question, what's less interesting than writers writing about writing? If you answered "Nothing. Literally nothing is less interesting than writers writing about writing. And aren't you being a pretentious ass calling yourself a writer? And isn't this blog supposed to be about beer drinking? Why aren't you writing about beer drinking?" Well, you're probably correct!
***And you thought I would go the whole year without using that word. You owe me ten bucks, Mr. Higglesworth!

Motorcycle Made of Fire Named the Flamemobile

2010-12-15T19:26:00.000-05:00

NO TIME! Last night I had a Trader Joe's 2010 Vintage Ale. It's ok. It tasted "new," as it were. Liz liked it, but she's sick so what does she know? I also drank a Sam Smith India Ale and a Moa Lager (the non-dark variety!). It had a weird, foamy texture! See you tomorrow with a real post!

Total Beers: 991
Countdown: 9!!!!!!!!!!

The Dirty Dozen

2010-12-14T19:54:00.000-05:00

This is getting real. By the end of tonight, I will hopefully be in single digits. While the drinking part has gotten easier, the finding time to post is uh, still a tad difficult. The problem is that literally every minute of every day from now until I drink my 1000th beer is booked. Seriously. Check this out (I'll start with tomorrow):

Wednesday
8:00-12:45 - Breakfast/study/interview prep
12:45-1:45 - Interview
1:45 - 10 - Study/dinner

Thursday
9:00 - 1:00 - Final
1:00 - Bed time - Eating/grocery shopping/cleaning

Friday
Waking up - 7:00 - Cooking/prepping apartment for the in-laws' visit
7:00 - bedtime - Liz's school's Christmas party

Saturday
Waking up - Going to sleep - Brunch with in-laws/Pee Wee Herman on Broadway/Dinner with inlaws/Christmas stuff with in-laws

Sunday
5:00 - 1000th beer!!!!!!

So there you go. There's no time. There's never any time! For instance, right now? I really need to be studying. I don't say that in a "I'm a neurotic studier" way. I say that in a "I have a final Thursday I haven't started studying for yet" way.

None of that had anything to do with beer. Let's talk about beer, shall we? Now that I'm in the final stretch, I'm trying to make every beer count (uhhhhhhh, pun?). Gone are the Simpler Times (although tonight I think I'm going to drink TJ's bottle conditioned holiday ale). On Sunday I limited myself to one beer, on account of having an 8 AM final. That beer? Probably my favorite of all time (at least top 3 that's for sure): Ommegang's Three Philosophers. When two of those showed up in the Park Slope Coop Mix Pack, well, I was just about as happy as a clam. Monday I had two Goose Island IPAs at Reservoir following a final. Later that night I had a Duchesse de Bourgognes. Well that's enough beer talk! I'll remind you all about the 1000th beer, still happening this Sunday at 5 at the Gate in Park Slope on 5th Ave at 3rd Street! Tomorrow you'll get a pretty lame-o update about tonight, but Thursday/Friday will be epic, epic I tells you!

Total Beers: 988
Countdown: 12 (ok, the video at the beginning is a bit premature, but the whole point is this is countdown time. Also, that song isn't racist in the context of the musical, soooooo..........)

EDITORS UPDATE. MY DAD MAY BE COMING TO THE 1000TH BEER. BRACE YOURSELVES.

Beer Regrets

2010-12-12T11:40:00.000-05:00

Much like John Adams on his death bed, as I approach the end of this year, I find myself looking back at what I've accomplished and what I wish I would have done. Not that I'm filled with remorse or anything, but I do have a few beer regrets. To be clear, these aren't regrets for things I've done after drinking. These are regrets over what I should have drank, where I should have drank, etc. For example, I regret not compiling a spreadsheet from day one of every beer I drank and where I drank. It'd be nice for analysis purposes now, like a spreadsheet could tell me what percentage of the beers I drank were, say, Brooklyn Lagers. I tried to put together a comprehensive list a few weeks ago, but it was taking forever so I quit after logging like 50 beers. That will be a task for an intern at the publishing company that inevitably releases my best selling book I suppose. What got me thinking about my beer regrets is that Draft Magazine just arrived and it has their list of the 25 Best Beers of 2010. I was glad to see beers like 21st Amendment's Monks Blood and Brooklyn's Sarachi Ace on their. But what stood out for me was the inclusion of Short's Brewing Key Lime Pie. Let me take you back to Michigan for a second. While in Alpena, Liz and I went on a beer run with my dad. We found a beer store with a TON of Michigan microbrews. The stipulation was that we could only get one six pack, lest my grandparents think we were total drunks (a weird stipulation, but it was what it was). After narrowing down the beers to Michigan microbreweries that I couldn't get in New York, I decided to get a Short's Brewing beer. They had a ton of different things, from weird fruit beers to classic pale ales. Seeing as how my family would be drinking this beer, I decided to go for a standard. I grabbed the Pandemonium Pale Ale. If you recall, this was the beer that was perpetually foamy and just not all that good. You know what was sitting next to the Pandemonium Pale Ale? The Key Lime Pie, one of Draft Magazine's Best Beers of 2010. I had to make a choice, and I chose incorrectly. Beer regrets. This is sort of like when I go to a beer bar with a ton of different things on tap. Do I get something I've already had that I know I like? Do I try something new? What if I get something new that's not that great when there are other beers that I haven't had that would be better? It can get paralyzing at times.

Well, there's my daily dose of producticrastinating. As to the beers for the past two days: Friday I drank a Redbridge Gluten-Free Beer (still gross) and an Avery Brown Ale (still good). Saturday was an excellent beer day in terms of both quality of beers and also quantity. I had a Sam Smith Taddy Porter, 2 Duchesse de Bourgognes, a Two Brothers IPA and a Golden Pheasant Pilsner (okay that last beer wasn't so great).

Total Beers: 984
Countdown: 16. All right. Here we go.

Blinding You With Science

2010-12-10T10:54:00.001-05:00

It's finals time, which means I'm doing just about everything but study. I get pretty good at doing productive-ish things that aren't exactly what I need to be doing. For instance, I've got to eat dinner right? So why wouldn't I make an elaborate meal that takes two hours of prep time? I'm not procrastinating, I'm making dinner! I've got to work out right? So why not spend an extra hour doing the most non-intensive yoga possible? I can't neglect my health just because it's finals time! And in this vein of doing things I "need" to be doing, you're getting two posts, two days in a row, something last seen I think in 2007.

In the past, say, two years or so, I've been growing increasingly angry at myself for not getting an undergrad degree in science. Nevermind that I'm terrible at science, that I withdrew from THREE separate intro-to-different-sciences courses in college, and that I'm 80% sure that I have the fine motor skills of a toddler, making lab work pretty impossible for me. If I had a science degree, the world would be my oyster. It's literally the best thing you can have in the legal world. You can do all the law nonsense that us liberal arts majors can do, PLUS EVERYTHING ELSE. Oh yeah, you know who's still hiring in these dire times? Patent/bio law firms because like three people on earth can do that stuff, the three people who had the foresight to major in some science before going to law school. You know what else you can do with a science degree? EVERYTHING ELSE ON EARTH.

Why this rant right now and what does it have to do with beer? Well I was watching the excellent show Brew Masters last night, which chronicles the comings and goings of the Dogfish Head Brewery, and I noticed that everything everyone was doing on that show was science related. Their yeast expert? I looked her up. She's younger than me and she has one of the dopest jobs on earth. How'd she get it? Well, she majored in a science in undergrad, applied for the job and got it!!!! All of Dogfish Head's brewers? Science majors. So my ultimate plan in life is to work a crappy legal job that pays the bills and then quit to do something awesome like start a brewery.* You know what would make both the getting a job and starting a brewery parts infinitely easier? A science degree.

Both of my parents are engineers, which is another major that is science-y and super practical. Like all good modern parents, they instilled in me a belief that I could be anything I want to be/do anything I set my mind to.** I didn't have to be an engineer. I want to go into liberal arts? Go for it! There are plenty of useful things I can do with a poly sci/philosophy degree! Well hopefully when I have kids, I can instill in them the same attitude. You don't have to be a student till you're 27! You don't have to get two worthless undergrad degrees and a somehow more worthless grad degree! You can study things that will make you a contributing member of society! But of course macrobrew will still be strictly verboten. Another thing I wonder about in Brew Masters is this: Sam Calagione's kids have to be trying some of that beer, right? Unfortunately the Discovery Channel can't show/broach one of the more interesting subjects about the life of a brewer: the brewer's attitude regarding his product and his kids. I'm sure he's not getting his kids wasted, but there's got to be some kind of healthy balance between "Don't touch this stuff till you turn 21" and "Go nuts, kids!" I'd imagine an artisan cheese maker's kids would know a whole ton about cheese. Why wouldn't a brewer's kids know a ton about beer? I don't care about erecting a retired Burning Man fort on your brewery's grounds! Answer these questions, Brew Masters!

And so we get to the beers I drank last night. It actually was a fair amount, because 1) the studying during the day went well, 2) Sunday is a one-or-none beer evening and 3) I could! I had an Erdinger Weizen, whose bottle notes that it is "Crystal Clear." I was hoping it would be like Crystal Pepsi and actually be clear, but unfortunately it was just a piss-yellow beer flavored beer. Followed that up with a Stone Pale Ale, an Otter Creek Stovepipe Porter, and 2 Fuller's Extra Special ESBs. So there's that! In the grand scheme of producticrastinating (which is my new term for doing things like this), I'm sure you'll be hearing from me tomorrow!

Total Beers: 977
Count Down: 23 (I realize putting this number here is pretty stupid, but being but a liberal arts major, I don't have any real conception of what does and doesn't constitute a good idea)

*Note to potential employers, I'm not talking about quitting your job, which is surely great. I'm talking about quitting that other one, you know, the one that sucks, which again, is not your job, which I'm super jazzed about.
**Like drink 1000 beers in a year and end a sentence with a preposition! Thanks folks!

Huzzah!

2010-12-09T15:52:00.000-05:00

I'm on the mend! I suffered (that's a weird word to use in this context) a miraculous comeback after posting yesterday! While I still have very little voice, my brain/body capacity is operating at close to 100% meaning I was able to have beers last night!

I mean, was able to sensibly drink some beers! I had a Brooklyn EIPA (sweeter than I remember!), a Two Brothers IPA (IPA night I guess) and a Geary's Hampshire Special Ale (pretty good!). So I guess all that freaking out yesterday was for naught! And my studying is going well, so that means more beer (sensible) beer drinking tonight!

Total Beers: 972
How Many I Have To Drink For You Non-Math Wizards: 28

The Worst!

2010-12-08T12:44:00.001-05:00

Man, I do not need this. Seriously. I was talking to Liz a few nights ago about how for the first time all year, the beer drinking has seemed a little like work. I mean obviously this is all relative, because beer drinking is never actually work, but with my school/work/job application stuff in full swing, finding time for three beers a day gets a little tricky. And now? I'm sick!!!! This is total and utter BS. So far the cold has forced me to have a completely beer-free night (Monday) and a one beer night (a Cooper's Lager) last night (Tuesday). If you recall, I have to drink about 3.1 beers a day to keep on my December 19th goal. One beer over two days just ain't gonna cut it. The worst part is that I'm still a little sick here. I may take another full night off here just to get myself 100% healthy. I can't be sick next week because I have finals. I can't be sick now because I need to work on the numbers. Everything about this is just the worst! Also, I've already committed to the December 19th date, so there's no going back from that. I have a feeling that the days leading up to that are going to be rife with beer drinking. Anyway, here's the beer drinking I have done since we last chatted:

Saturday: Had a Troeg's Java Head Stout in the afternoon. Later that night we had a party at our place where I had a Redbridge Gluten-free Beer (pretty gross, I thought about not counting it but it did say beer on there and there was some alcohol in it), a Roscoe's Hop House Pale Ale, and 3 cans of Schafer's. Liz will tell you all about Schafer's later.

Sunday: Young's Double Chocolate Stout, Brooklyn Pennant, and a Golden Pheasant Pilsner (side note, I'm pretty sure the Golden Pheasant gave me a cold. I felt 100% prior to drinking it, and then 3 hours later I woke up in the middle of the night and felt like I was swallowing razors. Damn you Slovakia!)

Monday: Again, nothing.

Last night: One lonely (and kinda gross) Cooper's Lager.

Total Beers: 969

31 beers to drink and 11 days to do it in. Even if I skip today, I think I should still be able to do this. Again, next Thursday through Sunday should be pretty intense.

I Have a Great Wife

2010-12-04T11:43:00.006-05:00

Ha! That title was created by me. And by me, I mean.... Liz. But, whatever. If in 50 years someone says "Hmm...remember that great blog about that random dude who drank more beers than most people in their mid-twenties do? I should re-read it", then they will click on "December 2010" and see this title. And it will be preserved forever!!!*

(I wonder if blogs will be super outdated in 2060, aka 50 years from now. Probably. I mean, it was only 10 years ago that everyone had a Xanga and a Livejournal and an AOL account and AIM. And now no one has any of those things.)**

That all said, I try to be a great wife like the title says. Let me tell you a tale of a time (a beer-related time) that I tried to be a great wife.

*Ahem*

Once upon a time, last Thursday, Ryan and I ventured all the way up to Midtown to see Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson on Broadway. It was awesome. Simply and totally awesome. If you live anywhere near the NYC area, come see it before it closes in January.

One thing I must say before I go on with my story is that I like the trend in recent years that I've been seeing at Broadway shows. Now, a lot of theaters allow - nay, encourage - you to buy food and drinks for consuming in your seats during the show. It used to be (and still is at stuffier theaters) that you would pre-order your cocktails so that you could slam them back during the 10 minute intermission aka bathroom-line-wait-time. First time I ever saw this was at How The Grinch Stole Christmas and now have seen it at all shows at the New World Theater (Evil Dead the Musical, etc,). At plays like In The Heights you had to go to the bar to order the drink and then bring it to your seat. At other plays, like The Toxic Avenger, they come to your seats and sell drinks and food like you're at a non-boring baseball game. It's a nice trend (in London it was also allowed in most theaters and having a drink while watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang by myself may have helped the show be even greater in my mind).

Anyway.
After seeing this show (which is only 95 minutes long and has no intermission), it was only 8:45pm. So we thought we'd go get a drink in fancy shmancy Midtown before heading back to crummy old Brooklyn (Just kidding! Brooklyn's the best!). I came up with the perfect plan.

You see, if we were just any-old couple, we would have probably stopped in some lame faux-Irish pub for an over-priced beer and called it a night. Or gone to The Olive Garden's bar. But we are not just any-old couple, we are the couple featured on a blog about drinking beer. Which means that sometimes the beers being drunk are not too interesting so the location has to become much cooler. So I suggested we head somewhere that many of the readers (hopefully) have not been to.

So we walked south a few blocks to this:

Yes, my friends, it is a bar owned by Burger King. I had read about it on the interwebs, so I figured that would make for a fun story. Ok, maybe not fun, but cooler than "and I drank the beers on my couch", which much of this blog features. Drinking! In Burger King! Maybe it would make the suburban readers' heads explode! Because New York City is so awesome and way more advanced and progressive than the rest of the country -- we serve beer at our fast-food places.

So we walk in. And there are signs everywhere saying things like "Alcohol must stay on the premises. Sorry, it has to be our way on this one" (Get it!?! 'Cause their slogan is "Have it your way" but now they're saying that you can't! Clever, marketing gods...clever.) So yes. We see all these signs with pictures of Burger King paper cups filled with yellow beer and we smell the flame-broiled meat and read the description on the menu about Funnel Cake Sticks (yup, that's a thing now...). But we can't find the beer.

We walk upstairs (yup, fancy fast-food in the big city has two floors, y'all) and see no beer. We look at the menu by the registers and see no beer. We walk all throughout the place and see no beer.

And then I spot it. In tiny, little, itty-bitty letters on the bottom of one of the before-mentioned clever signs it says "Coming soon".

Yup. A BAR that has no alcohol. Only dead animals.

WORST BAR EVER

So, this is a tale of my trying to be a great wife. I suggested a place that I thought would make for a funny note in an upcoming Ryan-written post and instead we drank beers, where? On the couch.

Oh well. I have no numbers, and I have no actual beer-drinking stories.

The End.

*Or until the End of Days. Whichever comes first.
**My parents do. Well, only those last two things. I hope.

[ed. note: It's Ryan. Here are the numbers for the past couple of days. Wednesday night I had two Otter Creak Octoberfests and an Anderson Valley IPA on the couch, you know, that place of places Liz previously mentioned. Thursday night (after the show) I had, wait for it, an Avery Brown Ale and a Moa Dark Lager (from New Zealand!) on the couch, so those are gone. Last night I took a trip to jolly ol' England, having a Fullers Extraspecial ESB, Sam Smith Organic Lager, and a Young's Double Chocolate Stout while watching Cameron Diaz have one of the worst Irish accents of all time in Gangs of New York on the Couch (which I guess is capitalized now). Then, having run out of English ales, I had a Roscoes's Hop House Pale Ale. So that's 9 beers since we last checked in, bringing the total to.....959. 41 to go!)

A Tale of Three Rude Elves

2010-12-01T14:09:00.001-05:00

As you might have gleaned from my year's worth of posts, I don't have the most sophisticated palate in the world. This may seem odd given that I, you know, write about beer drinking and all, but I think in general having a less sophisticated palate helps me as a beer drinker. It keeps me from getting too snooty about the whole beer tasting ordeal. It keeps me more focused on drinking culture than on beer critique, which I think is good given that there's enough negativity and criticism out there. Also, given my not so sophisticated palate, I tend to get drawn to bigger, bolder, more interesting beers, which I'm just going to assert is a good thing. This would probably explain why one of my favorite beers, seasonal or not, is Bethlehem Brew Works Rude Elf Reserve. But having a less-than-stellar palate can also have some draw backs, such as if you're attempting to compare a beer to an aged version of itself. The differences can be super subtle and if you don't have the tongue for it, you might miss out on the differences. Fortunately for me, the beer I chose to age was a Bethlehem Brew Work's Rude Elf Reserve and the differences were, let's say, not too subtle.

Way back when, back when I first started this blog, I picked up a 4 pack of 25 oz bottles of Rude Elf Reserve 2009. I drank three, like, immediately, and patiently put one aside. The plan was to pick up a bottle of Rude Elf Reserve 2010 and then taste the bottles side by side to see what the effects of aging it were. You know what's tough? Having an apartment completely free of beer EXCEPT for a nice 25 oz bottle of Rude Elf you've promised yourself you wouldn't drink until the year's end. I don't want to say that this was "tie me to the mast so I can't run toward the Sirens" difficult but.....actually that's exactly what I want to say. But regardless of the difficulties, I did. I aged the ever-living-eff out of that beer and brought it with me to Bethlehem over Thanksgiving, ready to pair it with a 2009. Except it didn't exactly turn out like that.

I went to the Brew Works on Wednesday for dinner and to pick up a 25 oz, bottle conditioned bottle. The 25 oz bottle was key here, because those are bottle conditioned and the 12 oz ones are not. They're both great but I wanted to be able to compare apples to apples here. I am informed that they don't have any on hand at the moment, but to come back on Saturday because they might have some then. Dutifully, I returned on Saturday only to find out they didn't bottle the Rude Elf in 25 oz bottles this year. Well nuts. Not having the will power to age my bottle another year and hope that they bottle condition the 2011 version, I came up with plan B. Instead of a straight bottle conditioned bottle to bottle conditioned bottle comparison, I decide to compare my 2009 25 oz bottle conditioned bottle with a 2010 12 oz non-bottle conditioned bottle, AND one poured straight from the tap at the Brew Works! Here's some fun trivia: that last sentence used the word "bottle" eight times, which must be some kind of record.

The three way comparison thus described is a little disingenuous. I drank the Rude Elf from the tap at BBW at around 1. Then I proceeded to have an Oatmeal Stout. Then I went to the Weyerbacher Brewery were I did some sampling. Then around 9 I opened the 25 oz bottle. Suffice it to say, I can't really tell you how the tap tastes in comparison to the other two bottles because my sense memory, itsa, how do you say?, not so good-a. But the Rude Elf on tap was delicious, I can tell you that.

So let's get to the meat and potatoes here. I am awful at describing the tastes of beers, which is why I don't do too much brew review, but here's what I can say. The aged 25 oz bottle was super mellow, super sweet, and, oddly enough, not alcohol-y tasting. The 12 oz, non-aged bottle was way more intense. The spices were way more impactful, the alcohol more present. To make a strained music comparison that maybe three or four of you will understand, the 2010 non-aged bottle resembled the Mountain Goats' early lo-fi stuff. It screamed. It was raw. It was intense. The 2009 aged bottle resembles, lets say, the Mountain Goats' later album, We Shall All Be Healed. Still intense, but more produced, a little more settled, and a little more mature. The two Rude Elves, much like early v. late Mountain Goats, are both great in their own right and could very easily have ardent defenders. But in the end, its a win win. Both are great. Different, but great. So that was my adventure in aging and comparing beers. Worth it? If it means I got to drink three Rude Elves in one day (which also may be some kind of record), then yes, definitely.

Total Beers: 950!

(Sunday, I had nothing, Monday I had a Hebrew Lenny's RIPA, an Erdinger Hefe Dark, and an Otter Creak Octoberfest at home (3). Tuesday I had a Brooklyn Winter Lager at City Tavern and an Anderson Valley IPA and Otter Creak Octoberfest at home (3)).

Calling in the CPAs to do Some Number Crunching

2010-11-28T14:48:00.000-05:00

Total Beers: 944
Where I Should Be: 906.849

So you might have noticed I put the numbers up front. The total beers includes my Thanksgiving weekend totals you'll see at the bottom here. I did the Bethlehem Brew Works Rude Elf Reserve tasting as best I could and you'll hear about that tomorrow, but for now I wanted to talk about some updated numbers. I'm getting pretty close to the end here and I'm almost 40 full beers ahead. But the thing is, the "Where I Should Be" numbers are calculated based on my finishing on December 31st. However, because I want to have some type of celebration for the 1000th beer, and I can't have a party on New Years for logistical reasons, I'm going to be finishing, hopefully, on December 19th. That's 12 whole days earlier, meaning my Where I Should Be needs to be adjusted as such.

I have 56 beers to go. I have 22 days to drink them. As such, I need to be drinking 2.545 beers per day, which is slightly less than the 2.7 or so I've had to drink so far. So while being almost 40 beers ahead is pretty impressive, it's not so impressive if you cut off 12 days of drinking. Also, I've got those finals or what have you coming up, so I've got figure at least three or four of those days (tonight included, I need some post-Thanksgiving detoxing here) are going to be beer free. So let's say I've actually got 18 days worth of beer drinking till my new deadline. That's 3.111 beers per day. That's higher than my original pace. The moral of the story is: I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do this. I had anticipated cruising into the 1000th beer well ahead, with perhaps a few days of no beer drinking. But that's not going to be the case now. Now I'm going to have to work. And believe you me, I am up for the challenge. I'll get back at you with a beer related post tomorrow, but I just wanted to fill you in on my new found challenge here.

Wednesday: Bethlehem Brew Works Nemesis at BBW, Sam Adams Old Fezziwig, Sam Adams Chocolate Bock (3)
Thursday: Yards George Washington Porter, Sam Adams Holiday Porter, Sam Adams Winter Ale, Sam Adams Old Fezziwig, Sam Adams Lager (5)
Friday: Sam Adams Chocolate Bock, Sam Adams White Ale, Bethlehem Brew Works Rude Elf Reserve (12 oz 2010 bottle) (3)
Saturday: Bethlehem Brew Works Oatmeal Stout and Bethlehem Brew Works Rude Elf Reserve on tap at BBW, BBW Rude Elf Reserve (25 oz 2009 bottle), BBW Rude Elf Reserve (12 oz 2010 bottle), 2 Weyerbacher Harvest Ales at the in-laws (6)

Here's to Beer! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!

2010-11-24T18:02:00.001-05:00

Well Happy Pre-Thanksgiving everybody. I'm writing this post a bus, which is the worst form of transportation ever devised. I was going to say "devised by man" but this is clearly the devil's work. Thanksgiving is an interesting holiday in that you get together to eat and drink with family and friends at a holiday whose history and iconography might be the most racist things on earth. The whole "the Indians got together with the Pilgrims and had themselves a nice dinner where they worked things out peacefully" story might be the most offensive whitewashing of a genocide ever. Seriously. To make an EXTREMELY APT analogy, this would be like if we had a holiday celebrating that time when all of the slaves and slave-masters got together for a big meal and peacefully worked out their differences. I know you're going to say, "Ryan, no one pays attention to that story anymore. Now its just a day about giving thanks. You have a problem being thankful?" To you I say: cut the shit. First, that racist iconography is everywhere. Liz once made a similar point to me, and then she went out and bought dish towels with turkeys wearing those Pilgrim hats with buckles on them. So now, every time they are out, I get to point at them and say, "I am right! I am always right! This racist iconography is so seeped into our culture that even you, Liz, you who recognizes that, yeah that story is pretty racist, has purchased and displayed items bearing that racist iconography!" I anxiously await my Husband of the Year Award.

Second, I am perfectly fine with giving thanks. I love being thankful. Gratitude is one of the best 'tudes there is, probably right behind Latitude and ahead of Platitude. I am all for family and friends and hanging out and counting your blessings. But let's go ahead and move it to day that doesn't directly whitewash the greatest American genocide. I think a helpful way to think about this is if you were an American Indian, how would you feel about the Thanksgiving day story? Probably not too thankful.

But in the non-racist spirit of the holiday, I'd like to take a moment and discuss some beer things I am thankful for (for which I am thankful, that is): The 21st Amendment. The fact that I can get great beers from all over the world right in my hometown. The fact that I can go all over the world and find beers that I can't get in my home town. Barleywines. Yuengling's storage caves. That my grandma knows what a growler is. The lack of a noticeable (meaningful) backlash to "extreme" beers. Ceasar Romero from Unibroue. The internet (someone write a phd dissertation on the internet as propagating the craft beer movement). That I can get a Sam Adams Chocolate Stout at the corner bodega in my West Indian Brooklyn neighborhood. Michigan as a Top 5 beer state. That people with more stones than me quit their jobs office jobs to start brewing full time. Tap handles. Arizona's track record of producing great floral IPAs. That my wife likes beer. Beer as a universal currency. That Sudan has a brewery. Holiday ales. That there was something called a "Beer Summit." 21st Amendment's cans. That Obama has been to Bethlehem Brew Works. Ommegang's commitment to Belgian ales. That its the beverage of choice for sporting events. That New York State gave Brooklyn Brewery serious cash to expand their brewery. That I accidentally stumbled upon that super delicious Ommegang Adoration listed below while waiting in line to buy other beer. That America is the best beer country in the entire world. And I'm deadly serious about that.

Add what you're thankful for in the comments. I would like to know!

Tuesday: Hebrew Bittersweet Lenny's R.I.P.A., Erdinger Hefe-Weizen Dark
Monday: Duchess de Bourgogne
Sunday: Ommegang Adoration Special Winter Ale, Yuengling Premium, Ommegang Three Philosophers

79 Beers to Go

2010-11-21T17:48:00.000-05:00

Apparently most of my updating is taking place in my professional responsibility class now. This time, though, its appropriate enough. So, you may know that my cause de jure for these last couple of months has been to dispel the notion that any and all alcohol consumption is problematic. By in large, most media outlets like to look at alcohol problems through two lenses: either having a drinking problem is the result of the number of drinks drank in a week or the amount of consecutive days one goes drinking at least one drink. Both these approaches, I think, are pretty idiotic. With this in mind, I flipped through my professional responsibility book to find a section on Alcohol and Substance Abuse in the Legal Profession. It starts talk about the widespread problems of alcohol abuse in the legal field and how alcohol abuse might speak against someone's fitness to practice. But color me surprised when I read the Association of American Law Schools' definition of alcohol abuse: using alcohol "in a manner that does physical, psychological or emotional harm to yourself and/or others." This, my friends, is a reasonable, and workable, definition of alcohol abuse. Bigger picture stuff, guys, bigger picture stuff. It's amazing to me that an organization representing perhaps the most unreasonable institutions on earth would be the one to proffer a definition of alcohol abuse I can get behind, but there it is. With that said, let's discussing my drinking (none of which has done physical, psychological or emotional harm to myself and/or others).

Unfortunately we once again have to take a trip to almost a week about. Tuesday, due to the magic of the mystery cases, I drank an Erdinger Hefe-Weizen Dark and a Black Toad Dark Ale on my couch. Erdinger = pretty good. Black Toad? Not so much. One of my biggest pet peeves in terms of beer drinking is people referring to beers solely by their color, as in, "I only like light beers," or, "I'm in the mood for a dark beer." Unless you have that color/taste mix up that LSD users report, you don't taste the color of the beer. The color can be indicative of the taste, but even then, that's only sometimes. Saying something like is almost akin to saying, "I don't like orange paintings," but somehow that makes more conceptual sense than judging a beer solely by color. So with that pet peeve in mind, it breaks my heart that both of the beers I drank use "dark" as their primary descriptive term. In the Erdinger case its pretty excusable, given that it already tells you its a Hefe-Weizen and you could imagine that a "dark" version of that would be maltier, but just Dark Ale? That tells me nothing! Let's be real here Black Toad! (2)

Wednesday was another mix pack mash up. I drank a Leipziger Gose, Anderson Valley Hop Ottin' IPA, Erdinger Hefe-Weizen Dark, and Lindeman's Peche Lambic all on the couch. Nothing too much to report here, except maybe that I don't like Lambics all that much. To each his own though! (4)

Thursday I actually left my apartment! Went to a Nick Kroll comedy special taping at the Music Hall of Williamsburg where I drank 2 Sierra Nevadas. So leaving the house is fun, but also expensive. While I copped the tickets for free, buying my two beers, plus two beers for a friend, ended up costing more than a whole case of Park Slope mixed beers. When I got home I had a Roscoe's Hop House Pale Ale which was really good. (3)

Friday, in a weird turn of events, I only had one beer, a Hebrew Lenny's R.I.P.A. which is a phenomenal imperial IPA. (1)

Saturday was a pretty big drinking day. Liz and I decided to make the most of the fleeting fall weather and take a walk around Cobble Hill. So we walked the three miles down there, but instead of spending the afternoon walking around stores and junk, we found ourselves planted at Strong Place for about three hours. Here's how this happened. I've talked in the past about those awesome Brokelyn Beer coupons I have. Bought a book of 25 coupons for free beers from bars around Brooklyn for $25 about a year ago. The goal of this coupon book is to get people into beer bars they wouldn't generally go to and to stay and spend money after the first free beer. Well normally Liz and I have gone for the free beer and left without getting suckered into spending money. Well, on Saturday we got sucked. Strong place is awesome. They have about 20 taps on hand are pretty reasonably priced (for example, a Smuttynose Barleywine went for 5 bucks). To top it off, we had about the friendliest waitress on earth. Here's a trick that serves can use to get me to stay for more drinks: give me samples of beers I haven't had without me asking for them. So after I have my first/free beer there (a delicious Allagash Curieux, a Belgian Triple) Liz and I get an unprompted tasting of some cider (which Liz ordered) and a Jasmine IPA which was super delicious. So clearly I have to stay now. I order a flight of four four ounce beers (which I'm counted as one beer). In this flight was an Allagash Odyssey (a bourbon aged Belgian ale), a Smuttynose Barleywine, an Elysian Jasmine IPA (super delicious, could really taste the jasmine but not in an overpowering way), and a McNeill's Oatmeal Stout. After this I ordered a can of Oskar Blue's Gubna, an imperial IPA I've been wanting to try, but buying it at the beer distributors it still costs 5 bucks a can. Well, they had it at a bar for 6 so I jumped on the opportunity. Then we went home!

You might think that would be it for me for the day, but you'd be wrong. That night I went over to my friends' place for a TV party and drank two Negro Modelos and a Brooklyn Pennant bringing me to six beers total for the day!

Total Beers: 921
Where I Should Be: 887.671

(Less Than) 99 Bottles of Beer to Go!

2010-11-15T13:55:00.001-05:00

I'd like to say that my weird, prolonged absences were intentional. I'd like to say that I have about 8 Suns posts in my pocket that I've been working on. I'd like to say that my once a week posting has been due to me trying to build suspense about the numbers. I'd like to say a lot of things. This is all just laziness though, pure and simple. Here's how bad this is, I had to go back and check when then last time I updated was. Here's something worse, my recollection of specific beers is pretty hazy, but we'll power through. Given that I'm updating in my professional responsibility during a discussion on misleading statements to the courts, I'm only going to give you the real deal here. I may have to post some corrections later after I talk to Liz, because she may be able to provide some insights. The problem isn't that I've been getting so wasted that I just don't remember what I've been drinking. The problem is that I haven't been writing things down. Try to remember what you had for dinner last Monday. Try it. Pretty difficult, right? But we'll get there. I'm actually going to update in reverse here, because maybe by the time I get to Monday, the ol' memory will be jogged loose here. I'm going to put the numbers next to the day to make things a little easier, math-wise, for me.

Last night (Monday): Had a Sierra Nevada Lager at John's Pizza in the Village. Then went to Peculiar Pub where I had an Avery Old Jubilation (their winter ale) which was super delicious. Then at home I had an Alhambra Negra. It's from Spain! And not that great! (3)

Sunday: nothing at all. Detoxing the body night.

Saturday: This one's easy. I was in Washington D.C. for a friend's birthday. Started the evening with a 21st Amendment Fireside Chat at my friends' place. Followed that up with a Goose Island Matilda and a Founders Cerise, their cherry ale, at Marvin's. This was followed up by a Dale's Pale Ale at some electronic dance club whose name I did not get. Piece of advice: it is hard to dance with glow sticks while holding a beer. In future cases, I would recommend forgoing the glow sticks. (4)

Friday: Split a 25 oz bottle Lagunita's Imperial Stout with Liz (which was delicious) and drank a Golden Pheasant. Let me say a few words about Golden Pheasant. There were 4 combined in the cases we had. I was jazzed at first because I thought they were Pilsner Urquels. They were not. If I knew anything about the law or trademark, I would say that Golden Pheasant probably shouldn't package their beers like that. Also they were kind of gross. Also, they're from Slovakia, so there's a first! An international week, eh? (2)

Thursday: Ahh Veterans day, which I had off from work but not school because I guess my law school hates the troops or something. Anyway, I had an Old Speckled Hen at Chip Shop out in Park Slope during a late lunch. The next beer I drank was a Sam Adams Winter Lager in the Upper East Side at midnight. Kickball happened in between (2).

Wednesday: Wednesday, had a Reservoir Ale at Reservoir of all places during what my friends Dave and Emily have dubbed "First Dinner." Later that evening I split 25 oz bottles of Troeg's Mad Elf and Goose Island's Christmas Ale 2009 with Liz on the couch. All were delicious (can't stop to elaborate here! my memory! it's a jogging!) (3)

Tuesday: Traquair House Ale on couch. Delicious! Wexford Irish Cream Ale! Delicious and fun to pour! (2)

Monday: Two 21st Amendment Fireside Chats and a Southern Tier Harvest Ale on the couch!!!!!!! (3) We did it! Take that, short term memory loss!!!! I vouch for all of these beers. Every last one of them. Man, I did not think I'd be able to do that. Here's to more frequent updating!

Also, remember when I said I drank a Harvest something ale at Cornelius? It was a Harviestoun Ola Dubh!!!! That update's for the archivist. I'm on a g-d role here baby. You know how I figured that last one out? I went to the Whole Food's beer place on Wednesday and saw it there. So Whole Foods beer, in stark contrast to their, you know, food, is actually pretty cheap and they were selling it for 16 dollars for a 12 oz bottle! That's nuts!

Total Beers: 905 (holy shit, we're down to the final 100!!!!!)
Where I Should Be: 873.972

Long time, no see! It's Liz!

2010-11-10T23:43:00.000-05:00

Well hello. Ryan doesn't know I'm posting, but I am. So shhh...this is just between you and me.

Ryan has casually mentioned something on this blog once or twice, but it's just too awesome for me not to talk about and where else to talk about it but on my husband's blog while he's not watching?

The beer place by our apartment is pretty great. And I mean, honestly, pretty great for being in the middle of Brooklyn. Not the gentrified, beautiful, moms-with-strollers-and-too-much-money Brooklyn, but the real "Haaaay, I'm'a wawking heeere" kind of Brooklyn. But honestly, this place is great.

Much like Michigan, New York is a great beer state. Now. As a native Pennsylvanian, I know we have amazing microbreweries and brewpubs. PA is a great beer state - but also a terrible beer state. Did you know that you can only buy beer in cases in PA? Yes. Fact. Except at like 3 stores in the entire state (and no, I have no idea how they get around the law), you have to sell by the case and you have to have limited sales on Sundays. You know..Blue laws. Totally relevant.

Relevant you say? Right! Back to my point.

So the beer store here in Brooklyn sells lots of cases of random crap (PBR, Coors, etc.) as well as cases of really cheap bad stuff (ie: This post.) What's that? That's not a link? Correct - Ryan has titles that do not relate to the content so I can't find it. What I meant to link to was when I bought a 24-pack of beer for like $11 and while it was gross, it was suuuuper cheap. That being said, they also have awesome cases, 6-packs, and individual bottles for good prices.

Additional side note: There is an amazing place, Bierkraft, that we go to a lot. They have great growlers, bottles, and aaaaamazing sandwiches. But the bottles, while of a great selection, are more expensive than the regular case-place near us. So, from time-to-time, we head over to the beer place near our apartment with our granny cart and get some beer.

A few days (weeks?) ago, Ryan and I went to get some beer and spotted these random mystery cases put together by the Park Slope Food Co-op (read all about it by cranky, lazy people in the NYTimes!) It's a plain brown box full of 24 beers ... for $19.99. Now, when I say this to my brother in Central Pennsyltucky, he thinks that's pricey. In NYC, though, 6-packs are $10-$15 each. Case places are few and far between, so heading the few blocks to get a $20 case rather than spending $40-$60 on 4 six-packs is a good idea financially.

Whew, this is getting really long for me not saying much. ANYWAY. We got a case and it was decent - lots of German random beers. And one non-alcoholic beer. WHAT?! We then went back for a second - and it was waaay better. Lots of awesome microbrews, great beers that usually go for $6 each, etc. But also 2 Shandies. WHAT?! (again).

Today we went back for 2 more cases. Here's what I wanted to say. It was nerve-wracking to pick which case to buy. What if you choose a case of 24 bottles of German whatever rather than that other case which is holding 24 bottles of Westvleteren. It's so nerve-wracking! But we did okay. Two cases of pretty decent stuff (although my case won: Ryan's had SIX ciders! Bwahahaha...Mine only had 2.)

I was reminded to say that this was a great idea and a great ploy by an organization to try to unload stuff they couldn't sell by simply putting a couple of good beers inside of the box. Much like this.

Or this! And now...the purpose of this post. This song has been in my head since we bought these cases, so I am now putting that fate on you.

CLICK THIS!

Bring Out Your Numbers

2010-11-08T19:38:00.003-05:00

Liz is admonishing me to post. So here it goes. Wednesday: no booze! Unfortunately, I could have used some, as I saw the second worst play I have ever seen in my life. Thursday I drank 2 Reissendorf Kolsches (not in kolsch glasses, unfortunately), a Fuller's ESB, and a Brooklyn Octoberfest on my couch. Friday was one of the best beer days of my life. I don't know about that for real, but it was a seriously great winter beer drinking evening. First up, an Ommegang O Kyndnes, a new belgian scotch ale from possibly my favorite brewery. So I love Ommegang, belgian ales, and scotch ales, so you'd probably imagine I hated this. Well you'd be wrong. It was great! Up next was a 21st Amendment Fireside Chat, a self-described "winter spice ale" from a phenomenal brewer. I love, LOVE, spiced ales. Much like hopheads, I fancy myself a spice-head. Additionally, you may recall Monk's Blood is one of my favorite beers of all time, so my expectations for this beer were through the roof. That's unfortunate because, while the beer is phenomenally good, nothing could have met my expectations on this one. I wanted a spice-explosion and instead got a reasonably-spiced, perfectly delicious beer. But check out the can!

After that was a Full Sail Wreck the Halls which was pretty dope. It's essentially an IPA and a winter warmer smashed up into one beer. While it's a pretty interesting combo, it's neither hoppy enough nor winter warmer-y enough to make it really stand out. More, damn you! More! I followed that up with a Southern Tier Harvest Ale. Southern Tier. I need to drink more of you. After their Imperial Pumpkin and the Harvest, I have to say they have the market cornered on winter/seasonal ales. It's delicious. I finished off the evening with a Einbecker Mai-Ur-Bock. Great beer drinking evening! I love winter ales!

Saturday I had a Harvest (something? My plan was to take a picture of the lengthy name on the blackboard on my out, but I forgot to and can't seem to find the name on the internet) at Cornelius. The waiter hyped this thing up a ton. I thought, hell, I'll get it. It was 8 bucks and, as I would discover, 8 ounces. 8 ounces! You kidding me? You're not Sam Adams Triple Bock! Get the hell out of here! I mean it was good, it was sort of a cross between a harvest ale and a barley wine, but temper your enthusiasm waiter! I then had two Red Stripes at Woodwork, which would be sleeper candidate for top 5 bars in Brooklyn. Later that evening I had two Presidentes at my friends' place before seeing Rocky Horror Picture show at midnight.

Sunday. Sunday I had a Southern Tier Harvest Ale, a 21st Amendment Fireside Chat, and a Einbecker Pils. Sorry for the straight run down of numbers here, but I have things in the works. I know on facebook I said Channing Frye was in the works, but I think I might outsource that on account of that needs to be an Arizona beer and I just can't get any of those out here. So instead I've been working on Jared Dudley, who, in awesome form, just graced the cover of a San Diego magazine about bars. I love Jared Dudley! I love San Diego! I love bars! Someone get me a copy of that!

Total Beers: 886
Where I Should Be: 852.054
Number of Exclamation Points in this Post: 13 (I actually counted. Also, I thought about adding one here, but it would make the final count ambiguous, and this is a black and white zone my friends)

Listen to this Engine Whine

2010-11-03T11:58:00.000-04:00

It was the death of six pack Sunday. I mean not really. I just had work to do during the day so I couldn't down my customary three beers while watching football. Doing work on Sundays is the worst. Instead, my drinking was limited to splitting a growler of Brooklyn's Cuvee Noire with Liz at night (poured three for me!). It's really good. Liz is going to write up a review for it as soon as I tell her to, which is right now! So get to writing Liz-o!

Since Sunday wasn't Six Pack-ified, Monday didn't require the customary detoxification. I intended to have three beers, but only had two. When I say intended to, it means I pulled three beers out of my fridge, except only two were actual beers. The third? Einbecker Brauherren NON-ALCOHOLIC MALT BEVERAGE! Those bastards at the Park Slope Food Co-op thought they could slip in a non-alcoholic beverage without me noticing? Well those moms have another thing coming! I can't tell you how upset I was over this. I didn't notice that it wasn't a beer until I pulled it out of the fridge. Worse? It was the only "beer" in the fridge at the time! The other ones weren't cold in the slightest, so after receiving the insult of being sold a non-alcoholic "beer," I had to wait until I could drink an actual beer! But, BUT, did I drink the Einbecker? Well, I tried. I always wondered what the NA beer tasted like, and I really did keep an open mind to liking it, but man, it was disgusting. Later I drank a Brooklyn Octoberfest and a Wells Bombardier.

Speaking of Wells Bombardier, last night (Tuesday) at James in Prospect Heights, Liz paid 9 dollars for one! I mean they're super good, but 9 bucks? Let's be real. Also, at James I had Lagunitas IPA for a somewhat reasonable 6 dollars. At home I had a Reissdorf Kolsch (in my kolsch glasses again, chumps) and a Leipziger Gose. I did that while watching re-runs of the office which, all in all, was a better option than my original plan for the evening which was, after spending almost 12 hours doing law school related nonsense, going home and putting my head in the oven. Hey, did you know that I like beer? Seriously though, I can't emphasize this enough, I like doing things that I like doing, and drinking a beer is towards the top of that list. Seriously. What's the point of going through life just doing things you hate to do because you have to do them? Eventually I write a whole coherent (not likely) post about all of this, but for now, this'll do.

Total Beers: 869
Where I Should Be: 838.356

Happy Cursed Scary Gypsy Lady Day

2010-10-31T12:17:00.001-04:00

Interestingly enough, I'm having a great time writing these Suns updates, but it sort of cuts into my everyday writing about my drinking. As such, my last update involved my Sunday drinking, but fret not my loved ones (and enemies), I've been keeping track of my drinking. And in grand catch-up (ketchup?) tradition, I'll be starting with Monday and working my way up to last night.

So on Saturday night...WHAAAAAAT? That's right, it's Super Psyche-Out Sunday, so I'm going to start from Saturday and work my backwards. On Tuesday I drank four beers (suckas, Super Psyche-Out Sunday strikes again). All these were on the couch while watching numbers on my computer screen corresponding to the Suns/Blazers game. Here's the list: Einbecker Mai-Ur-Bock, Brooklyn Pennant Ale, Coopers Lager, and an Einbecker Brauherren Pils. Also, you might have noticed that I didn't talk about Monday. Well, true to my word, it was an alcohol-free day. So there's that. Also, that was the worst paragraph I've written in my life. Nothing to be done about it now though.

Wednesday was somehow more subdued than watching numbers flash on my computer screen. Had a Brooklyn Pennant and a Brooklyn Octoberfest while sitting on my couch.

Thursday was another kick-ball extravaganza, which means a lot of drinking but very little that I can count. Although, my friend Alex saved the evening by ordering pitchers of Sam Adams lager for use in flip-cup instead of the standard Bud Light. So, I'm going to count 2 beers from that, which reasonable AND fair, which is a pretty solid one-two punch.

Now we're approaching Halloween weekend here. The thing is, all my friends are out of town so instead of dealing with insane crowds and insane covers at bars, Liz and I decided we would spend the weekend on our couch watching movies. Although, I did have a costume ready to go if we did decide to go out.

But we never ended up going out. We split a growler of Captain Lawrence Pumpkin Ale on the couch (poured 3 for me) and afterwards I had a Full Sail Session Lager which I bought because it was $1.50 at Bierkraft and the bottle is pretty cool looking.

And that leads us to Saturday. Went to Bierkraft (second day in a row, which is weird) where Liz and I bought a 25 oz bottles of McNeill's Pullman Porter and AleSmith's Yule Smith Holiday Ale. We drank the porter during dinner because I figured the Yule Smith would be too spicy to go along with the food. Turns out the Yule Smith isn't a spiced ale, but rather a Double Red Ale, which would have gone better with the sandwiches than the porter, but live and learn I guess. Both were good. Watched Drag Me to Hell and Nightmare Before Christmas while drinking a Fuller's ESB, Leipziger Gose, and Full Sail Session Black Lager.

One quick thing before I leave you for football here. Apparently George W. Bush, America's most infamous teetotaler, begins his new memoir by discussing his alcoholism. The memoir starts, apparently, with him not being able to remember the last time he went a day without a drink. While I'm not saying he wasn't an alcoholic, that's not a very good way to think about addiction and not a very good way to think about alcohol. Having a drink every day does not an alcoholic make. For you non-vegetarians out there, can you remember the last time you went a day without meat? No? Does that make you "addicted" to meat? Don't be cute/a douche and say that you are addicted to meat. You're not. There's enjoying things in moderation/not letting it destroy things in your life, and then there's addiction. Having a drink may be necessary to being an alcoholic, but it certainly isn't sufficient. Sorry for the rant to end things here, but in case you didn't know this, I think society at large has a pretty unhealthy attitude toward drinking. I mean America obviously has weird attitudes towards consumption in general (see just about anything involving obesity/diet fads/the amount of processed foods we consume and the amount of grief we give ourselves for doing so), but this image of "all alcohol consumption is dangerous/problematic" has got to stop. And on that note, here are the numbers:

Total Beers: 861
Where I Should Be: 830.136

Robin Lopez, The Future of the Phoenix Suns

2010-10-28T09:44:00.000-04:00

By way of introduction:

If that's your first taste of Robin Lopez, you're welcome. Here was my encounter with the man:

That's Robin Lopez being greeted by NBA commission David "I'm A Huge Douchebag" Stern after being selected with the 15th pick of the 2008 NBA by the Phoenix Suns. The video, in which Robin appears to be a graceful gazelle, deftly picking that poor Thunder's pocket and gliding smoothly to the rim, is somewhat misleading. Robin Lopez is a beast. An absolute monster of a man. He is a 7'0" mountain of intensity. I need you all to do me a solid right now. Take 30 seconds and listen to this. That voice you hear is Alvin Gentry, head coach of the Phoenix Suns. That explosion at the end? That's Robin Lopez. Here's a picture:

Here's what you just heard/are looking at. It's the middle of December during the 2009/2010 season. The Suns stormed off to a 14-3 record to start, only hit a serious lull after that. Come December, the Suns are in a bit of a losing streak. So in the midst of this, the Suns hold a practice in which the players scrimmage 3 on 3. Robin Lopez's team loses. Afterwards he calmly walks up the stairs and SLAMS THE DOOR SO HARD IT SHATTERS!!!!!!!!! Robin Lopez is so fiery that he will literally destroy his very own practice facility after losing a light scrimmage during practice. Yes, Robin Lopez truly is The Enforcer. Outside of completely demolishing doors and opponents, he also plays the game of basketball, at which he is very, very good. We'll get to that in a second.

Here's what else you need to know about Robin Lopez: he has an identical twin brother Brooke that plays for the New Jersey Nets. Brooke went about five spots earlier than Robin in the draft. Brooke gets a lot more hype. Brooke has a slightly better offensive game, but because he was on a really awful team, he got a lot more minutes which means a lot more stats. But here's the thing. Robin is the better defensive player. By a mile. In fact, Robin Lopez is quite quietly the Better Brother. Basketball people are starting to realize this. Consider for a moment the 2010 US FIBA Basketball Team. They're in the process of making cuts. Both Robin and Brooke were invited to camp. Robin had to back out because of back problems (puns!), leaving just the Lesser Lopez, Brooke. USA basketball head honchos went nuts. Brooke is probably going to be cut and now everyone is freaking out about the lack of interior defense and rebounding on Team USA. While Brooke gets the hype and the publicity, Robin gets things done.

Robin Lopez is a Stone Imperial Russian Stout.

Let's get the obvious out of the way. Fro-Lo played college ball at Stanford and Stone is from California, so they've got that in common. But let's look deeper.

Stone is widely, some would say primarily, known for its wicked assortment of hoppy ales. They have a whole gamut of IPAs and that are known and admired throughout the world. Their Vertical Series is the stuff of legends. But you know what might be secretly better than these beers that are way more well known? That's right, their Imperial Russian Stout. And you want to talk about intense? The Imperial Russian Stout is the definition of intensity. If we equate hoppy-ness with offensive production, which, I mean, why not?, then we can imagine why Stone's ales are the Brook Lopezes of the beer world. The Imperial Russian Stout may not immediately dazzle you the way a double IPA might, but in the end, its sheer intensity gets the job done. If defense wins champions, then I'm drafting (pun!) Stone's Imperial Russian Stout with a lottery pick. The Imperial Russian Stout is the type of fortifying beer that could, quite frankly, constitute a meal. If I'm stuck in an isolated cabin in the middle of the Upper Peninsula in January, I don't want my cabinets stocked with IPAs or flashy ales. No, I want this. You can keep your Brooks, your centers that can drop 30 points a game (which, by the way, Robin has done as well) but will ultimately lead your team to 20 wins. I'll take Robin. And I'll take a Stone Imperial Russian Stout.

Re-introducing Your Phoenix Suns

2010-10-26T15:39:00.000-04:00

Hey remember when I posted this in July? Me neither. Well to refresh your memory, I'm going to go ahead and combine my two favorite things in life: beer drinking and the Phoenix Suns (sorry friends and family! You'd definitely make the top 5 favorite things in my life, so no worries there!) In doing so, I will pick a beer for each member of the Phoenix Suns. Here's some, not rules per se, but consideration for each player's beer.

1. The beer should be from the player's home country. This seems obvious but also raises problems, See Nash, Steve.

2. For our domestic players, states should be considered. Home state, state where the player played college ball, state where the player played the bulk of their pro-career. All of it.

3. Style of play matters. This is kind of weird but I'm convinced that I'll somehow be able to translate "likes to play off the elbows" or "point-forward" into beer related terms. I haven't figured out how I'll be able to do that, but I'm positive I'll figure it out.

4. Personality matters. Both on court and off court. This one should play a pretty big role.

5. I'm limiting myself to only using the "he has mad hops" for picking a hoppy beer once. Guess which player? (Hint, sadly it's not Amar'e).

6. Career arc. Injury plagued? New to the league? Heady veteran?

7. Miscellaneous. Things like "Went to Duke but is still a cool guy," "Dope fro." Could fit into the personality portion I guess, but I already typed those things so its staying a separate category.

And in the grand tradition of legal balancing tests, no single factor is dispositive for what beer I choose and some categories may carry more weight in some cases than others. Also, I'm not going to break my write-ups down into those 7 categories, I just wanted to put that up there so you know my thought process going into this. Also, you have to be currently under contract with Suns to get a profile. Sorry Dwayne Collins! If you actually sign with the team I'll write you up! Also, I think I'm going to go in order of "Will certainly be on the team after the February trading deadline" to "Taylor Griffin." It's very possible that after I do a write up for a few of these players, they will no longer be on the team. So there's that! Also, if I still have the energy, I have three surprise Suns related persons that I will beerifying. I am excited. There will be basketball talk. There will be beer talk. It's everything I could ever want in life.

(Also, I didn't change that last paragraph since I posted in July, and now Taylor Griffin is no longer on the team. Prophetic!)

See you tomorrow with Robin Lopez.

Six Pack Sunday

2010-10-25T18:13:00.000-04:00

Lost in the negativity of yesterday's post was the fact that I drank 5 beers (3 Heinekens and 2 Stellas) at the fall bash. Now that that's done, let's move on to the positive: Friday through Sunday! Friday night was a needed night in. I drank a whopping total of 2 Brooklyn Octoberfests. Saturday, on the other hand, was a pretty fun/busy day. Liz and I went out to brunch and afterwards I was craving a coffee stout something fierce, so we sauntered on down to the ol' beer distributor where I picked up a bottle of Troeg's Java Head Coffee Stout and what amounted to a mystery bag of assorted beers. The place had cases of random assorted beers from the Park Slope Co-op on sale for 20 bucks. At a price that low we had to gamble. Any way, went home, drank the coffee stout. I gotta say, I am a fan of beers with breakfast. Here's something interesting. Did you know that orange juice wasn't always a breakfast drink? In the 1930s, there was an over abundance of oranges, so growers tried marketing the juice as a breakfast drink when it had previously been more of an evening drink, as it were. I'd like to see beer launch a similar campaign.

Later that evening I joined my friends at Brooklyn Bowl. Their band was headlining some CMJ thing there that night, which meant they got free meal and drink tickets, which one of their other bandmates didn't want, so in turn I got free drink tickets, which is awesome, not unlike this run-on sentence. So yeah, had a Brooklyn Pilsner with dinner at Brooklyn Bowl. Then we headed over to the Brooklyn Brewery where I had a Brooklyn Cuvee Noire, which I wish I had more to say about the beer, but I really don't. While I am constantly excited about all beers all the time, I like to be in a "beer-drinking" head space when trying new beers. Unfortunately, I was in a "hanging with friends" head space at the time, so the best I can tell you is that the beer was good and I look forward to trying it again and giving it my undivided attention. Went back to Brooklyn Bowl where I watched their band's stellar performance while drinking a Brooklyn Lager. All in all, an excellent Saturday.

But check out my Sunday. I think I'm going to start having every Sunday be a six-pack Sunday. I mean it has an alliterative name, so how could that be a bad thing? While my Cardinals lost pretty horribly, as did my fantasy team, the beer was superb. Five of the six beers (that is, every beer except the first) are from the random case. I started the day with a Bear Republic Tribute Brown Ale at 2 and finished with a Wells Bombardier at 11. In between I had a Reissdorf Kolsch (in a kolsch glass no less! What? You don't have kolsch glasses? Whatever you say, weirdo), Fuller's ESB, Whale's Tale Pale Ale, and a Leipziger Gose, whatever the hell that is. Instead of reviewing each beer, I'll just give you my list of preference: Bear Republic, Fuller's ESB, Reissdorf Kolsch, Well's Bombardier, Leipziger, and finally Whale's Tale. All of the beers were good, but none were exceptional. Well, I guess maybe the kolsch was an exceptional kolsch, but it's third place position probably tells you what I think of kolsch's. They're pretty good! Just other types of beer I think are better!

Well amigos, that was my weekend. The Suns' season starts tomorrow, and I'm not drinking tonight (Detox Monday, while excellent in practice, doesn't have quite the same ring as Six Pack Sunday), meaning I'll probably repost my rules for the Suns as Beer, and then drop the Robin Lopez post! Be excited. Here are some numbers:

Total Beers: 844
Where I Should Be: 813.698

Adults Don't Deserve Nice Things

2010-10-24T10:53:00.000-04:00

So I'd like to think this blog has been, all in all, pretty positive. I don't really like to say bad things about beers, even macros. The one time I went on the attack, I tried to be as positive about the whole experience as possible. As always, I want to highlight the positives of beer drinking and beer drinking culture.

But sometimes I forget that regular old drinking culture can be pretty awful. Before I get to the negatives, I want to say that I have had a really nice week in general. Saturday I had a Brooklyn Octoberfest at home and then went over to my friends' place where I had three Long Trail Blackberry Wheats (which I'm pretty sure are completely absent of alcohol). Then the lot of us went over to a bar next door to the Black Bear Lodge (Cooper something?) where I had 2 Sols (they came in a bucket man, and it was cheap). Perfectly nice evening with friends. Sunday, due to my cable company getting in a pissing match with Fox, I had to go to a bar to watch football. I had three Kelso Pilsners at Half Court while watch several of the games. Had a Brooklyn Octoberfest back in the apartment while watching more football. Outside of having to deal with rape-condoning Steelers fans (that is, all of them), a perfectly nice evening. Monday and Tuesday have very similar arcs. Both involved drinking 2 Octoberfests on the couch while reading/watching tv/hanging with the wife. Also, very nice. Wednesday night was a considerably nice night. I went out to drinks after class with a friend who just got married. I had a Speakeasy Prohibition Ale and a Yuengling Lager. Later that night was pub quiz with friends where I had a Harpoon Octoberfest and a Founders Ale.

See, that's what beer drinking and drinking in generally is supposed to be like. Having a few laughs with some friends. Relaxing on the couch after a long day. Hell, even making a vulgar joke or busting a ball or two. Fun, I think is the operable word. Beer drinking should enhance your day. Even after a thoroughly awful day, when you say to yourself, "Man, I need a beer," the point isn't to "drown your sorrows." The point should be, "I have had a day filled with doing things I do not enjoy doing. Drinking a tasty and refreshing beer is something that I do enjoy doing. I need a beer because for the X amount of time that it takes to drink it, I will be doing something that I like doing, and it's too easy to have days go by where you look back and say 'I didn't do a single thing that I actively wanted to do.' I am not obligated to drink this beer. I am drinking this beer because in a day/week/life where I have had to eat so much crow, as it were, this is something I am doing for me."

Let's visit Thursday night, now. Thursday night was the annual law school fall bash. I secretly (quite openly, actually) hate these things. They host them at some super douchey Manhattan clubs and then a bunch of entitled law students get dressed up and act like they're already making six figures while running around with six figure debt. In case you didn't know this, law students might be the worst people on earth. So why do I go? 20 dollar open bar and my law school friends are there. So despite the considerable negatives going into these things, I generally manage to have a pretty good time. And that was the by and large the case last night.

But let me tell you about two things that don't mix: an extreme sense of entitlement and being completely wasted. Unfortunately, those two things were present in copious amounts on Thursday. Without getting into too many details, drinking too many cheap well drinks apparently made a few people think that it was okay to talk to me and my wife in a way in which respectable people should not talk to one another. It got to the point Liz had to get security involved. I mean I get it. You're an idiot and decided to pay sticker price for a non-top 10 law school in the midst of the worst legal job market known to man. I get that you somehow came to believe that your very presence in law school entitles to a six-figure gig. I also get that you don't want to wait until you actually get that gig to act like you make six-figures. But here's what I don't get. Even IF you were what you acted like and were what you think you're entitled to be, you STILL don't get to treat people like that.

I get that times are sort of depressing. But you know what's not good to do if you're in a bad spot? Get super wasted. I said that I started this blog because I wanted to focus on the positives of drinking. Sometimes I think the American people get too hung up on the dangers of alcohol. Alcoholism is a real thing, but I think people are sometimes to quick to associate any and all alcohol consumption with something that is either dangerous or self-destructive. That's not the case. Hopefully I've somewhat demonstrated through this here blog that you can actually have a fun and responsible time imbibing. But when I go to things like this where the whole purpose of the evening is down as many well shots as possible to get as wasted as possible, I don't know why I get surprised when, guess what?, alcohol isn't always a positive for everyone. Not for me to be telling anyone how to live their life, but if drinking makes you forget to treat other people like human beings, you should probably stop drinking. I'm not talking about the random drunken fight between friends, because lord knows I've had a few of those (though none really this year, as I said beer = all positives for me this time around). I'm talking about forgetting that people you don't know are human beings, presumably just like you. And you're not just hurting yourself or the person you're directly attacking while you're being an ass. You're hurting all responsible alcohol consumers. You're confirming every moralist's view of alcohol bringing out the devil in people. You make it harder for people to believe that alcohol can be an amazing compliment to rewarding and responsible life. I didn't really mean to get on a soapbox here. Thursday night just really bothered me is all. But the moral of the story is, just be cool man. Have some drinks, have some fun, but if you feel compelled to scream at my wife and then try to expose yourself to her, uh, don't do that please.

Numbers and Friday/Saturday drinking will be posted later today.

Southern Tier's Imperial Pumpkin Ale is So Good It Gets a Mention In a Post's Title

2010-10-16T18:23:00.000-04:00

I took a week off from beer drinking. A whole week. Part of this was intentional. I needed to dry out for a day or two after Greg left town. Part of it wasn't. Wednesday night I just didn't have any beer in the apartment. But the beer drinking was rectified (that's probably not the word I'm looking for) on Friday night. After I thought I had a job for literally four seconds (long depressing story), I needed a beer. Went home, picked up a case of Brooklyn Octoberfest, and 25 oz bottles of Arcadia's Cereal Killer Barleywine and Southern Tier's Imperial Pumpkin Ale. Had the Cereal Killer first. Might be one of the most drinkable barleywines I have ever had, but I think I say that after every barleywine I have. I just have to face facts here and admit that I can session a barleywine, so...good for me? Followed that up with a Brooklyn Octoberfest. Next up, the Southern Tier Imperial Pumpkin Ale. Do me a favor. Go out and drink one right now. You will not regret it. I can't remember the last time I was so floored by a beer, but man, this beer was amazing. I'm not kidding when I say it tasted (and smelled like) drinking pumpkin pie in the best way imaginable. And at only 8 bucks for a 25 oz bottle, man, you can't beat that. I can't say anything for certain, given I've only had one, but the Southern Tier Imperial Pumpkin Ale might encroach upon Bethlehem Brew Works' Rude Elf's status as my favorite winter beer. Clearly, much more research is needed. And I know just the man for the job.

Total Beers: 809
Where I Should Be: 789.041

Five Borough Bar Crawl: Drunkards Take Manhattan (and Brooklyn, Staten Island, etc....)

2010-10-12T17:41:00.076-04:00

There wasn't any real reason to do it. If you think about it for more than, like, a second, it actually doesn't sound all that fun. But you know what else no one would have any reason to do and doesn't actually sound like any fun? Riding every ride at Disney World in one day, but they made a whole Step by Step episode about that (also weird that the kid they had running around doing that in the episode wasn't a regular character. Why wouldn't Cody be the one do that?). I had bandied about the idea of doing a bunch of mini-challenges in the context of my over arching challenge of drinking 1000 beers. Drinking a beer in every state (too expensive). Drinking a beer from every state (still on the table, but it sounds like more time and effort than I actually have). Drinking a beer from every country (scrapped on account of I don't want to alienate any readers that hail from countries that don't recognize other countries as existing, that is, much like LeBron James, I'm concerned about alienating the Chinese). Drinking a beer in every borough in New York City in one day. Now this is a pointless challenge I can knock out with minimal planning/effort. Also, I didn't google "five borough bar crawl" before undertaking this, so I assumed that I was the only one ever to think about doing this. After some post-borough-bar-crawl research, I found out that I was apparently the only person in New York City that hadn't done a five borough bar crawl and wrote about it on the internet. Welp, now the circuit is closed. Not to spoil anything, but I did it. I mean of course I did it. Also, not to spoil anything, but I'm about to write about it on the internet.

The adventure started in Staten Island. Or rather, the adventure started in Manhattan, waiting for the Staten Island Ferry terminal. We got on the ferry at around 12:30. As you can see from the picture below, a league of followers joined me on the boat, ready to start our five borough crawl.

I don't know what happened, but when I got to the bar I noticed that everyone on the boat except Greg and Liz didn't make it to the bar. I assumed they all got lost, but I didn't have time to wait around for 200 people to show. The first bar on the adventure was Jimmy Steiny's Pub in Staten Island.

We got to to Steiny's around 1. Steiny's was chosen for the sole property of being close to the Staten Island Ferry terminal. It was one block away and we could walk there. Also, they had beer. I mean not a lot, or anything good, but they had Yuengling and were open when we needed them to be. Steiny's was fine, but we had bigger fish to fry. We drank our Yuenglings and took off at 1:30.

The question I've been asked the most since accomplishing this feat is, "So you must have been so wasted."* No, no I wasn't (I mean not until my victory laps). Here's why. If you'll remember from four sentences ago, we left Steiny's at 1:30. After waiting for the 2:00 ferry back to Manhattan and then taking the 4 train all the way up to the Bronx, we didn't arrive at the next bar till 3:25. That's two hours between beers, which, if my calculations are correct, is a long time between beers. I'll be giving you the time stamps as we go along here so you can read this post in real time like that show 24 if you want.

The Bronx was the only borough we didn't have entirely planned. The Yankees were playing a home play off game that night, so we thought it would be cool to drink a beer up by Yankees Stadium. Turns out the game didn't start till 8:30 and we got to the Bronx around 3:15 and I guess Yankees fans are a bunch of wusses and don't want to pre-game for over 5 hours. We ended up in Yankees Tavern, one block away from the stadium, at around 3:15.

This place was pretty cool. As you can imagine it had a bunch of Yankees memorabilia up on the walls, but unlike every other bar out there at that time, it wasn't completely empty. Also pretty amazing: the tap selection. Unlike Steiny's, I actually had to think about which of the many beers they had on tap I wanted. I ended up drinking a Victory Donny Brook Stout, which I felt was appropriate for reasons that are beyond me. You may not know this about me, but I'm a task-master.** I'm also a fast drinker. This problem first arose in the Bronx when I finished my beer and had to anxiously nudge my co-conspiritors (wait for it) to chug-a-lug and get moving. We had a schedule. To avoid being at lagerheads (we're getting there) for the rest of the day, Liz and Greg didn't sass me and, much like the Dude, aimbibed (and there we go) my instructions.

We took the 4 train back down to Manhattan. Liz developed a mini-challenge within our mini-challenge (insert picture of snake eating itself here. That's not a missed prompt to myself. I'm actually telling you to go do it, just go ahead, tape it right on your computer screen/smart phone) of taking as many forms of transportation as possible in the day. So far we had ferry and train down. She wanted to ride a bus. So instead of walking the few blocks from the train station to the bar, we took a bus. We got off the bus, had a quick sandwich, and then made it to our third bar, the BXL Cafe in Manhattan at 5:05.

Also part of this trek was only going to bars that I had never been to.*** Researching Manhattan beer bars, I'd found that I had been to all of the noted ones except for this one. Fortunately for me, it was also on the right side of Manhattan, so it was a win-win-win. Also of note, at this juncture, our group grew from three to four, as my near and dear friend Eric joined us. Cafe BXL is a fancy Belgian cafe/beer bar that only has belgian ales on tap. Suffice it to say, it's pretty pricey. I had their house ale, the BXL Cuvee, in part because it was cool that they had a house ale and in part because it was the only beer under 10 dollars. It was ok! Prior to beginning this trip I thought that if I wasn't on a time crunch, I would start doubling down the beers once we got to Manhattan. While we weren't quite on a time crunch, I was anxious to get to the next bar in Queens and also to get out of there without a $50 bar tab, so we finished our one round and then took off at 6:05.

From the BXL Cafe, we jumped on the E train (which was running on the M track) and went on to the beer garden in Queens. No, not that one. The other one. We arrived at Studio Square at 6:45.

Studio Square is awesome. I mean really awesome. It has a ton of beers on tap, a ton of outdoor space, a ton of indoor space, and really cheap and really good cheese fries. Also, I think why I liked it so much was that it was a "German" beer garden that didn't try to be kitchy or anything. It was like someone decided they wanted to open up a nice, modern bar, but then came into a ton of retail space and then just decided to tastefully fill it with actual seats and extremely reasonably priced beer. Gone was the "hey let's pretend we're in Germany" vibe and present was the "hey, let's be an actual awesome bar, just a really, really huge awesome bar." I first order a liter of Hofbrauhaus Octoberfest. Here's a picture of Liz's hand next to my second beer, a half-liter, because I thought the size of the whole liter needed perspective. Also there's Eric in the background repping Free Energy. Also, I forgot to take any more pictures after this.

After we get our beers, a fifth party, Sam, joins us. Given that this place is super awesome, and that it's still relatively early, I get a second round, this time a half liter of Shipyard Pumpkin Ale, which has the distinction of being the wateriest pumpkin ale I have ever had. It was still spicy and drinkable, but if you hated the previously mentioned Blue Point Pumpkin Ale, well, you're going to really hate this. It's at this point that I am finally starting to feel the effects of drinking beer, which I guess can be directly attributable to drink 1 1/2 liters of beer in a marginally short time. We finish up and depart Studio Square at 9:20. From there, we jump on the N, and arrive at our last location, Mission Delores, in Brooklyn at 10:10

Mission Delores is a super awesome beer bar out in what I would call Park Slope but what neighborhood purists might call something else. I don't know. I don't play those games. It's something like 2/3 indoors and 1/3 outdoors, but its set up like a railroad apartment with the outdoor third sandwiched in the middle of the indoor thirds. It's pretty cool. Also cool and somewhat unexpected? Being psyched that I was about to drink a beer in every borough! As dumb as this sounds, I was sort of just looking at this as a way to kill time with some friends, but I genuinely felt accomplished when I ordered that Brooklyn beer. It made me anxious for the 1000th beer, because if I was genuinely excited to finish my mini-challenge, well I can't imagine what it will be like to finish my actual challenge.

I ordered a Mikkeller Centennial IPA as my first fifth borough beer. It was awesome. I'd never had Mikkeller before, but I had heard of their, let's say, commitment to hops and the IPA did not disappoint. Also of note, another friend, a different Eric, joined us here, bringing our total up to six. Up next was a Saison du Buff, a sweet collaboration from Dogfish Head, Victory, and Stone. Also amazing. I finished off the evening with a Six Point Crisp Lager, which apparently is a fancy lager, but at this point in time, well, I'd be hard pressed to give any tasting notes.

So that's the story of my epic five borough bar crawl. From what I can tell, while I may not be the first write about such a journey, I am the most long-winded in so doing. Here's a little cheat sheet for the evening. Sorry I didn't post this at the beginning, but what with giving you and incentive to read and all:

Staten Island - Jimmy Steiny's Pub - Yuengling Lager - Me, Liz, Greg
Bronx - Yankee Tavern - Victory Donny Brook Stout - Me, Liz, Greg
Manhattan - BXL Cafe - BXL Cuvee - Me, Liz, Greg, Eric
Queens - Studio Square - HB Oktoberfest, Shipyard Pumpkin Ale - Me, Liz, Greg, Eric, Sam
Brooklyn - Mission Delores - Mikkeller IPA, Saison Du Buff, Six Point Lager - Me, Liz, Greg, Eric, Sam, Eric

I look forward to the inevitable Life According to Jim episode based on my experience (I'm unsure they actually make that show anymore, or any sitcom really). Maybe Dan Aykroyd will play the non-series regular that makes the journey. That would be fun.

Total Beers: 806****
Where I Should Be: 780.821*****

*Not a question, geniuses.
**That's not true in the slightest. You probably did know that about me. Double joke in a footnote! Score one for resurrecting an admittedly annoying thing I did a lot when this blog first started. [ed. note, meaning still me, when Liz first read this, she said, "You're right. That is annoying."]
***Note to the editors/ghost writers of my future book: fix this sentence.
****Sunday I planned go dry out, but the Cardinals were within striking distance of the Saints at half time, so I high tailed it over to a local sports bar where I had one Kelso Ale while watching the second half. Worth it. I've been beer free since then though.
*****Also of note, while it seems like I've upped my beer intake, which I mean I guess I have, my lead has actually dipped a bit. I would attribute this to my 3 day beer absence, as well as the epic kickball night where only two counted.

There's a Picture of Marlo from the Wire At the Diner On My Block

2010-10-10T20:46:00.000-04:00

Hey there. I did an epic 5 borough bar crawl yesterday. I have pictures and junk. But that'll have to wait till tomorrow. Let's do the Thursday and Friday drinking before that. Ok, so Thursday was nuts. Like absolutely nuts. Epic kickball, epic post-game party. I went on a Flip Cup Survivor run that I will tell my grandchildren about (including winning a B.S. flip-off to get into the finals, I had that guy on the first go-round by a mile). So how many beers do I get to count? Two. Two beers. I had a Sam Adams Octoberfest before the game at Aces and Eights and a Climax IPA which I probably shouldn't have had at Jimmy's No. 43 after the post-game party. The rest? An un-quantified number of macrobrews. You see how committed I am to authenticity? Friday I had two Six Point Bark Red Ales at Bark, then a Jolly Pumpkin ES Bam at Washington Commons (Michigan beers fo' life). Back at the apartment had a Abita Save Our Shore, a Laughing Dog (a brewery from Iowa! a first for me!) Devil Dog Imperial IPA, and a Brooklyn Pennant. This is a lot of beer drinking, I know, but Greg was in town so all bets were off. Epic update tomorrow (or potentially Tuesday, what with me having another double date thing tomorrow night).

5 Boroughs, 5 Beers, 1 Day

2010-10-08T17:08:00.000-04:00

So that's the tentative plan. We'll be getting to Staten Island around 1 and moving on from there if anyone wants to join us. You know how to contact me. Also, I'll be updating the twitter feed when we move locations. Technology is nuts. See you chumps tomorrow.

This is My Advanced Legal Research and Writing

2010-10-07T09:52:00.000-04:00

Let's look at my lackluster drinking for the past couple of days: Sunday I had a Long Trail Ale while eating pizza and watching football. You know, on account of being a dood, I guess.

Mexican Monday (not racist! just wait!) I did a fair amount of drinking. Had two Yeunglings (to the chagrin of labor enthusiasts) at City Tavern, then off on a nice double-datey evening to Benny's Burritos (hence the dubbed by Liz "Mexican Monday") where I had a Dos XX which is actually super good. Fun Ryan trivia: the first Dos XX I ever had was at a Mexican restaurant in Amsterdam. That won't be on the test though. Also, there will be no test. After that it was off to a bar whose name I forget where I had a Captain Lawrence Nut Brown Ale. The bar is directly across from Crif Dogs/PDT if that helps. It doesn't? Well not my problem. Next Monday is "Momofuko Monday" which will also involve PDT. I'm pretty excited and also, apparently, made of money. I've been bringing my lunch to work every day though, so don't get on my case, Dad.

Tuesday I ganked a free bottle of Brooklyn Lager from an event on campus, took it home, drank it on my couch, and followed that up with a Brooklyn Pennant that Liz had purchased. Uh, no incites from that night, except that I like free beer, especially when it's actually good beer!

Last night (Wednesday), I had a Blue Point Pumpkin Ale, and that's it! As Liz pointed out to me, ratebeer and beeradvocate hate this beer. I don't get it. Sure, it was a bit thin, but man it had a nice spice smell that really hits you upfront. Sure, the beer itself didn't match the spice nose, but the spice smell upfront really gets you where you need to go, spice-wise. I'm going to say spice, like, seven more times. Spice spice spice. For you math wizards, that was only three times. The point is, this beer had an awesome spice "nose." After that, whatever. People online, as always, need to chill out. I really don't understand the point of wasting precious time to go online to spew negativity about a perfectly fine brewer that is doing its damnedest. Positivity people. Celebrating and all that. Get on it, Also, the label said it was a "pumpkin malt beverage." I'm always a little confused when brewers call something a malt liquor or a malted beverage. Not confused to actually research it, though.

Look at these totals: 1 beer, 4 beers, 2 beers, 1 beer. As you know I need to drink 2.7 a night to keep on pace. Welp, we'll do some catching up this weekend.

Greg gets in this evening. We'll hammer the itinerary for Saturday and put it up Friday. Join us, won't you?

Look at This Photograph

2010-10-03T10:49:00.001-04:00

I do have a funny definition of tomorrow. The problem is, it's been kind of quiet on the Western front. For instance, Wednesday night I went to pub quiz at Franklin Park. Here's all I can think to write about that: their tap system is definitely messed up some how. I went to order myself a Rare Vos and Liz a Coney Island Lager. What I got back was two metallic tasting beers that didn't taste at all like a Rare Vos or a Coney Island Lager. I couldn't even tell which one was supposed to be which. Then I ordered a Duvel. The Duvel tasted, while at least sort of like a Duvel, pretty hoppy. Have you known Duvels to be pretty hoppy? Me neither. After that I ordered a can of Pork Slap. That tasted like it was supposed to. Also, our team the Pen 15 Club finished a disappointing 4th. In fairness, there's only three of us and most other teams had at least 5 people. So if anyone wants to join a bad-ass pub quiz team, hit me up.

Thursday I had...nothing! This will change though. I'm in a kick-ball league that plays every Thursday. Our team pre and post-games with other teams, but I couldn't join this week on account of work/the impending apocalypse storm that was coming. While I drank no beer, I did bust out my good Hudson Baby Bourbon for a drink to celebrate landing an interview that day for my dream job. I was saving that stuff for when I actually get a job, but hey, gotta celebrate while the celebrating's good, you know?

Friday I had a Great Divide Scotch Ale at my apartment, which really might be my favorite scotch ale now. It's seriously very good. Then I had three Simpler Times Lagers at a friend's party. Now, despite what you make think about a dood that runs one of the most boring beer blogs of all time, I don't go to a lot of "cool" parties. I mean I go to parties with my friends that are cool, but I'm barely ever at a party where I don't know the majority of the people. Well, this one on Friday was one of those. People were wearing fedoras! They had a guy DJing the whole night! There was exposed brick wall! It was nuts!

Saturday, well Saturday was a good drinking day where I inadvertently went to the same bar twice. Also, for the first and hopefully last time I went to Greenpoint/Williamsburg twice in one day. See what happened was Liz and I had to go to Greenpoint to pick up some sorbet. That's a weird thing to go out there for, but that was why we were there. We figured since we were out there we'd go on a little bar crawl using our remaining beer coupons for that day. Well we start out at Bar Matchless, where I get a Brooklyn Weisse. Then we called it a day and go home. Some crawl right? Well I get a call from a friend who just moved to Greenpoint and he wants to do a bar crawl out there. How can I say no? So I meet up with him at...Bar Matchless, where I get a Brooklyn Lager. From there we move to Manhattan Inn where it took us about 20 minutes to get the bar tender to get us beers (we each got a Victory Donnybrook Stout). I might be the first person to ever say, "I did not like Manhattan Inn." Given that I didn't say that then, I just mentioned it, I'll say it now. I did not like Manhattan Inn. Logic. It will get you every time. From there we went to the Turkey Nest where they serve you something like 32 oz styrofoam cups full of beer. I go up and order a Brooklyn Lager. It costs me 8 bucks. Not an absurd amount for 32 oz, but apparently their macros go for 4. Unsure if upgrading to a Brooklyn Lager was worth doubling the price. After that we head to Charleston, which has stopped serving free pizza with their beer, but they still have a sweet juke box and the prices are still cheap. I have a Lagunitas IPA and a Six Point Sweet Action. Then I went home!

You may also been waiting for the announcement that I promised in the last post. Well here it is. Next Saturday, October 9th, I will be doing an epic 5 Boroughs, 5 Beers, 1 Day Bar Crawl. The goal is to drink a beer in every borough in of New York City, that's Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, the Bronx, and Staten Island, in the course of 24 hours using only public transportation. Since I'm not going to be starting till about noon, that's really a beer in every borough in less than 12 hours. I wanted to post an itinerary so if anyone cared to join me for any part of it, you'd be welcome to, but I don't have one yet. Anyone know of any good bars in Staten Island by the ferry stop? If you did, that would be much appreciated.

Total Beers: 781
Where I Should Be: 753.424

Recitation of Facts

2010-09-29T20:23:00.001-04:00

*THERE ARE A MILLION TYPOS AND THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE IN THIS POST, BUT THEN AGAIN WHAT ELSE IS NEW? I WOULD NORMALLY FIX THEM BUT I DO NOT CARE RIGHT NOW. ENJOY AN UNCENSORED, UNEDITED LOOK AT A RARE, RAW POST. YOU'VE ENJOYED THE SAUSAGE THAT IS THIS BLOG. NOW ENJOY LEARNING HOW ITS MADE. BY TYPING, STREAM OF CONSCIOUS, AND APPARENTLY NOW IN ALL CAPS.*

Wellity, wellity, wellity. D.C. Check. Virginia. Check. Drinking back stage with rockstars check. So I went on down to the the ol' D.C. Metro Area to visit my friends that I visited in Korea that I haven't seen since...Korea. Normally this would involve a ton of shenanigans. However, Greg came back from over seas with not one, but two broken arms, rendering him slightly incapable of nonsense. So while other trips around the country have been beer-centric, this one was hanging-out-centric, which was perfectly find by me. We started Friday night in D.C. Our senior year of college, Greg and I lived in the greatest apartment ever known to man with four other doods. Here's how cool we were. We started calling ourselves and our apartment the Cool Guys Club. Ok, so that's not that cool, but here's the cool...it stuck. Other people started calling our place the Cool Guys Club, which then became the CGC. People, who weren't us, would legitimately say things to other people, who also weren't us, "Hey, you going to the party tonight at the CGC?" It was sort of like anti-frat house. This is all to say that two of those roommates are now members of pretty well known indie rock band. Their band happened to be playing a show in D.C. that Friday night that Greg, Britney, Liz and I went to. Had a Brooklyn Lager back stage at the venue while catching up with the guys and then a Victory Hop Devil while watching them play. Hey, did you know its hard to drink beer without any arms? Well, according to Greg, it is.

Saturday we milled about Old Town Arlington which is very nice and pleasant to an almost absurd degree. Had a Harpoon IPA with lunch. Greg drank his beer through a straw. Saturday night we hung out at Britney's place and drank a fair amount while playing board games. If I remember correctly, which of course I do, I had 2 Josephbrau (the Trader Joes brand) Kolsches, 1 Josephbrau Oatmeal Stout, and 1 Ommegang Abbey Ale. Ok, so it wasn't a ton of drinking. But did you know that if you've broken both arms and have been living on pain meds for a week, your drinking tolerance goes down? Who knew?

Sunday we bid Greg and Britney adieu, but not before having a Bells Two Hearted Ale (casked!) at a pretty awesome pizza/beer place. Then jumped on a bus and went home. At home I had a Great Divide Porter, a Great Divide Scotch Ale, and a Long Trail Ale.

Monday I had a Great Divide Samauri and a Great Divide Titan IPA.

Tuesday I had nothing!

Look, I had a job interview today for one of those jobs that pays you to do stuff on a full time basis. What're they called? Actual jobs. Right. Anyway, I can't tell you how much energy I sinked into this thing. All my charm and creative juices are gone, man, gone. I thought about delaying this, but it is what it is. I'm going to go to Pub Quiz now and post an announcement and, hopefully, an accompanying itinerary tomorrow.

Hugs and kisses,
This Guy

Numbers: Tomorrow

Outsourcing

2010-09-24T10:49:00.000-04:00

Always with the house keeping. I didn't drink any beers last night, so we can all calm down about that. I'm posting because I'm off to Fairfax, VA/Washington D.C. tonight and thought I would give you heads up about the lack of posts this weekend. When I get back, I will have drank a beer in the following states this year: New York, Arizona, Michigan, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and D.C., so that's pretty cool. I'm going to try and sneak in at least one or two more states there before the year ends.

Also, as of this moment (ok, not this moment, but more like in 6 or so hours) My 1000 Beer Year is sending someone to Germany to report on Oktoberfest. Ok, that's not entirely true. Friend of the Blog (FOB) Eric is heading to Oktoberfest and just to rub it in my face that he's going and I'm not has offered to write something up for this ol' blog when he gets back. I'm pretty excited about it. Also, I'm pretty excited that the best written/most interesting thing that will probably ever go up on this blog won't be written by me. You guys should get AMPED.

I'll be back on Sunday. See you chumps then.

100 Days Left of Beer Drinking

2010-09-23T18:50:00.002-04:00

What the hell happened here. I turn my back for like one second and I already have a huge backup in terms of drinking days. I mean I posted seven thousand weeks ago, and then posted an African beer post, and that's it. There has been a TON of beer drinking since then (well not a ton, but a significant amount). I hate to do this, but it's time for another "Numbers only" post. Regrettable, I know, but if I kid myself into thinking that I'm going to provide my usual array of insightful commentary then I will never post again. So here we go!

Last Wednesday: The 3 Africa beers (3)
Last Thursday: 4 Sam Adams Octoberfests at the apartment (4)
Last Friday: 1 Sixpoint Brownstone at Hot Bird, 1 MGD High Life and 1 Red Stripe at Woodwork, 1 Ommegang Wit at the Branded Saloon (4)
Last Saturday: 2 Cigar City Jai Alai IPAs at the apartment (2)
Last Sunday: 1 Great Divide Samurai Rice Ale, 1 Great Divide Claymore Scotch Ale, 1 Great Divide St. Bridget's Port, 1 Long Trail Pale Ale, and 1 Long Trail Belgian Ale at the apartment while watching football for 12 hours (5)
Last Monday: 1 Six Point White Ale, 1 Ommegang Rare Vos, both at Franklin Park (2)
Last Tuesday: Nuthin!
Last Night: 1 Great Divide Titan IPA, 1 Cigar City Jai Alai IPA, both at the apartment (2)

That's a lot of beer drinking and I honestly do have quite a bit to say about a fair amount of it. But, alas, I'm late for a meeting!*

But before I leave you, I'll put up some sweet Simpsons clips dealing with drinking, to, you know, keep the masses happy.

Total Beers: 755 (hey over 3/4 of the way done!)
Where I Should Be: 726.027 (Hey, yesterday marked day 265 of beer drinking, meaning only 100 more days to go!)

*Not really.

Making A Difference Through Beer

2010-09-21T23:21:00.000-04:00

Negligence, thy name is Ryan. In this case, the negligence is two fold. First: about two months whole months ago, my Uncle Chris shipped me a second round of beers from Africa. I did not drink them until last Wednesday. As you may recall, I had an extended vacation in there and I didn't want to drink them until I could put up a decent post about them, so I had to wait until I finished updating about the vacation, which as you know took about a month. Second: as you may have noticed, today is Tuesday. I drank them almost a whole week ago and yet no post is up. Well, as I rectified the first act of negligence, now shall I rectify the second. Ryan Responsibility is..."The Rectifier," Tuesdays at 8 on TNT.

As an initial matter, the flavors of the following beers may or may not be altered by my sophisticated aging process. I have no idea when exactly Chris purchased the beers, but I do know that he flew with them from Kenya to America. Then sometime after he arrived in the States, he shipped them from Michigan, I believe. Then they arrived at my apartment. Then two months later I drank them. So, it really could have been upwards of six months from purchase to consumption. If I had a time machine, I would like to age a beer a year, go back in time that year and drink it side by side an un-aged version of that beer. Oh sure, you can age a beer and then compare it to the brewery's fresh release of that beer, but it's not the same. Like right now I'm aging a 2009 Bethlehem Brew Works Rude Elf which I intend on drinking side by side with a 2010 Bethlehem Brew Works Rude Elf. But you know what would be spectacular? If I could age a 2009 Rude Elf and taste it side by side with an un-aged 2009 Rude Elf. Stupid linear nature of time and all of that. So with that in mind, these beers had been slightly aged.

I'll discuss the beers in the order I drank them because it actually makes sense to do so this time. First up, Sierra Amber. Once again, this isn't to be mistaken for a Sierra Nevada beer. It's the Amber from the fine people at the Nairobian (is that what you call people from Nairobi?) brewery Sierra. I'd previously had their porter which was perfectly serviceable. Chris had told me that the Porter was Sierra's best offering so when I got the Amber, I had expected a perfectly drinkable, but unspectacular, amber ale. What I got was a legitimately delicious, really caramel-y, really sweet (but not in a sickly way) amber ale. Seriously, this beer was great. If I had to compare it to something you might have had (I don't have to but I'm going to anyways) I'd say it tastes a lot like Triple Carmelite, which is to say, amazing. It doesn't quite have the alcohol content as a Triple Carmelite, but it does have that robust caramel taste. Also, I hate myself a little for using the word robust here. Unlike the porter, the amber was anything but thin. I don't know if my "cellaring" the beer added to its greatness, but I'd sure like to find out. Suffice it to say, I was surprised. This beer isn't good for an African beer. It's a good beer period.

The next beer I drank was a Nile Special Lager from Uganda. This beer brings up an interesting juxtaposition between beer critics/reviewers and person-on-the-street beer drinkers. If you google this beer, you'll find a couple of interesting things. First, beer reviewers hate it. All your beer review sites give it low grades. If you scroll through the comments on beeradvocate, you'll find people saying its worse than your Buds and Coors. Second, backpackers love it. It has its own facebook fan page. Every backpacker that has been through Africa raves about it as the best beer they've ever had. They can't wait to get back to Uganda to drink another Nile Special. I kid you not, it seems to generate the kind of adulation reserved for jam bands (although I suspect that the venn diagram of "Backpackers in Africa" and "Jam Band Enthusiasts" would be largely overlapping). To force a metaphor, the debate over Nile Special Lager evokes a certain Congress v. Generals-on-the-ground debate over war policy/strategy. Oh sure, Congress/Beer Reviewers, enjoy your view from those ivory towers but we're the ones that know the conditions on the ground. Well sorry, Beer Critics, but beer drinking doesn't necessitate civilian oversight. The drinkers have won out. I'm here to report, this beer is good. Honestly, truly, very good. To put it in perspective, I liked it more than about half of Schmaltz's line (He-brew and Coney Island included), so I can imagine that if you're traveling through Africa and come across this gem of a beer, it's going to stand out. It's one of those beers that makes you wish summer was longer because this really needs to be drank out doors on sunny summer afternoon. Even more shocking, that's two for two so far on excellent beers from Africa. Again, not even great contextually. Just great. Also, as you noticed if you clicked that link, their slogan is "Making a Difference Through Beer." I like that. A lot.

Speaking of sweet slogans, the third beer I had was the venerable White Bull Lager, which I documented at length in my previous African beers post. Ok, so White Bull Lager doesn't stand up so well taste-wise to the prior two beers, but its ability to make me super sappy and emotional is off the charts. You can't drink a White Bull Lager without stopping to think, "Holy shit, I am drinking a beer made in Southern Sudan." It's phenomenal. The bottle that my uncle sent me had the back label printed on upside down which makes me believe that one day the bottle will be worth more than those weird misprinted stamps or coins everyone (everyone?) is always going on about. True to form, when I drank the White Bull Lager, I gathered everyone's (Liz's) attention and make a lengthy speech about the magnitude of the occasion and what it meant to be sitting in a cushy Brooklyn apartment drinking a quite drinkable beer from Southern Sudan. We drank, of course, to Peace and Prosperity. Well that's not exactly right. You drink to something that has passed or has yet to be. White Bull Lager celebrates peace and prosperity in its existing form. So we celebrated Peace and Prosperity. I'd like to have that attitude with every beer I drink because the fact that I'm able to drink a tasty brew means that there is at least some modicum of peace and prosperity happening in my life/in the world, and as White Bull Lager reminds me, I don't celebrate that enough. My 1000 Celebrations of Peace and Prosperity Year. If it rhymed, the title would already be changed.

Gotta Keep the Devil Way Down in the Hole

2010-09-15T15:48:00.000-04:00

The beer drinking has been pretty light around here. This is the round up: Monday I had a Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale at Soda with dinner (we tried to go to a new place out on Vanderbilt but turns out it's not too vegetarian friendly. What else is new?) Last night I had a 21st Amendment Back in Black on the couch. Woo! But here's what I want to talk about. More like here's what I want to show you.

I'm marginally convinced that Bunk from the Wire and Garrett Oliver, Brooklyn Brewery Brewmaster are the same person. Here's an exchange involving one of them:

Guy A: You know what they call a guy that pays that much attention to his clothes don't you?
Guy B: A grown-up.

Guy B is either Garrett Oliver or Bunk. You decide!

I don't really know where I was going with this. I just wanted to put a bunch of pictures of Garrett Oliver and Bunk next to each other to see if it would be as weird as I'd imagine. It is! See you tomorrow with an African beer post!

Total Beers: 733
Where I Should Be: 704.109

Two Bad Neighbors

2010-09-13T20:42:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the day between posts here. But let's see where I last left you. Saturday during the day, Liz and I took advantage of the weather and strolled on out to the Gate. While there I had a Jolly Pumpkin Calabaza Blanca. You might recall that I went to the Jolly Pumpkin brewery in Ann Arbor a short while ago. This was the first time I had seen any Jolly Pumpkin outside of Michigan, so that was cool. Their Calabaza Blanca was, you guessed it, kind of sour, but still super delicious and really, really refreshing. This got me to thinking: why don't breweries have a signature taste? I mean I know why, but bare with me for a moment. I guess this isn't a normative thing, but there are very few breweries that you could blindly taste one of their beers and know it came from that specific brewery. I mean if you had a super hoppy beer you could maybe guess Dogfish Head or if you had a super thin and water beer of any style you could guess Saranac. I guess I just thought it would be cool if Jolly Pumpkin made a bunch of different styles of beer but purposefully made each beer nice and sour, or as their website says "refreshingly tart," so when you drank, let's say, a sour Imperial Stout, you'd know it was from Jolly Pumpkin.

Also at the Gate I had a Cigar City Humidor Gruit. This is going to sound crazy, but that was my first Cigar City beer. From what I gather, their Humidor Series is a line of their normal beers they age in cedar casks. Gruit itself is pretty crazy. It's made with no hops! I'd go on about it, but just check out this article and inform yourselves! Suffice it to say, it was also very good and very drinkable. But then again, I think the weather made just about anything drinkable. If I had a barleywine at the Gate that day I'd probably be talking about how I could session the eff out of it. In other news, I like drinking beer outdoors in 72 degree sunny weather.

Then on Sunday I watched football, ate nachos (really!), and drank beer (also really!). I had a Mother's Milk Stout and a 21st Amendment Back in Black. Neither day was really a heavy drinking day, but the beer, weather, and football was quality (ok maybe not the football as I was watching the Bengal's game). All in all, a good couple of days!

Total Beers: 731
Where I Should Be: 698.630

Announcements!

2010-09-11T21:23:00.002-04:00

Let's keep this gravy train rolling. Yesterday I had a Brooklyn Lager at home on the couch. Departed for the East Village. Had a Bud (didn't buy it!) at Holiday Cocktail Lounge, one of the more infamous dives of NYC. Let me explain for a second why I had a Bud. First, this is a dive amongst dives so the selection is limited. Second, a bottle of Heineken was 8 bucks! 8! A shot of whiskey and a Bud (a "Holiday Happy Meal") was only 7. That's simple math right there. Afterwards we went over to the ol' standby Lunasa where I had three Brooklyn Lagers. Suffice it to say, we did Fashion Night Out right. And by that I mean not at all. I would like to report (not really) that we spent the evening hobnobbing with Kanye at some boutique but I don't have any money and don't care about fashion!

I want to prep you all for a couple things real quick. First, sometime between now and the end of October I will be doing a 5 Boroughs, 5 Beers, 1 Day tour, meaning I will attempt to drink a beer in every borough in NYC in the course of one day (which, let's be real, will be a 12 hour time span). If you're interested in joining any part of it, I will keep you posted. Second, I think I have a plan for my 1000th beer. This is in no way set in stone, but I thought I would give everyone a heads up. It's probably, if all goes to plan, will go down on December 19th at the Brooklyn Brewery. Again, formal announcement to come soon, but if anyone cared to join me for this momentous occasion, I thought ample heads up would be appreciated. It's not? Well fine then. Be that way.

Total Beers: 727
Where I Should Be: 693.150

The Day After Yesterday

2010-09-10T20:19:00.001-04:00

Would you look at that. I'm back a whopping one day later and with a very moderate update. Last night I had a 21st Amendment Back in Black on my couch after an epic run, as science has proven beer is better for you than water. The Back in Black is their new limited release canned beer. It's a black IPA. Not as great as the immortal Monks Blood, but pretty good! Then went to dinner at this dope South African place in Forte Green called Madiba. Didn't have a beer there but it might have been one of the best meals I've ever had, so if you're in the area, check it out. From there we went to Woodwork on Vanderbilt for the first. It's a soccer bar, but they were nice enough to put on good ol' fashioned American football for me. There I had a Troegg's Pale Ale, and a Victory Prima Pils. Liz got two red stripes. You know what our final tab was for the four beers? 14 dollars! In NYC! That's nuts! Anyway, then I went home, had a Brooklyn Lager, and started the 3rd season of the Wire. All in all, a great night and a short post!

Total Beers: 722
Where I Should Be: 690.410

Numbers! So Many Numbers!

2010-09-09T10:54:00.002-04:00

So this is it. I'm going to do a number dump here of all the beers I have drank since coming back from Canada. And then, THEN, it's numbers time. This is kind of exciting because I really have no clue what the total number will look like. Also, I have done the numbers in OVER A MONTH. That's just crazy. Also, there's a lot of stuff worth talking about that's going to have to just flat out get cut for time. I may make an interjection here and there, but obviously when you're dropping three weeks worth of beer drinking numbers in one post, space is limited. Also, just to jog your memory, I'm going to go ahead and post my whole list of beers I've had since Michigan with the total beers drank in parentheses at the end of each day to help me count them. Also, the parenthetical numbers take into account my new sampler conversion. Also, here's the list:

8/6 – Mission Street Brown Ale at the Hotel (1)

8/7 – Library Something Porter at the Farm, Keewanaw Brown Ale at Hill Top, Keewanaw Widow Maker, Blatz at Farm (4)

8/8 – 1 Keewnaw Brown at Farm, 2 Sam Adams and 1 Old Milwaukee at Grandma’s Party, 3 Blatz and 1 Keewanaw Brown back at Farm (8)

8/9 – 1 Keewanaw Pickaxe Blonde at Ambassador, 10 samples at the Library, 1 Library IPA and 1 Library Keewanaw Gold from Growlers at the Farm, 1 Blatz at Farm (7)

8/10 – Budweiser at bowling, Celis Grand Cru, Dundee Stout, 4 Strohs at Farm (7)

Here's where I went to Alpena.

8/11 – Bells Oberon (1)

8/12 – 2 Bells Oberons, 1 Bells Two Hearted Ale (all at lake) (3)

8/13 – 2 Short’s Brewing Pandemonium Ales (all at lake) (2)

8/14 – 1 Short’s on Boat, 1 Northern Peak Archangel at the Portage, 1 Short’s back at lake (3)

...and to Ann Arbor

8/15 – Grizzly Peak Flight 9, Jolly Pumpkin Bam Biere (really sour farmhouse ale, waitress kept saying everything was sour, I didn’t believe her, but she was right) (4)

8/16 – 1 Two Hearted Ale, 1 Bell’s Amber Ale in Molly’s back yard (2)

8/17 – 1 Ann Arbor Brewing Co. ESB and 1 Anniversary, Blue Tractor Sampler 6, Jolly Pumpkin Bam Noire (5)

...and back to NYC

8/18 – Victory Whirlwind Wit (1)

8/19 – Victory WW, Buttnut Can, 2 Founders Pale Ales at Franklin Park (4)

...and to Canada

8/20 – Griffon Blonde, Griffon Rouse at bar that musician owns, 2 B (something candian) Rouse and 1 Blonde at other bar, 1664 at irish pub, mystery beer at punk/goth club (7)

8/21 – 2 Molson Drys in hotel, Moosehead at Crobar, IPA, Scotch Ale, Honey Brown at Brutopia, Stella at dance club (7)

...and back to NYC. Here's where beer drinking I haven't talked about begins.

8/25 – 1 Sierra Nevada Tumbler at bierkraft, 3 Blue Point Oatmeal Stouts at apartment (4)

8/26 – 1 Bark Red Ale (1)

8/27 – 1 BK Detonation, 1 BK Pennant, 1 BK EIPA at the Brooklyn Brewery (3)

I wanted to jump in here and say that the Brooklyn Detonation Ale is out of control. It's like the Blast but amped up times 10.

8/28 – 1 River Horse Triple Horse and 2 Speakeasy White Lightnings at Rachel’s, 1 BK Lager at Lunasa. (4)

8/30 – 3 Defiant IPAs out of a Growler at home, 1 Molson Dry out of a can at home (4)

9/1 – 1 Sam Adams Blackberry Wit at Home (1)

9/2 – 2 Steamwhistle Pils at Home (2)

Steam Whistle Brewing Company is microbrewery out of Toronto. My in-laws went and brought me back a six-pack of their pilsner, which is, coincidentally, all that they make. It was pretty good and tasted, I thought, more like a golden ale than a pilsner, but still very good. Apparently this stuff was all over Toronto, which is cool because it was definitely better than the stuff that was all over Montreal. I blame the French. Does it seem weird to you that these 2 beers get a whole paragraph while I'm glossing over everything else? Well, when you bring me beers, you get rewarded (also, just so my uncle doesn't think I've forgotten about him, the next three Africa beers are sitting in my fridge and I will probably drink them tomorrow).

9/3 – 2 Yuenglings at City Bar, 2 Red Stripes at Happy Ending, 1 Blue Point at Home Sweet Home, 1 Beer at some bar? (6)

9/5 – 1 Coney Island Albino Python at Coney Island Freak Show (1)

I drank a bottle of the Coney Island Albino Python while actually watching the snake-charmer on the label of the bottle perform, which was pretty interesting.

9/6 – 1 Coney Island Lager at Franklin Park (1)

9/7 – 2 Brooklyn Lagers, 1 21^st Amendment Back in Black, 1 Yuengling Black and Tan on campus during draft, 1 Brooklyn Lager back at home (5)

9/8 – 2 Six Point Bark Red Ales at Bark, 2 Rare Vos, 1 Founders Pale Ale at Franklin Park during Trivia (5)

And that's the list. You might notice some days are missing. Well, I didn't drink beers those days so get off my back. Time to do some math. Here we go.

Total beers I have drank since I last did the numbers: 103

Total Beers: 718

Where I Should Be: 687.671 (Still ahead! I thought I would be further ahead, but I did take a considerable amount of days off. Well, 31 beers ahead, I'll take it!)

Well folks, tomorrow we get back to the day to day stuff. Man I am looking forward to writing normal sized posts and updating more regularly. See you then!

Just A Small Town Girl

2010-09-04T17:49:00.001-04:00

And then there was Canada. And then there was the two weeks or so since I've been back. We'll get to those two weeks tomorrow in a post that will literally be me copying and pasting my word doc. Hey, but before I went to Canada, I was in NYC for two nights (I got back from Michigan on a Wednesday evening, went to Canada Friday morning). On the first night I got back I had a Victory Whirlwind Wit at home, the next night I had a Victory Whirlwind Wit and a Butternut Weiss at home and 2 Founders Pale Ales at Franklin Park with doods planning our Canada trip.

So while I was in Michigan, the guys decided we were going to go to Montreal for a weekend. Why? I still have no idea. It was essentially a weekend long bachelor party but none of were getting married. Also, I don't have any pictures because let's be real, I'm not taking pictures of our shenanigans. The record on the weekend is a little shaky. I mean the numbers are legit, but there are a few cases where I don't remember beer or bar names. After my Michigan posts dropped, my dad marveled at my ability to remember all of those beers I drank. Well, here's the thing, I didn't actually retain the memories of all those beers. After everyday, I would write down in a word doc what I drank and where I drank it so I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting beers. In Montreal, I didn't have my laptop, nor did I have my phone. My other trick is text myself what beers I've drank when I'm out at bars, and being phone-less, I couldn't even do that. So, therefore, in conclusion, with that said, as such, I've got the numbers on lock down, but the specific details, well they get a little fuzzy here and there.

Our trip began fine enough with the border guy asking not if we had any weed in the car, but whether we smoked weed, which was kind of weird. He went through the laundry list of items that I guess border agents are supposed to ask, and then at the end, just asked if we smoked weed. I'm 80% sure he was asking because we seemed like cool guys he wanted to hang with that evening, but we said no and went on our merry way! The first beers I drank in Canada were at this vegetarian bar/restaurant Casa del Popolo that the singer from Mars Volta or something owns. Had a Griffon Blonde and a Griffon Rouse there, both were just ok! The thing about this trip to Montreal was our planning literally ended at going to that restaurant when we got there. From there we figured we'd just ask around and go where the wind took us. Let's see how that worked out!

A quick interjection here. My near and dear friend Saeed told us a wonderful Iranian proverb while we were on the trip. "Cat can't grab the meat. Says, 'Piff piff, it's off.'" His American translation was, you know when a guy goes and tries to pick up a girl and strikes out and then says that the girl was beat or he didn't want to pick her up anyway? Well that's a cat that can't grab the meat, so he's saying "Piff piff, it's off." Now I'm not saying we weren't a group of five stone-cold lady killers, but there were a few times where the cats couldn't grab the meat, as it were. So we're at Casa del Popolo, looking to head to another bar, so two of my cohorts approach a group of ladies to get a recommendation of where to go next. Apparently, apparently, these ladies don't speak English. Now I know we're in Quebec here, but I'm about 90% certain that all Quebecois (is that the term for people from Quebec?) speak English. So when the guys come back and tell me this, I'm pretty sure these cats could not grab the meat and these girls were just messing with them. But this story takes a shocking turn later!

So we meander out of the bar. It's still pretty early (like 10 or so) so we find a dive-y looking sports bar to grab a couple of pitchers and watch awful Canadian football while we wait for things to pick up. We ordered a pitcher of Bsomethingcanadian Blonde and Bsomethingcanadian Rouse. I had one of the former and two of the latter. Then it was off to hit the town! Unfortunately, the part of the town we were hitting was smack dab in the middle of McGill University and only had super-expensive, shall we say, tre-douchey night clubs. So we stubbled into an insanely over priced faux-Irish pub. Canada has those too! I get a 1664 (that's a beer). While this place kind of sucked, it did provide two very interesting insights about Montreal. First, Montrealian people do not care for Journey. There was a pretty competent, general cover band playing the bar. They closed their set with Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." Now anyone who has ever been to a bar in America knows that whenever that song is played, something akin to this happens:

People go nuts. Everyone will stop what they're doing and just start singing along. I don't know why this happens, but no one can deny that it does in fact happen. Doesn't matter what type of bar. You play that song any time after 10 pm anywhere and people will go nuts. You know what happened in this faux-Irish bar when they played it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. People kept on conversing as if there wasn't even a band playing. It was so crazy. This led me to the second interesting insight about Montreal. Girls in Montreal do not speak any English. There is your shocking twist to the previous story as well. After the song was over, I approached a group of girls to ask them about why no one went nuts for the song and if they knew any place we could go around there. None of them spoke more English than you would learn in an English 101 course. I mean obviously this cat can grab the meat (ok, I'm done with that phrase now, as it now just sounds disgusting), so these girls clearly weren't just messing with me. So there you have it. Despite living in Canada, Montreal women do not speak English. I believe my sample size is large enough to state that as a definitive fact. After that bar, we go to, let's say a place. Then we leave that place and a few of us go this goth-punk club and watch a pretty good French-Canadian hardcore band. I don't know why I was shocked that Montreal had something akin to a "scene," as its a major city and all. I have a beer, but for the life of me can't remember what it was. Also, I could have sworn that I heard the band covering Minor Threat's "Straight Edge," in French, but they were also chugging whiskey by the bottle, so maybe not!

On the walk home I found out another interesting tidbit about Montreal. It is filled with prostitutes. Disgusting, disgusting prostitutes, that will proposition you in ways and for things that you would not imagine. For instance, you'd imagine a normal prostitute would say something like, "Hey boys, do you want 'A'?" 'A' being the first and most obvious thing in the lexical order of what prostitutes might offer. In Montreal, prostitutes would say things like, "Hey boys, do you want 'n'?" meaning that they have already passed the A through Z of sexual things a prostitute might offer, started over at 'a' and made it all the way to 'n' and decided that 'n' was what they should offer from the get go. I'm not saying I know anything about prostitutes, so maybe this is common place, but I would imagine that a normal prostitute would offer me 'A' and I'd have to artfully negotiate up to 'n'. Nope. Not in Montreal. So there's that!

The next day we woke up and summited Mount Royal. That's not a euphemism for anything. We really did climb to the top of a mountain. Then we went to an art museum. But none of that has anything to with beer (then again neither did the prostitute story, but it's my blog so we can all deal with things). After the art museum, I drank two Molson Drys in the hotel, then we went to the casino where I came out a whole loonie ahead, then to dinner and then to downtown! First stop was Crobar, which we hurried into to get out of the rain. It was filled with 17 year olds and over priced beer, so I downed a Moosehead Lager and got the hell out of there. Next stop was Brutopia, an honest-to-God (happy parents?) microbrewery in Montreal. I had their IPA, their Scotch Ale, and their Honey Brown. The Scotch Ale was really good, the other two were just ok. Then it was to a dance club! If my calculations are correct, the Montreal population is something like 30% women ages 19 and under and 70% guys of all ages. These numbers do not make for good dance clubs. But we persisted. I drank a Stella. Saeed was the only one who had any sort of luck talking with girls. Dave and I danced on some stage till some girls, to the delight of the million doods in the place, gently pushed us off and took over. Then we went to a place I'd rather just not talk about where I drank some beers I can't count toward my total anyway, on account of them being macrobeers. Then we went back to the hotel at about 3 in the morning! Then we left Canada! All in all, Canada reaffirmed my belief in free market capitalism, the English language, and the superiority of the good ol' U.S. of A. USA! USA! USA! USA!

Do You Like Nachos? Do You Like Football?

2010-08-30T19:42:00.000-04:00

We're almost there. Believe you me, I want to go back to day to day updates (and post the numbers!) just as bad as you guys want me to. Which is to say, I mean, sort of. But first things first, let's finish up with Michigan!

After a whirlwind tour of the U.P. and the upper part of the L.P., Liz and I parted ways with my family and set off on our own to Ann Arbor. Well not really on our own, we were staying with our friend Molly. I have to say, Ann Arbor is awesome. Like, really, really awesome. At the end of our four day jaunt, Liz was ready to declare NYC as the worst city on earth and set up shop in a Midwestern college town. Here's something awesome: Ann Arbor has four, FOUR, microbreweries! We went to all of them! And I remembered to take a lot of pictures! And they all turned out super grainy because they were taken with my phone!

When we first arrived, Molly had a nice itinerary outlined for us. For our first night, we went to the place she thought had the best food and some of the best beer. So congratulations, Grizzly Peak, you have the best food out of the Ann Arbor brewpubs! And yes, the food was awesome. I had a mushroom burger which actually tasted mushroomy! Normally mushroom burgers taste like mush, but not this one, so nicely done guys. I was originally going to order just a pint, but then my own wife shamed me into ordering a flight of all nine beers. Here's a picture:

And for good measure, here's a picture of the list of beers:

What I liked about the Michigan breweries, which I hadn't seen elsewhere, was they wrote the list of beers for their flights on coasters. I thought it was clever, but in case you couldn't tell by me liking just about 98% of the beers that appear here, I'm easily impressed. I would again like to say that my common complaints about flights apply here as well. Can't really recall much about all of the beers, but once again, I found myself really enjoying their Gold. Also, their hibiscus ale was really awesome, floral (not really hop-floral) if that makes sense and actually hibiscus-y! Also, their rye ale was really good despite not really tasting like rye.

After dinner and beers at Grizzly Peak, we went to the place that Molly said had the best beers in Ann Arbor, Jolly Pumpkin. They didn't have a flight option, so I was forced to discuss the beers with the waitress (figuring we were only staying for one, which actually proved to be the case). I say forced, because an uninformed server might be one of the most frustrating things on earth. Our server was super friendly, but she kept on describing every beer as "sour." And by every beer, I literally mean every beer. Our IPA is pretty sour. Our farmhouse ale has that sour taste but it's not over powering. Everything was sour. I ordered their Jolly Pumpkin Bam Biere, their farmhouse ale. The waitress left and I discussed with the table how either 1) The waitress, to once again paraphrase my dad, "didn't know shit about beer," or 2) The waitress had some mental lapse and kept on saying sour instead of hoppy. Turns out I was wrong. All of their beers were legitimately sour. Sour in a good way, but sour nonetheless. So I am sorry, waitress, for doubting your descriptions. It was short sighted of me and I promise never to be crass again!

The next night we had a nice little cookout, in a backyard no less!, where I had a Bell's Amber Ale and a Bell's Two Hearted Ale. Moving on!

The next, and final, evening in Ann Arbor, we achieved what has been called by both Henry and Gerald Ford (no relation...that I know of) as the Triple Crown, hitting three breweries in a single evening. First we hit up the Ann Arbor Brewing Company. The Ann Arbor Brewing Company, or as Chris Weber called it when he went to Michigan, Randy Jackson Presents AABC, did not offer flights so I went with their Anniversary Ale, a high-ABV belgian ale. A few things about this beer. First, check out this picture of it:

That is no trick photography. That beer is really that cloudy. Ridiculously cloudy. But the thing about it? It doesn't taste it at all. From the looks of it you'd imagine it would be like drinking bread but it drank like a regular (and not all that spectacular) belgian ale. But the actual beer aside, their beer menu was divided into two parts, normal beers and strong beers. Strong beers they would only serve in 10 oz glasses because, as their menu said, they didn't want their customers to inadvertently drink too much of them and get housed. I forget the exam wording on the menu, but it came across as super patronizing. But the really funny thing? The cut off was 7.0%. Like, there was a beer on the "normal" list, which you could get a 22 oz glass of, that was 7.0%, but there were two beers on the "strong" list that were 7.5%, meaning you could only get them in 10 oz glasses. Weird and also pointless! I get that high ABV beers are generally served in smaller sizes, but don't say you're doing it to protect your customers and don't do it arbitrarily! All that aside, much like everything in Ann Arbor, AABC was pretty awesome. Also, I drank one of the ESBs, which I remember being good.

Then it was off to the 4th microbrewery, Blue Tractor. Blue Tractor is weird in that it's primarily a BBQ joint that just sort of happens to brew their own beer. And it really does seem incidental to their operation. I saw where they brewed their beer on my way to the restroom and it did seem like an after thought. Here's the picture:

Anyway, they DID have samplers, I was the only one that ordered one. I'll post a picture when I have room! The sampler came in a muffin tin which was pretty clever. I thought I was being clever taking the picture with the coaster/list of beers on it, but now I can't read the list and I can't remember any of the beers names! I know the beers were all pretty standard, there was a brown ale in their for sure, and no IPAs (they were out of their IPA). Funny (not true!) story. Molly wanted the IPA, they said they were out but she should have X beer (I say X because I forget what it was) because it tastes the most like an IPA. I get the sample. The X beer is the least hoppy beer they have! This waitress ACTUALLY didn't know shit about beer! How's about that! Anyway, probably the least impressive beers out of all four breweries there, but that's like saying Jackie Brown is Tarantino's least impressive film. So what? It's still great! Here's a picture of the sampler:

At this point in the evening, the ladies were ready to pack it in. But nay, I said, nay! Molly's partner (a dood, but saying boyfriend sounds weird and Molly herself kept on referring to everyone else's boyfriends or girlfriends as his or her partner and I thought that was cool!) is a big beer fanatic and he said Jolly Pumpkin had the best beer in Ann Arbor. I didn't want to short change them, having had only one of their beers, so we went back. I had their Jolly Pumpkin Bam Noire, a super sour and super hoppy beer. It was delicious.

And so ends our Michigan trip! Since coming home, Liz has talked nonstop about wanting to move out to Ann Arbor, but it turns out that Michigan not having any jobs isn't exactly a myth. But thanks for the memories and the beer Michigan! Sorry you're broke! I'll try to help your cause by buying as much Avery beer as I can out here. Any little bit helps I guess. Tomorrow: Montreal debauchery. Then it's back to normal. We're almost there!

Presque Isle's Haunted Light House

2010-08-28T18:30:00.001-04:00

In stark contrast to my time in the U.P., my time in the upper lower peninsula, or I guess I should say the upper part of the lower peninsula, was decidedly more laid back. Not to say that the U.P. is super stressful, but my grandparents' place on Grand Lake near Alpena is the definition of relaxing (except for the meals being at extremely specific times, but we can let that slide). The week was spent laying by the lake, water skiing, reading, getting ridonculously sunburnt (which you would never know based on my complete lack of complaining), and playing the occasional game of euchre. Additionally, as opposed to being packed to the brim with all sorts of family members like the farm, at the lake it was just my immediate family, my one uncle, and my grandparents. Suffice it to say, my highest beer total for a given day at the lake was 3. So instead of doing an event by event break down, I'll just post my beer list for lake and then talk a little bit about a couple of the beers. Here's a copy-and-paste from my word doc I kept while I was there:

8/11 – Bells Oberon

8/12 – 2 Bells Oberons, 1 Bells Two Hearted Ale (all at lake)

8/13 – 2 Short’s Brewing Pandemonium Ales (all at lake)

8/14 – 1 Short’s on Boat, 1 North Peak Archangel at the Portage, 1 Short’s back at lake

As you can see, lots of Bell's action there. While I have read some unfavorable reviews of the Oberon (sorry to keep throwing Jim out here, but his review of Bell's Cherry Stout is spot on), I actually thought it was the absolute perfect summer beer. Although, I would like to try it while not on a boat or lounging by a lake, as probably any beer is the perfect summer beer in that context. Oddly enough, the Bell's Two Hearted Ale says on the bottle that it's perfect for an adventure in the Upper Peninsula, but I only ever had it in the L.P. Suffice it to say it was a really great. How's that for descriptive beer writing?

But let's get to the other two breweries you might not recognize here. I'll start first with the North Peak. North Peak Brewing Company is a brewery out of Traverse City, MI. You might know two things about Traverse City. 1) They have wicked awesome sand dunes (which were once featured on the venerable Tim Allen's Home Improvement!) and 2) Their cherries are quite literally internationally known. I had the North Peak Archangel at local restaurant on the shores of Lake Huron. The Archangel is a cherry wheat beer made with authentic Traverse City cherries, which is pretty cool. So while I've got you here, Jim, if you're looking for a stellar Michigan cherry beer, I would look to the North Peak Archangel. It's super cherry-y but not sickly sweet like Sam Adams' Cherry Wheat can be. All together, both Liz (a notorious cherry wheat hater) and I thought it was great. Plus it comes in a Red Stripe-esq bottle. Check it out:

You can see my grandma in the back there looking just thrilled at how much beer I have consumed at her place. Also, when we were in Ann Arbor, we saw someone wearing a North Peak t-shirt at literally every microbrewery we went to, so I take that as a good sign that their other beers are also pretty good.

And now to the not so good. Went on a beer run on day to Alpena with my dad and Liz. When we got to the beer store we were inundated with Michigan breweries. It was almost overwhelming. We could only get one six-pack (as drinking in large quantities, as you can see, isn't the type of activity that goes down at the lake) and we were sort of rushed in our selection. I immediately ruled out breweries I could get in NY (sorry Arcadia, Founders, and Avery). I finally decided to go with a Short's Brewing Company beer from Elk Rapids, MI. They had a ton to choose from. Being me, I gravitated to the extreme end of the beers, your double-this's, your imperial-thats. There was an interesting looking beer that was describe as a high gravity berry beer, but my wife gently reminded me that other people would be drinking this as well, so I went with a six-pack of Pandemonium Pale Ale. I'm just going to preface this by saying that something could well have been wrong with the bottle. I have never seen a beer pour foamier in my life. As you should know, I am well aware of how to properly pour a beer. This beer pour about 3 inches of foam to ever, let's say, quarter inch of beer. And here's something else: the head NEVER went away. It wasn't even like I could wait for it go down. Nope. It stayed that way making the beer almost undrinkable from a glass. So I tried from the bottle. SAME RESULTS. I would take a sip and then foam would start billowing out from the top of the bottle and would not stop until half the beer was on the table and what remained in the bottle was an inch of beer and four inches of foam. It was insane. I honestly couldn't even give you a proper recall of what this thing tasted like. I could tell you what the foam tasted like (seemed like the beer could have been hoppy), but man. This was nuts. That's how it was all six bottles. I would like to give Short's another shot next time I'm up in MI, but I would also like to know if I had a one-off six pack or if that's actually how their Pandemonium is supposed to act. I hope not! If any of you are in Michigan, grab a six pack and let me know the results.

Tune in tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion of the Michigan Beer Tales where we head to Ann Arbor and I take lots of pictures of flights for some reason!

Roll Out The Barrel!

2010-08-25T17:05:00.001-04:00

Let us return to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Fair be thee warned. These numbers are going to look absurd. Pretty, pretty, pretty absurd. But a little context might put things in order. Context to the large numbers #1: Blatz/Strohs/PBR drink like water when you've been engaging in a pointless drinking challenge for almost a year. Literally, like water. Context #2: I was in the Upper Peninsula for a Responsible (being my last name) Family Reunion/Grandma' 80th Birthday Party. So I've got my wife, my parents, my cousins, my uncle, my grandma. We're all up at this farm. As family reunions tend to go, and I shouldn't be blowing anyone's mind here, evening beers tend to get consumed. Speaking of evening beers, here comes Context #3: A great tradition in the Responsible Family is making giant bonfires. And by giant, I mean pretty giant. Here's a picture of my sister, my cousin, and me (you can guess which is which) sitting before one of our patented bonfires two years ago:

They tend to reach heights of about 15 feet and burn for hours on end (I recognize the needless carbon emissions here, but, uh, sorry earth!). We've been building these at the farm since my cousin and I were ten. It's pretty fun. My cousins and I spend the day dragging giant dead trees across acres of the farm to build these monstrosities. We light them up at night, the "adults" go to bed, and we stay up for hours just shooting the breeze. Well, since we all turned 21(ish, but lets not get technical here), these late night bonfire chats have involved drinking a beer or two. I see my cousins once a year tops so these bonfires are pretty important to me. I've long thought of this blog as being more about beer drinking culture than beer reviews, and I'd really like to write extensively about sharing a few beers with family to the wee hours of the morning around one of these bad boys, but I'm pretty sure the 2003 entry in this article sums it up nicely. Suffice it to say, we had one of these every night at the farm. With those contexts in place, let's get back to the beer drinking.

August 8th was my grandma's 80th birthday party. In preparation of that, I set up one of those bonfires myself (my cousin had yet to arrive) and then rewarded myself with a Keweenaw Widow Maker. Then a shower and off to the party! To set the stage, the party was held here. Yes, there was an accordion player playing polka. Yes, there were a bunch of old people polka-ing. Yes, I polkaed with them. Yes, I drank one Old Milwaukee and 2 Sam Adams (hey, it's a VFW, what're you gonna do?). After the party, we went back to the farm, lit up the fire (not to be mistaken with "lit up at the fire," which didn't go down), and I drank 3 Blazts and 1 Keweenaw Liftbridge. The beer numbers around the fire are a bit iffy because 1) it was hard to tell when one Blatz ended and another began, and 2) my uncle's dog would knock over and drink your beer whenever you put it on the ground. I've done my best about being conservative but not too conservative in the numbers.

The next day we went into Houghton where I had one Keweenaw Pickaxe Blonde at a super dope pizza place the Ambassador. After the Ambassador, we went to the other microbrewery in Houghton, the Library (which doesn't seem to have a website). I got the ten beer sampler. Check it out!

I have a lot of pics of samplers from my camera phone. They're all kind of dark like this one, but what're you going to do? In case you're interested in what these 10 beers are, here's a picture of the list:

Yeah, I can't read that either. Here's what I can make out: Whiteout Wheat (but they were out of this one so I can say that's not on the tray), Keweenaw Golden Ale, Rock Harbor Light Ale, Portage Premium Lager, Redbrick Rye Ale, Copper Town Ale, Miner's IPA, Bumbletown Ale, Rabbit Bay Brown Ale, and Something? Dry Stout. As you'll see when we get to Ann Arbor, I did a lot of sampling. The problem with doing these samplers is that its near impossible to remember every specific beer if you're not taking detailed notes, which I wasn't. Another problem is that all of these samplers are needlessly inflating my numbers. So what I'm going to do is for Michigan, 3 samples = 1 beer, and I'll round up or down depending. So here, 10 samples = 3 beers? Cool? Also, I'll talk about what I can remember, and that's being shocked by the Keweenaw Gold. Normally I'm not too huge of a fan of standard brewpub golden ales. They tend to be there for macrobeer drinkers that want something they can drink. But I've got to say, I liked this golden ale so much that I got a growler of it (my dad got a growler of the IPA, which was also really good). It had a nice sweet taste to it and was an absolutely perfect beer for a warm Michigan afternoon. Back at the farm, we split the growlers amongst a whole host of people (I had 1 IPA and 1 Golden) while playing cards. And just for good measure, I also had a Blatz.

The next day (and sadly last) day in the U.P., the cousins, my wife, and I went bowling and gambling at the casino. Because I'm at a bowling alley in a casino in the Upper Peninsula, I had a Bud Tall Boy (my dad bought it for me so it counts!). Get this. You know how much we paid for shoes and two games a piece for four bowlers? 9 dollars! I felt so bad about paying so little that after bowling I promptly gave the casino 45 of my dollars. That should even things out. Later that night we had an epic poker match/bonfire during which I drank a Celis Grand Cru, Dundee Stout, and 4 Strohs. And so ends my Yooper journey. Stay tuned tomorrow for when we go visit the Trolls down below!

Say Yeah to Da U.P., Eh!

2010-08-23T13:38:00.000-04:00

And Lo, for the Earth was empty of forms, and void. And Darkness was all over the Face of the Deep. And We said: Look at that guy drink some beer. Yes, I'm back from Radio Silence (big ups to anyone that recognizes the Madame Psychosis intro there, which is probably no one, and I only thought about it because it's taken me about 3 weeks to get 200 pages into Infinite Jest and that was literally the last page I read and I thought it was apropos here. Aren't I supposed to talk about drinking beer on this blog at some point in time?). I've been away for over two weeks here on a whirlwind international (really!) tour of the north. I was in Michigan for a little under two weeks, then back to NYC for a whopping one day, and then off to Montreal for the weekend for no discernible reason. Over two weeks and ton of beer drinking and a lot to talk about. I'm breaking this up into four to five posts. Michigan breaks itself nicely into three. I spent about 4 days in the Upper Peninsula, about 4 days in the Alpena area, and about 4 days in Ann Arbor. Then I'll drop a post or two about Canada. I'm not sure how I'll figure in the beers I drink this week, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'll just try not to do too much interesting beer drinking on my last week of summer break I guess. So with much more ado, on to the U.P.!

Glad to start this off with one of the dumbest visual puns I've ever made. The trip began inauspiciously. Got in to Detroit around 10 pm, went to the hotel where my dad had a Mission Street Brown Ale from Trader Joe's waiting for me. Drank that, went to sleep. Woke up at 5:30 the next morning to begin the epic 8 hour drive to my grandma's farm in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

For those of you that don't know, Michigan has two peninsulas. Also, for those of you who don't know, no one actually lives in the upper one. For a little comparison, Manhattan has a population of about 1.7 million and is a total of 23 square miles. The U.P. has a total population of about 300,000 and is about 17,000 square miles. It's a little nuts. My grandma's farm is located up near the Keweenaw Peninsula (Yo Dawg, I heard you like peninsulas so I put a peninsula in your peninsula...), pretty close to Lake Superior in a town called Baraga. Baraga is so small that the farm is on a road literally named after my family. It sits on about 300 square acres. It's absolutely beautiful but there is no one and nothing (and I really, really mean that) around it. We arrive at the farm around 5 at night, my grandma has a growler waiting from us filled with a beer which she can't name from a brewery in Houghton (a town about an hour away) she can't remember. Using my deductive powers, I figure its from the Keweenaw Brewing Company and some kind of porter. I have a glass of that, then its off to dinner and to do some grocery shopping. At dinner I have a Keweenaw Lift Bridge Brown Ale. You remember when I talked about the Hotel Hershey restaurant that didn't have any real selection of Pennsylvania brew? Well we went to the Hilltop Diner in Lanse, literally just some small, quintessentially midwestern diner in a super small U.P. town. Well guess what? They had SIX different Michigan craft beers to choose from! Michigan is insane! We then go to the grocery store where I pick up a six pack of Keweenaw's Widow Maker, their black lager, and 30 pack of Blatz. I am in the U.P. after all. I have one of each back at the farm.

Here's where I'm going to go on a little mini-rant and then probably end this post. Michigan somehow turned into a "The Town I Went To Grad School In Really, Really Sucked" Tour. We all should know that Michigan is an excellent beer state. Avery, Founders, Bells, you all know. But it also has a million different excellent local breweries. But let's put that aside for a moment while I do a comparison of Town A and Town B.

Town A has a total population of about 7,000 people. It also has a "Tech" school with a total enrollment of about 7,000 students. Town A has two different microbreweries.

Town B has a total population of about 40,000 people. It also has a "Tech" school with a total enrollment of about 31,000 students. Town B has no microbreweries.

Town A is Houghton, MI. Town B is where I went to grad school. You'll see another amazing snapshot like this when I get to Ann Arbor. Spoiler alert. Town A will be Ann Arbor. Town B will be where I went to grad school. I show you these comparisons to illustrate not just how much where I went to grad school sucked from a beer drinking perspective, but also to show you just how much Michigan loves craft beer. Michigan has an unemployment rate of about 14.5% but somehow a town like Houghton can support not one but two craft breweries. Amazing.

One of Houghton's microbreweries is the aforementioned Keweenaw Brewing Co. They are great and actually have a pretty decent distribution of canned beers throughout the U.P. I never actually made it to their brew pub but I did have many of their canned beers while I was up there. I'll end this post now. I know we're only two days in but I promise things will pick up. Glad to be back and posting and you'll get some numbers from me in about a week! See you chumps tomorrow!

Hide Your Children Hide Your Wife

2010-08-05T20:24:00.001-04:00

What a time to shut this blog down for two weeks. I just get a slew of new readers and, let's say, international exposure, and I'm out the door? This is nonsense. Vacations are the worst. Here's a better real life example. So I get a call today about an honest-to-Satan paying job. I say, "Hey, that sounds great! But I'm going out of town for two weeks, can we schedule it for when we get back?" They say, "Nope! We're filling this job now! Sorry, chump!" So there are worse things that can happen than having to go on a little hiatus at the height of my fame. But on the plus side, I'm coming back refreshed and, thanks to not being able to go to that interview, job free! Late August will be this blog's renaissance. But the business at hand: Tuesday I had a La Playa Lager (here's the review, tastes like you'd think!) That's it! Wednesday we had a fancy dinner party here and I had three Victory Whirlwind Wits.

I just want to say that I am marginally concerned about keeping pace out in Michigan. I don't think my numbers will dip below the line, but I think when I get back my lead will be around 5 to 10. Those are just predictions though. We'll find out! Nee you sex time! Back in two weeks! Before the numbers, I'll leave you with some pics of where I'm going:

Ok I'm not really going to that last place. I just love that song.

Total Beers: 615
Where I Should Be: 591.780

When Exorcisms Kill

2010-08-03T22:56:00.000-04:00

I don't mean to go all dead air on you guys here. The thing is, I've had some ass-kicking and name-taking that I needed to be doing in my non-beer drinking related life that has consumed a fair amount of my time, both for writing and for beer drinking. As you'll see by these paltry numbers: Sunday I had one Harpoon UFO Raspberry. Monday I had one La Playa Lager (Trader Joe's newest 50 cent beer, I'll review tomorrow because I'm drinking one now) and one Harpoon UFO. Here's the schedule as of now though. Thursday a real posts drops. Same with Friday. Then I go dead air for two weeks while in Michigan. Then this blog sees the most prolific posts it has ever seen. Here's a sample: on the subway home the other night (Saturday I think), I was drunkenly explaining to her how I had a seven page post comparing a line discussing Sam Adams in an article about Carlsberg banning their drivers from drinking beer to Descartes' introduction to the Meditations, not the Meditations themselves mind you, just the introduction. I wish I had a lap top on that train because I'm sure that would have been epic. I mean it will be epic, once I remember what exactly I was going to say about that. Wait. I remember. Oh boy do I remember.

Total Beers: 611
Where I Should Be: 586.301

Beer City, Beer Beer City

2010-08-01T20:25:00.000-04:00

Today is August 1st, and we all know what that means: Everyone and their mom is moving today. Literally a dozen moving trucks are parked on our street with people moving into their new apartments. I claim that August 1st is the busiest moving day in NYC because most leases start on the first of the month (narrowing it down to 12 days of the year) and that August would be a good time for both students moving to the city to start college and for families who wanted to move before their kids' school year started. I said "claim" because I have no actual data collected to prove this, but I think my word should be good enough for you. That said, Ryan has been helping a friend move all day and is now tired, sore, and (hopefully) working on job applications. So I, Liz, am going to post today. Whoopie!

Today I was on the couch (not helping friends move) and was watching My Fair Wedding with Dave Tutera. As I was once a bride-to-be, I used to watch a lot of WE television and spend my whole Sunday watching Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, and My Fair Wedding. I now watch it occasionally when there is nothing else on.

For those of you who may not know, Dave Tutera is a Jason Bateman look-a-like who plans really expensive weddings. The show is about how he meets a bride three weeks before her wedding, tells her how tacky everything is, redoes her whole wedding, and then is weird at the wedding by making a speech at the reception and standing between the two newlyweds constantly at their wedding. Overall, the work he does is beautiful and he really does a great job. Usually, the bride loves what he did to her wedding but she just couldn't have afforded it without him stepping in and doing all of the work (and paying).

Today I saw an episode that took place in Texas. Dave Tutera is a New York City man, and usually only does weddings in the NYC area. Apparently, they wanted to take him out of his comfort zone, and that's exactly what they did. This girl had planned a wedding themed around corn, straw, cowboy boots, and bottles of beer.

Tutera throws a fit about a lot of things. He always hates the venue. And the dresses. And her centerpieces. And her hair. And everything else. In this episode. her shoes were an expected fight -- he wanted her in strappy little heels and she wanted cowboy boots. She got her way. (They were covered by the dress anyway. But as a bride who wore sneakers to her own wedding, I think that shoes are something a bride should not have to compromise on) But he also got upset about the beer.

You see, he's a fancy-pants New Yorker who only does things 100% classy. He said that no bride of his would be walking around with a bottle or can of beer at her wedding -- and sent her to a wine tasting class! Well I never.

As you can see from the wedding video (from the venue's website) he allowed her to make s'mores but not drink a beer!?! Beer drinkers are often seen as the low-brow Homer Simpson types - but to deny a bride her beverage of choice because it's not classy enough is insane. I know that I am now preaching to the choir, but I just found it a tad bit outrageous that the bride could get drunk and make s'mores at her wedding -- as long as she was drinking super classy wine.

I felt that there was more to say about this outrage, but it turns out I don't actually have to type it - you all know what I'm thinking and so I will just leave you with this set up and let you assume you know the rest. Meaning, I think it's ridiculous and all that good stuff.

As for the numbers, on Friday we went to a Mets/Diamondbacks Game and so some of the beers are...subpar. On Saturday we had dinner and drinks at a friend's apartment and so we stuck with the theme of Mexican to go with our yummy taco dinner.

Friday at the Game: 1 Goose Island IPA ($7.50 for 12 oz), 1 Bud Light ($7 for 16 oz.), 1 Brooklyn Summer Ale ($7.50 for 16 oz.)
Friday after the Game: 4 Rolling Rocks (they were $15 for a bucket of 6)
Saturday: 1 Harpoon UFO Raspberry on the couch and then 2 Tecates with tacos

Total Beers: 608 beers
Where he should be: 580.821

Disappointments

2010-07-30T16:42:00.001-04:00

Quick update before I am off to the Mets/Diamondbacks game. Last night I had one beer, a 25 oz bottle of Josh Childress. That sounds kind of gross when I say it like that. I drank the beer I had purchased intending to use as my Josh Childress beer. I think I may have to get another beer though, as this one was way disappointing. The hell with it. I'll get another. The beer I drank last night was a Lagunitas Hop Stoopid. It was disappointing in two respects. First, it says its 102 IBUs. Tasted like about 60. Second, it tastes like its about 10-11% ABV. It actually clocks in at 8%. You know me, I like the alcohol taste, but I generally like that taste to be backed up by actually alcohol. So a rare miss for Lagunitas. I mean it was perfectly serviceable, but not what I expected. What wasn't a miss? The price of the bottle. It ran $7 here in NYC for a big bottle. Lagunitas consistently keeps their prices low and you've got to love them for that. But perhaps the most disappointing thing about last night: I'm now out of beer in the apartment. I mean I have three Africa beers that I'm drinking sometime next week, but outside of that? Nothing.

Also, as a bit of a preview, I'm heading out to Michigan for two weeks in August, meaning its going to get a little slow around these parts. But what I'd like for you all to do is recommend some Michigan breweries I should hit. Bonus points for breweries in the Upper Peninsula, because I'll be there for a good chunk of time. I probably won't be able to actually go to any of the ones you recommend, what with this trip being tied to family obligations and stuff, but it would be nice to know what I'm missing.

Total Beers: 598

Where I Should Be: 575.342

Too Proud To Turn Around, She's Gone

2010-07-29T22:30:00.002-04:00

I feel a little bit like Ace of Base right now. You remember those guys, right? Jenny, Joker, Linn, and Buddha? The Swedish Beatles, as I'm sure someone at some point called them. You may remember their hit songs, The Sign, Don't Turn Around, and All That She Wants. Well let me tell you a very brief behind the music story about this band. Full disclosure: I'm in a folk-rock Ace of Base tribute band. I love those guys.

As weird as it sounds, the story of Ace of Base is the classic American Rock Story. So those three songs I just listed are all from 1993's ubiquitous album The Sign (or Happy Nation, as the album was called in every other country on earth, America is weird sometimes). But let's start at the beginning. Ace of Base was formed by a group of high school friends back in 1987. It was a rag tag group of buddies doing what they loved best: playing weird techno songs. Here's how rag tag the group was: one of the original members left in 1989 because he wanted to go to a Rolling Stones concert on the night of one of their gigs. This was no corporate manufactured pop band. These were real, honest-to-god, friends that liked playing catchy techno-pop songs. So, as the classic Swedish Techno Band Story goes, the group of friends keeps playing gigs, gets bigger and bigger, the right song (for the record that song is All That She Wants) gets in the right person's hands, and finally the band bootstraps themselves up into mainstream success. Ace of Base becomes a huge international success. Let's enjoy them for a second.

At this point I just want to reemphasize that the members of Ace of Base actually wrote all of the songs that appear on The Sign. A bunch of Swedish high school friends wrote one of the most successful albums of the the 1990s and one of the greatest albums of all time. So as what happens when young people gain international success, they got burnt out. They'd been touring together, non-stop, for several years, playing the same songs, night in, night out. Not only that, but after writing the greatest masterpiece of the last 2,000 years, they were just tapped out. So what does of Ace of Base do? They say, you know what, it's been a great ride, but we'd all like to go our separate ways. The record company responds, the hell you will. See, the thing is, they signed like a six record deal or something ungodly like that. The Record Company said march right down to the practice room, attention and fame a career, a career. Ace of Base froze. They had nothing left. In addition to the exhaustion of world-wide tour, the pressure of recording a follow up album crippled them. They left song-writing duties to others and then gradually faded out into obscurity. Tragic, tragic stuff.

All of this is to say, I'm nervous about the crushing pressure that comes with being a newly famous international beer writer. That's not true in the slightest. Here's what this comes down to. I was thinking, "Hey, I have a few new followers now after my epic showdown with Beer and Whiskey Bros. I hope I don't succumb to the pressure much like Ace of Base did in the wake of their awesome album The Sign." So that's why I tell you this story. That and I love that story. Ace of Base was just a gang of friends that happened to become famous and then got taken down by The Man. Damn The Man.

So I'm trying to avoid being taken down by the man. It's been a pretty wild week here at My 1000 Beer Year. First, my interview with Drink With The Wench drops. Then the Bethlehem Brew Works people get in contact with me for something that is yet to be determined but will surely be amazing (if it involves me going to the Brew Works for any reason what so ever, it will be awesome). But yeah, they have my full name and real e-mail address and everything so there's that! If you're in the Bethlehem area, go check them out and tell them My 1000 Beer Year sent you. And then, as if those two things aren't enough, I find myself in the middle of a blood feud that's reverberated across the internet. For real though, big ups to the Beer and Whiskey Bros. for responding to criticisms in a rational, coherent manner, and convincing manner, unlike, say, uh, James from BrewDog. Sensible and cordial disagreement. If only craft beer drinkers occupied the other two branches of government. Anyway, crazy week.

Fortunately, I love drinking beer and no amount of pressure can keep me from that. Unfortunately, the Phoenix Suns series will be dropping in October, in the lead up to the start of the season. Robin Lopez entry is done and I've started the Jared Dudley entry, but I figured I'd write them all and the post them in a series at a time that made sense instead of willy-nilly throughout the off season. So for now, beer drinking! Last night I drank three Southamptons (the usual run) on the couch while watching the worst movie I've seen in my life. You can all make guesses at to what that was in the comments. Tonight's pretty slow drinking wise (updates tomorrow) but tomorrow I'm going to my first ever Mets game, and I hear a certain Brooklyn Brewery runs that Citi Field, so I'm psyched. Till then, keep Living In Danger.

Total Beers: 597
Where I Should Be: 572.602

'Eh! I'm Walkin' 'ere!

2010-07-28T19:17:00.000-04:00

At the risk of bumping my epic BrewDog post down a peg, I do have the everyday business to get back to. You know, the beer drinking. Fortunately for keeping the epic post still in view (but unfortunately for my numbers and general drunkenness), beer drinking has been at a minimum these past couple of days. Sunday I had no beers. You might have noticed that I needed some drying out. So that's what I did! Monday I was right back on (off?) the wagon. Three Southamptons (Double White, Bier de Mars, and India Pale Ale) on the couch. Yesterday (Tuesday) I made a trip to New York's famous Spumoni Gardens. While their pizza was super dope, they had no beer there. I had a Southampton Bier de Mars on the couch when we got home. That's all for now. I'm sitting on some pretty big news and some pretty big posts, but I want to let the previous post stand for a bit. And now, the numbers:

Total Beers: 594
Where I Should Be: 569.863

In Defense of BrewDog

2010-07-27T17:20:00.005-04:00

I am not lying to you when I say the Robin Lopez post is done. But given the fact that I have a few new readers now (or so I am intuiting? deducing?), I figure I'd talk about something we can all get behind. Beer. Well, I guess what I want to talk about isn't something everyone can get behind. I want to talk about BrewDog.

For those of you unfamiliar, of which there should be few, BrewDog is a brewery from Scotland known for brewing beers that have an ABV content upward of 55%. I say there should be few of you unfamiliar with BrewDog because it has a received a huge amount of mainstream press. They started with a beer called Tactical Nuclear Penguin which clocked in at 32%, believed at the time to be the world's most alcoholic beer. Some other brewer bested that ABV, so BrewDog released Sink the Bismark, which clocked in at 41%. Well, what's creating the brew-ha-ha (puns!) now is their new release The End of History (EOH), a beer clocking in at a whopping 55%. Not only that, but they only made 11 bottles of them. And they're selling them for $760-$1100. And each bottle is wrapped in a taxidermed (not sure that's a word) squirrel. Here's a picture:

The mainstream media did their usual "Isn't this wacky!" and

pieces, but the craft brew drinkers went nuts! Nuts in a bad way. If you care to register for BeerAdvocate.com, which you should, you can read some of the vitriol here. Beer people are not happy. But that's anonymous commenting on the internet. Anonymous commenters on the internet are never happy. There's just no pleasing those guys! But here's a funny thing. Legit beer writers weren't too happy about this either. Brew Club hints at it. But lovers of all good things alcohol, and friends of the 1000BeerYear, Beer and Whiskey Brothers go right at it. I just want to say, Beer and Whiskey Bros. is one of my favorite beer/alcohol blogs on all of the internet. If you're reading this blog and not theirs, well, you're an idiot, but I appreciate that you're not reading them because their writing makes mine look like amateur hour and if anybody gets wind that there is good beer writing out there, I'm done! Done I tells ya! With that precursor of mad props and respect out there, I have to say, I think they couldn't be more wrong on this one. Allow me to tell you why.

First I want to say that in fairness to the Bros, they didn't really present an argument, just a series of impressions or feelings they had about EOH, and it is pretty silly to try to "refute" or "defend against" someone's opinions or feelings. That said, I still think they are wrong. Second, I wouldn't write this at all if it wasn't for BrewDog's brewer James Watts coming across like a complete lunatic and angry, angry person when he tried to defend his beer to angry internet commentators. I believe his first mistake was responding to people anonymously commenting on the internet. Third, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, read their piece. I'll link to it again. And once more for good measure. As always I do my best not to strawman, but keep me honest and read the thing for yourself. With that said, let's do this thang.

If I'm understanding the criticism correctly (which it's very likely that I am not), it's that BrewDog is more attention-seeker than brewer. And this is bad for beer. The whole article is essentially an explanation of the facts (high ABV beer, silly costumes, weird packaging, etc), explained in, let's say, a less than favorable manner, in order to lead up to the following sentence:

"If I had any doubt that BrewDog cared more about the media than the people drinking their beers, I don’t now. The guys are using craft beer for glory and profit and aren’t really giving anything back."

You know, I've tried to wrap my brain around this, and I just don't understand the vitriol for a beer that is 1) admittedly mainly an academic exercise and 2) never been tasted by anyone throwing around the criticisms. Yes, BrewDog loves hype. Yes, the squirrels and the wacky press releases primarily serve the hype. But when has marketing been a no-no in craft beer? If you look at the squirrels as just another form of packaging, like naming your beer something wacky (and if you have ethical concerns about the use of these road-killed animals, well, you better check your moral consistency meter because I'd wage dollars to donuts that it's pointing directly at "hypocritical"), then how is BrewDog unique? Craft beer is riddled with silly names and silly roll-out events. You don't like the squirrels because it's too ridiculous? Well, I'd imagine you're not pleased with Stone's Arrogant Bastard, or Santa's Butt, or Monkey's Butt (ok, that beer is actually gross), or any number of gimicky beer names. I don't think you can really have it both ways here. Either craft beer is somehow above the fray of marketing, or I guess more specifically, irreverant marketing, in which case chuck out the names of almost all of 21st Amendment's brews, or it's not. To say the only kind of zaniness allowed in the craft beer market is the type that illicits dry, golf-clap-esque chuckles is just wrong-headed. While it may go toward "Respecting Beer," I think it disrespects beer drinkers. Because saying this type of marketing is bad for beer is a normative judgment. It says craft beer drinkers shouldn't be exposed to this. Or maybe it says that real craft beer drinkers wouldn't want to be exposed to this. Either way, critisizing EOH based on packaging and marketing makes craft beer drinking out to be an elitist endeavor which, based on just about every beer-festival I've ever been to, it most certainly is not, nor should it be.

As to placing more emphasis on media than the people drinking their beers, I think that it's kind of a strange claim to make against a beer that is literally only available to 11 people. Those 11 people, the people drinking the beers, I believe, are the people BrewDog most ardinantly cares about. No one is forcing anyone to buy EOH (or for that matter TNP or STB). I think the people that are buying it are beer drinkers that think to themselves, "Holy Hell, a 55% beer? I've got to try that." Given that's the limited market, BrewDog delivers exactly what those drinkers want. It's weird to talk about it being a substandard 55% ABV beer, given that at that point, standard tasting criteria for beer go out the window. If I were still in grad school, and thank Satan I am not, I'd probably write a term paper on Wittgenstein and tasting 55% beer, but the distilled (pun?) point is that at that point, you have to throw out all your tasting concepts and criteria. You can not like it, but what you can't do is not like it because it doesn't taste like a 55% beer should. If there were actually criteria for this type of beer, then maybe the claim that they care more about media than their drinkers would be legit. But there isn't. So it isn't.

It's another thing to say they don't care about the people drinking the beer if you're talking about the extremely limited distribution/high cost. If you think that that's just another marketing trick, and that if BrewDog really cared about beer drinkers they would let more than 11 people try this, then you may have a claim. But similarly, couldn't we also throw stones at Westvleteren for its rather intense restrictions on its beer distribution? Is it the brewer's duty to put its beer in as many people's hands that want it? I've talk about this briefly before and will probably do so again in the future, but my gut tells me the limited distribution isn't a marketing trick so this whole point is moot.

Unfortunately, what I really think is telling in the Bros' criticism is their contention that they would be more willing to accept this beer if it came from a Dogfish Head or a Bruery. This is sort of a tough point to argue against because I think it goes not just to the core of a beer drinker's philosophy, but to the core of a person's whole life view as well. Ok, maybe that's a touch overblown. Unless you have some ethical reasons not to (like Yuengling and their union busting or Macrobrew and their farming policies), I think a true beer drinker shouldn't discount any beer just because of the label on the bottle. Discounting a beer because it's not sufficiently "credentialed" reeks of snobbish elitism and needlessly puts a limiting principle on a beer drinker's drinking. When I say this went to the core of a beer drinker's philosophy I mean this: There are two fundamental ways to approach beer drinking. You can ask what the beer is and then drink it or you can drink it and then ask what the beer is. I know, I know, 9 times out of 10 you know what beer you're drinking before you drink it, but the point is, would you rather have a pre-conceived judgment of the beer or would you rather go in blank? Would you rather have a rubic by which to measure what you're about to drink to see if its for you or would you rather drink it, see if you like it, and then see where it maps onto your previous concepts of what a beer should taste like? When we start forming instant judgments about a beer, Dogfish Head = Good, BrewDog = Bad, before we've had the beer, well, then we're not being honest craft beer drinkers. It's funny to invoke Dogfish Head here, because if I recall, before they became the rockstars of the craft beer world, they were prejudged for their "extreme" behavior. 10% ABV? Who would do that? That's not beer! Dry hopping for 120 minutes! You're not thinking of the beer drinker! You may not like their marketing style, but if getting up in arms about a high ABV beer just because it's a high ABV beer, well that feels a little bit like deja vu all over again. So I fail to see how BrewDog, just by making a seriously high ABV beer, isn't "respecting beer." But I would say that if we are judging a beer based on the bottle and not the contents of the bottle, we maybe respecting our previous experiences/prejudices, but we are not respecting beer.

Welcome Drink With the Wench And Followers

2010-07-25T23:17:00.001-04:00

Big ups to Drink With The Wench. I did an interview with them a little bit ago and they posted it today! You should all go read it here! I'm pretty excited about it. Also, for those of you just checking this blog out now for the first time, I think I'd like to direct you to the back history. This past month (or let's be honest, two) hasn't been the greatest in terms of posting. But I swear I used to be funny. I used to have witty things to say about beer and beer drinking. But the oppressive heat plus the summer 9 to 5 have sucked the life force from my...life? I have no idea. Anyway, there are some links to the left there that I would personally recommend. Or hit previous entries a couple of times and I'm sure you'll come across a gem or two. Anyway, welcome! I'd love it if you stuck around for a while!

And for your viewing pleasure, here's the picture of myself I submitted:

Can of Pennies

2010-07-25T21:05:00.001-04:00

Thursday: 3 Southampton (India Pale Ale, Altbier, Bier de Mars) on the couch.

Friday: 2 Brooklyn Lagers, 1 Brooklyn Summer at Lunasa.

Saturday: 1 Brooklyn Lager, 1 Kelso Pilnsner at Mullholland's, 1 Brooklyn Lager and 1 Lagunitas IPA at Charlestons, 2 big ol' Blanche de Bruxelles at the beer garden in Williamsburg.

I spent today recovering and watching Inception. My brain is fried, fried I tells ya. It's too hot to function here. The title is literally the last thing I heard on television. You ever read Flowers For Algernon? I feel like this blog is that story in reverse. I'll explain that metaphor (that's a simile!!!) when my brain turns back to something something. That doesn't even make sense. The story is essentially the same in reverse. I guess I mean inverted? Holy hell I'm going to stop now.

Love,

Charly

Total Beers: 589 (I had to add the numbers about 7 or 8 times to make sure this total number was correct)

Where I Should Be: Does not compute. Does not compute.

So Much Housekeeping

2010-07-22T19:22:00.000-04:00

You may think my infrequent posting has to do with my having a 9 to 5 now. Well as always, you'd be wrong. I've pin pointed exactly why it is I'm taking longer post now and as always, it's not my fault. It's Liz's. See, she doesn't have a job now (well she does, it's just her summer vacation). So now she wants to go out at nights, and you know me, I can't say no to anything. This wouldn't be a problem during my school year, when I could post during the day. But with being at a job where I can't post? It hampers my posting time. I'm at work from 9 to 5 and have been out on the town from after work till going to sleep for the past several days, so I ask you dear readers: where's the time? So thanks a lot, Liz. You're really screwing the pooch here. Really, the only day I don't have an excuse for is Monday. Let's talk about that day.

On Monday I had the Jared Dudley mystery beer. For those concerned, the Robin Lopez post is about 75% written. The thing about these posts, I'm recognizing, is that they are going to be looooooooong. I've got a lot to say about all of the players and a lot to say about all of the beers. As such, while I thought this was going to be a week-long series, I think I'm only going to be able to do about one a week. After drinking the Jared Dudley beer, I had three Southamptons (India Pale Ale, Altbier, Saison).

Tuesday was a little crazy. Liz had a groupon for a sangria tasting at this restaurant in Union Square and she was going to meet up with a girlfriend and us it on Tuesday. Last minute it turns out the friend couldn't make it so I get a call. I go down to meet her, we have the sangria, and I see written on the chalkboard they have a saison on sale for 5 bucks. I ask what it is, thinking it's going to be a normal 12 oz bottle of something. The bartender pulls out a 25 oz bottle of Southampton Deluxe Saison. That goes for at least 10 bucks in stores so when you get a chance to buy a bottle for 5 at a bar, well you gotta jump on that. While we're drinking that, I notice that they also have "Insanity" written on the board as well for 5 dollars. No way. No way. I ask if that's Weyerbacher's Insanity. It is. He pulls out a 25 oz bottle of it. So of course we have to drink that as well. While we're drinking the Insanity, I see a 25 oz bottle of Victory Baltic Thunder Porter. The bartender asks if I want that as well. I say, "Well, if it's 5 bucks I do," he goes back and asks the manager. Comes back. Sold. In conclusion, on Tuesday I had (split) a 25 oz Southampton Saison (8%), a 25 oz Weyerbacher Insanity (11%), and a Victory Baltic Thunder Porter (9%), which would run about $40 at a store, all for $15! After that I am quite drunk, so instead of getting another bottle of each, which I seriously, seriously considered, I did the wise thing and went home.

Last night (Wednesday) was a simple one beer night. Being fancy-pants New Yorkers, we went to a Louis Black show in Central Park and didn't back till late. I will say this. I do not really care for Louis Black. I get it. You like to yell. Maybe tell some jokes while you're yelling? I had a Southampton Double White at the apartment and passed out. So there you have it. Late nights. Average (for me) amount of beer drinking. Fun times! Robin Lopez probably drops tomorrow. I can promise you it will be worth the wait.

Total Beers: 577
Where I Should Be: 553.424

The Road To Hell Is Paved With Something, I Hear

2010-07-20T21:31:00.000-04:00

Look. Robin Lopez was supposed to go up today. But things happen. Things like me stumbling across a bar that has 25 oz bottles of Weyerbacher and Victory on sale for 5 bucks a pop. That's literally cheaper than you can get them at the brewery. More later. kljkl1jejwlkjfklqwflkwjfl;jw

Happy Belated Bastille Day!

2010-07-19T17:51:00.001-04:00

This post is all business. I'm saving my creative juices for the Robin Lopez post which I am working on now and will be dropping tomorrow. Although I just want to say one thing I've realized: if I could post from work this blog would be one million times better

Saturday: for being mind-numbingly hot, I only drank two beers. Liz and I went out to the new Brooklyn Bridge park at Pier 6. It was awesome. Except I wasn't allowed on any of it. Stupid not having kids. It's literally all kids playground stuff, stuff I would have gone nuts for when I was younger and would go nuts for now if it wouldn't be creepy for a 26 year old man to be playing in a children's playground. Sexual predators ruin everything. I used to think about that when I would eat lunch in Union Square. I'd always try to grab a bench by the dog park there because it was in the shade and I like dogs so hanging out there watching the dogs play was an ok gig. Not creepy or anything anyone would get up in arms about (if you say that is creepy, then punch yourself in the face if you've ever walked into a mall pet shop just to look at those caged puppies because you sir, or ma'am, are a hypocrite of the first order). But imagine if instead of a dog park that was just a regular ol' kids park. Then me eating lunch watching kids play would be super creepy, which is weird because I have the exact same intention of abducting/harming kids as I do dogs, which is none whatsoever. But one activity is ok and one is not. So again, thanks a lot, sexual predators. After Pier 6 we went to Pier 1 (the park not the store) which has a ton of grass (the lawn stuff, not the stuff you smoke). Liz read a book while I took a nap in the park like a hobo. Anyway, to avoid making this a "life-casting" blog, I'll just say that only other beer I had on Saturday was the Robin Lopez beer, of which you will hear a lot about tomorrow.

Sunday: Different story. Had lots of beers. 6 to be exact! Had a Sixpoint Signal at Bar Great Harry. Signal is a fruity smoked beer that Sixpoint brewed only for distribution at bars that carry the Good Beer Seal, which I think is a silly thing so I won't even link to it! Regardless of my thoughts about the Good Beer Seal, the Signal was super delicious and tasted like two separate beers at once. Its initially super fruity but the aftertaste is a hops/smoke explosion. It really seems like the aftertaste belongs to a different beer than the Signal you just drank. Also at BGH, I had a 21st Amendment Bitter American (which tasted about the same on tap as it had from the growler) and an Avery Collaboration not Litigation, a Belgian strong ale, which actually has a pretty interesting story. Avery and Russian River Brewing, two stalwarts of west coast brewing, both had beers out called Salvation. Instead either of the breweries ceasing to brew their Salvation or cease using the name, the brewers got together and decided to make a beer where they would literally mix both of their fully brewed Salvations. The result is Collaboration Not Litigation.

At home Liz and I split a growler of Victory's Brauhmeister Pilsner, of which I had three full pints. I have a horrible secret to share with you all. I'm not so great at differentiating pilsners. I mean I can tell the difference between an actual pilsner and "true Pilsner Miller Lite," but the difference between Victory's Prima Pils and its Brauhmeister? Not so much. Pilsners aren't my favorite style, but I like Victory and this was certainly serviceable.

So there you go. A post with no basketball, a lot of beer, and some other junk. See you tomorrow!

Total Beers: 569

Where I Should Be: 545.205

Hedo's Missing Gallstones

2010-07-17T12:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, lest you fret, I did pick up some beer for my Suns related posts. So far I've got a Robiz Lopez, a Jared Dudley, and a Josh Childress. I had ideas for Grant Hill and Steve Nash, but Bierkraft didn't have what I was looking for. I'll probably drink the Fro-Lo tonight. BUT I did end my near-beerless week last night. I had a Harpoon Belgian Ale at Bierkraft with dinner. I think I've had that four or five times but always forget 1) that I've had it and 2) that it's not very good. I mean its a perfectly serviceable beer, just nothing to write home about. At home Liz and I split a growler of Coney Island Luna Lager which, to steal a line from a group of old ladies after they just watched A Serious Man, I just did not care for. It seemed overly carbonated and tasted a lot like the much maligned Red Oval. I had three beers poured from that. So, four beers, zero that I actually really liked. For shame. Today I'm off to Coney Island, maybe, so we'll see what kind of antics I get into today, but a tomorrow or Monday, Robin Lopez should be up!

Total Beers: 561
Where I Should Be: 539.726

Don't worry about it, Ryan, I did all of the work

2010-07-16T11:37:00.000-04:00

So I read Ryan's blog and saw that he was planning to match a beer to each Suns player. Well, I know next to nothing about basketball - and absolutely nothing about most of the people he claims are on the Suns - but I did the matching for him. I even have reasons!

Since Ryan's at work, I'll post my picks - I'm sure he'll totally appreciate it!
- Liz
-------------------

1. Steve Nash --- My Pick: Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale
- Canadian Brewed Beer
- - - - Steve Nash is Canadian!
- IPA style beer (so a beer that was designed for travel, if you will)
- - - - Steve Nash is a true traveler who is a "citizen of the world"
- Alexander Keith's is the oldest brewery in North America (1820) but not the oldest brewery in the world
- - - - Steve Nash is also really old - but not the oldest player on the Suns

2. Grant Hill --- My Pick: Yuengling Lager
- American Brewed Beer
- - - - Grant Hill is American
- It's the Oldest Brewery in America
- - - - He's the oldest player on the Suns
- Not offensive taste-wise to most. It's just a "safe" beer choice.
- - - - His mom wanted him to go to Georgetown and his dad wanted him to go to UNC. He chose to attend Duke because it was "safe" and it wouldn't offend either of his parents.
- Union-busting!
- - - - Record-busting!

3. Robin Lopez --- My Pick: Skyscraper Brewing Company's Sancha beer
- American Brewed
- - - - Robin Lopez is American born.
- Mexican-style beer
- - - - Mexican-style man
- Most people haven't heard of it unless they are a fan of the brewery
- - - - Most people haven't heard of him (unlike those first two dudes) unless they are a basketball or Suns fan.

4. Goran Dragic --- My Pick: Union Beer
- Slovak beer
- - - - Slovak man
- There are only really two beers in Slovenia and this one (Union) is the one consumed in the capital city while the other beer is generally found outside of the city.
- - - - Phoenix is a city!

5. Jason Richardson --- My Pick: Atwater Michigan Lager
- It's from Michigan!
- - - - He's from Michigan!
- It's award winning (so says their website) but not for anything exceptional or noteworthy
- - - - He's a dunk-contest winner. Meaning he won awards that weren't even part of the actual basketball game.

6. Channing Frye --- My Pick: Four Peaks' Barrel-Aged Blind Date Ale
- It's from Arizona
- - - - He's from Arizona too (which I think should be how teams are put together like in High School, but this is a rant for another time...)
- It has Arizona-grown hops
- - - - He's Arizona-grown...I know nothing else about this guy.

7. Jared Dudley --- My Pick: Brooklyn Brewery's Lager
- It's a U.S. Beer
- - - - He's from the U.S.
- Brooklyn Brewery is located in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which is serviced by the G train, L train, and the JMZ lines.
- - - - On Twitter, Jared Dudley goes by the name "JMZ"
- It's a good, solid beer.
- - - - I will assume he's a good, solid player.

8. Hedo Turkoglu --- My Pick: Efes Pilsen
- It's a Turkish beer (and really all that they have on a large scale)
- - - - He's a Turkish man!
- When you Google the name of the beer, the first link is for Basketball (Euroleague).
- - - - When you Google the name of the man, the first link is also for Basketball (American, NBA)

9. Hakim Warrick --- My Pick: Yard's Pale Ale
- It's from Philadelphia, PA.
- - - - He's from Philadelphia
- The Brewery's name is Yards
- - - - He can jump YARDS higher than other people to dunk in their faces!
- Other beers "pale"in comparison to this beer
- - - - Other players "pale" in comparison ... bla bla bla ... I'm really running out of steam here.

10. Josh Childress --- My Pick: Zoes Blue Mak
- It's a beer from Greece
- - - - He may not be Greek, but he played basketball in Greece for a while making a ton of money.
- It's blue! Meaning it has a gimmick to get people to buy it before tasting it because they like the color blue.
- - - - He was on the cover of a PS2 game to get people to buy the game before playing it because they like Josh Childress

11. Earl Clark --- My Pick: Flying Fish Brewing Company's HopFish IPA
- It's really one of the only real breweries in New Jersey
- - - - He's from New Jersey (should I have picked a skunked beer?? jokes!)
- Here's my one and only use of it: It's hoppy!
- - - - He's a basketball player so he hops. There. I said it.

12. Taylor Griffen --- My Pick: Marshall Brewing Company Atlas India Pale Ale
- It's from the state of Oklahoma (when I typed that I sang the song in my head to be sure I spelling it right)
- - - - He's from the state of Oklahoma too
- It's a pale ale
- - - - He's a pale white guy!

13. Gani Lawal --- My Pick: Sweet Water Brewery's Georgia Brown
- It's from Georgia, a state with few micro-breweries
- - - - He's also from Georgia
- It's a brown ale
- - - - It this getting racist now? I'm getting tired of this...

14. Dwayne Colins --- My Pick: My Home Brewed Beer
- It doesn't exist. I talk about home brewing, but I just haven't done it yet.
- - - - This dude doesn't have a wikipedia page. Does. Not. Exist.

--------------
Well, this was very exhausting and since I know very little about any of these guys (especially as the list went on...) it was a lot of Wikipedia. Maybe Ryan should still give this a go...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Phoenix Suns

2010-07-15T19:45:00.000-04:00

As anticipated, I did not drink any beer last night. Even more disturbing, I still don't have any beer in the apartment nor am I making a trek to Bierkraft to rectify that situation. I have a lot of job application stuff that is due tomorrow morning that I figured I should work on. Also, I want to go to Bierkraft with a plan, a plan that I will formulate tomorrow during work (you know, in addition to actually working). But this Suns/beer thing is legitimately happening. Here's some, not rules per se, but consideration for each player's beer.

1. The beer should be from the player's home country. This seems obvious but also raises problems, See Nash, Steve.
2. For our domestic players, states should be considered. Home state, state where the player played college ball, state where the player played the bulk of their pro-career. All of it.
3. Style of play matters. This is kind of weird but I'm convinced that I'll somehow be able to translate "likes to play off the elbows" or "point-forward" into beer related terms. I haven't figured out how I'll be able to do that, but I'm positive I'll figure it out.
4. Personality matters. Both on court and off court. This one should play a pretty big role.
5. I'm limiting myself to only using the "he has mad hops" for picking a hoppy beer once. Guess which player? (Hint, sadly it's not Amar'e).
6. Career arc. Injury plagued? New to the league? Heady veteran?
7. Miscellaneous. Things like "Went to Duke but is still a cool guy," "Dope fro." Could fit into the personality portion I guess, but I already typed those things so its staying a separate category.

Have A Sweet Day!

2010-07-14T18:35:00.001-04:00

Let me tell you a little story about Hershey, PA. It has an amusement park called Hershey Park. I went there for two days for my anniversary. End of story! So the last update came on Friday, which Liz kindly put up for me while I was in the process of being kidnapped by her. I didn't update Saturday through Monday on account of being on an anniversary trip and all. Liz is cool with a lot of nonsense, but I wasn't about to push my luck on that one. Tuesday I didn't update because my mind was too busy being blown by this:

Hedo Turkoglu: Party Machine, skips town from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

This has seriously been keeping me up at night. Not because I don't like it, I'm just wicked, wicked confused. How does this work? Why is this happening? What becomes of Hakim Warrick? I have so many questions!

In terms of beers, there's not actually too much to update on. See, when you're riding roller coasters like this one:

all day, drinking beer isn't really a big part of the equation. But lest you fret, I did do some beer drinking!

Friday night, we got to the hotel around 11:30. Drank one Blue Point Hoptical Illusion (we packed the two beers we had left in the fridge) and passed out.

Saturday we started the day off with lunch at Harvest at the Hotel Hershey. Harvest is a pretty famous PA restaurant that doesn't use any ingredient that doesn't come from within 150 miles of the restaurant...except for beer. Some pretty famous beer bloggers complained about it to them, which you can read about here. Well, suffice it to say, Harvest hasn't actually done much to up its PA beer selection, which is a shame. I had an Appalachian Brewing Company Mountain Lager, which was kind of sweet but very average. Then it was off to the park! Then it was back to the hotel from park! After we got back, we went across the street to a pizza place, where I had two Yeungling Black and Tans. We picked up a six pack to take back to the hotel, where I had two Sam Adams Blackberry Wits.

Sunday was the actual anniversary. We were at Hershey Park till about 10, when we went back and had some year old wedding cake (which was surprisingly delicious) and some fancy-pants champagne. I also had a Blackberry Wit for good measure.

Monday we drove home after our trip. I saw a group of Amish people playing baseball while we were driving back which was pretty cool. Also, I sort of lost my voice when shouting the lyrics to that song "Breakfast at Tiffany's" at Liz while she was trying to drive. I'm the best! When we finally got back on Monday night, I was pretty exhausted from spending two days in the sun and just passed out, beerless. Tuesday night I had one Sam Adams Summer Ale at a friend's place after work. See? Not too much beer drinking. I had 8 beers over the course of 5 days, which for you math whizzes, is behind pace. To add to this lack of beer drinking: except for my Africa beers, I have no beer in the apartment! But don't worry, I have a plan. A sweet, sweet plan involving Hedo Turkoglu. Let's talk about that now.

So as Liz can attest, basketball and the Phoenix Suns have been making my mind explode in pretty good way recently. I really, really want to write about basketball, but unfortunately my only place of writing junk is this here beer blog. So in a stroke of genius (which I just misspelled, by the by), I came up with this idea: I'm going to pick a beer that I think best represents each (projected) member of the 2010/2011 Phoenix Suns, buy it, drink it, and write about it and why I chose it in a series of posts entitled, Beer and Basketball: Alienating All of My Readership. These posts will actually start tomorrow when I post a whole set of rules I've already sketched out. Tomorrow I'm hitting up Bierkraft and stocking up. Let's do this. Be prepared for regular posting. I'm back suckas!!!!!!!

Total Beers: 557
Where I Should Be: 531.506 (and the lead starts melt...)

Its'a me!

2010-07-09T23:38:00.000-04:00

Well, it's Liz again. Ryan is fine -- but I've kidnapped him. It's our one year anniversary and so I told him to pack a swimsuit and comfortable shoes and to be ready after work on Friday.

Now that we're HERE, I can let the cat out of the bag - we are in Hershey PA for a weekend of roller coasters, water rides, and good food. It should be a lot of fun - if we don't have heat strokes in the process.

Last night Ryan emailed me asking me to update since he knew he was being kidnapped. I did, indeed, take him out of the state - but I brought his laptop with us. That said, I'll still do the numbers...ish.

Wednesday: 1 Blue Point Toasted Lager, 1 Blue Point Hoptical Illusion

Thursday: Same two beers from Wednesday plus 1 Blue Point Summer Copper Ale

That was the email I received - so there you go.

Total beers: 549

Where I should be: I'll leave this math for "the man" as Ryan put it -- even though I did better on the math section of the GREs......ahem.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Just Say No to David Lee

2010-07-07T18:57:00.002-04:00

Consecutive posts on back to back days? Hell has not frozen over. It is too hot out for that. If nothing, my posting now is summoning Bill Zebub himself to scorch this earth. Quite the intro for merely this: last night I drank one Blue Point Hoptical Illusion while watching Moon on the couch. Moon, not quite as trippy as I had hoped but Sam Rockwell delivered the heat as always. Also the beer was solid (non-literally my friends, otherwise I couldn't drink it). See you tomorrow!

Total Beers: 544
Where I Should Be: 512.328

Hard Sci-Fi

2010-07-06T16:30:00.000-04:00

I was talking to Liz the other day about how about 1/3 of my life is "excused time." Don't you mean that 1/3 of your life is made up of excuses? Nope. It's excused time. For instance, I can't go to the gym for that hour because I just worked 8 hours and still have chores to do around the apartment. That's not excuse for not going to the gym, it's just that my not going to the gym is excused. Likewise for not eating healthy on vacation. I am on vacation, so I am excused from eating healthy. All of this is to say that my "updating this blog" time happens to fall under excused time. I can't update at work, obviously. I have to eat and sleep and all that good stuff. Add on top that that I am at my job applying apex which means writing cover letter after cover letter. It's not that these are excuses, it's just that I feel that my work/sleep/job application schedule excuses my posting daily. So thank you for your time and consideration. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at any time at...you get the gist. Excused. To the beer drinking!

The Fourth of July! What a holiday! I feel like my "what should Obama send?" post would aptly fit here. Liz and I had planned a glorious day time outing to the new Brooklyn Bridge Park, but it was oppressively hot outside so we stayed in and split a growler. Works for me! We split a growler Two Brothers Long Haul Session Ale (side story here, when we went to go fill the growlers, I wanted to get the Two Brothers Belgian Tripel, but miss "I hate high ABV beers but get mad when people question my beer credentials" said no. What's her deal?). Sessions are generally pretty light, low ABV, drinkable beers. This one fit the latter two descriptions but was weirdly dark and kind of syrupy. I asked Liz if she wished we would have gotten the Tripel. She said no but I think she was lying. That evening we went to my friends roof for the normal watching July 4th fireworks shenanigans were I drank three Yuengling Lagers. Huzzah!

Monday I had one Blue Point Toasted Lager on the couch while watching Party Down on Netflix. Double Huzzah! See you when I next drink a beer!

Total Beers: 543
Where I Should Be: 509.589

Hakim Warrick is the Greatest Ball Player on Earth

2010-07-04T11:45:00.002-04:00

The summer heat is apparently sucking out all of my writing ability/motivation. We've been trying to keep the AC off in our apartment, for the whole money saving thing, making it pretty sweltering in our place at times. I don't even know what I'm going on about here. Let's just cut this excuse making opening paragraph and go straight to the drinking.

Ok, so this is a sort of interesting coincidence. Wednesday night Liz and I went out to dinner due to the magic of groupon. Well, just so happens that the restaurant we go to is right by Bierkraft, so we bring our growlers and fill them up. We drink the first of them on Wednesday night, 21st Amendment's Bitter American, an English style bitter, but when they say bitter, they aren't joking. This beer had mad hops. Some might say this beer's hops were Hakim Warrick-esque (I'm still talking myself into this thing, bare with me). Anyway, that pours 2 for me. What's funny, though, is that my parents are at the 21st Amendment Brewery in San Francisco LITERALLY AS I AM TYPING THIS! I have no idea what beers they are drinking (maybe I'll have my mom type up a report when they get back home) but I know what ever it is, it is delicious. As I've mentioned, 21st Amendment might be one of the best brewpubs I've ever been to. After we kick the growler, I have a Harlem Sugar Hill Golden Ale, which prompts Liz to play the Sugar Hill Gang all evening while drinking it. It was a weirdly molasses-y beer. Almost sickly sweet. I appreciate that Harlem is trying to get in on the beer making, but it needs to up its game something fierce.

Thursday, in another weird San Francisco beer drinking/my parents being there moment, Liz and I went to the Gate for a Speakeasy Brewery event. Speakeasy is another great San Fran brewery (also, their website is www.goodbeer.com which I think is pretty cool) and they had I think 9 of their beers on tap at the gate. I had a Ritual Coffee Porter, an imperial porter made with some local San Fran Coffee, and their Betrayal Ale, an India Red Ale, which is exactly what you'd think it would be, a super hoppy red ale, except this clocked in at around 10%. So while I'm drinking this San Fran beer, my dad calls me from San Francisco. Ok, that's not as fortuitous as my parents being at a brewery I'm writing about while I'm writing about it, but still I thought it was interesting (I'm easily amused). At home I had a Lagunitas 13, their imperial red ale, meaning I had 2 imperial-ish red ales in one day. What are the odds???!!!!

Friday was one of those days where I drank a lot but it didn't seem like it because it was super spread out. I had the day off of work, so I had a Simpler Times Lager with lunch. Then I napped, walked around and did stuff, and then I had a Simpler Times Lager with dinner. Then we went to visit a sick friend who provided us with Bud Light Lime, which I hesitate to call a beer. Then later I went to a different friend's party where I had two Harpoon Summer Ales and a Sam Adams Summer ale. So I had six beers on the day but it felt like a 2 or 3 beer day.

Saturday I had a Blue Point Summer Copper Ale with dinner, and then a Blue Point Blueberry Ale hanging out with the apartment!

I'll see you all here tomorrow! Promise! Maybe!

Total Beers: 536

Where I Should Be: 504.109

Drinking for Democracy

2010-06-30T20:30:00.001-04:00

I've been trying to take it easy this week. As you can see, it's been pretty successful... until last night. It wasn't anything too crazy and it wasn't even my fault. Because I'm a classy guy, I run in crazy elite circles. As part of my being one of New York's best and brightest socialites, I have to go to a fundraiser or two. Wait, no. Just one. I've been to one fundraiser. Ever. And it was last night. And I didn't even donate funds. So the deal is that a friend of mine was throwing a fundraiser for a New York state senate candidate. But he was throwing it at a bar. It's the first fundraiser he's thrown at this bar and he wanted to make sure could throw future events at that place. But he was concerned about the bar tab. If the bar gave him an entire floor and no one bought drinks, he probably wouldn't be welcomed back there. Enter yours truly. My friend told me I could go for free so long as I got drinks. So I did. Not an absurd amount (2 Sierra Nevada Summerfests, 2 Brooklyn Pilsners), but I'd say about three more drinks than most of the paying supporters. So while I hadn't wanted to drink, I had to do my part for democracy. In the future I will tell my grandkids how my drinking four beers directly led to the ousting of the most anti-gay rights member of the New York state senate. After all, I am, if nothing else, a patriot.

Total Beers: 522
Where I Should Be: 493.150

I Wanted To Post "Rotten Mind" But Embedding Was Disallowed

2010-06-29T23:09:00.000-04:00

Total Beers: 518, for now and forever (not really)
Where I Should Be: 490.410

Spring Breakdown Is Amazing

2010-06-28T20:05:00.001-04:00

I told you I would do this. I drank no beers last night. Watch the lead crumble, CRUMBLE! Oh, by the by, did you hear Obama gave Johnny Q. England a Goose Island 312 Urban Whear? Way to go president! What a guy! Seriously though, that's awesome. I'll pen a million word essay about it in the future, but suffice it to say, this almost makes up for his weak-sauce Elena Kagan pick.

Total Beers: Still 518
Where I Should Be: 487.671

I'm Back With a Half-Assed Post!

2010-06-27T09:37:00.001-04:00

I'm just setting all kinds of records here. After putting up my 500th beer, I walk away from this blog for the longest period since its inception. Crazy, I know. But after doing something as monumental as drinking 500 beers, I had to go off the grid for a while. I went out to the desert, down about nine bulbs of peyote, and channelled my inner beer spirit guide, and just now returned to the land of living. Not really. I just went to work and drank intermittently. Also I wanted to let my 500th beer post stand on its own two feet for a while. So the last time I updated about drinking was about the beer fest on Saturday. Well the next time I had beer was on Tuesday night, Liz and I split a growler of Brooklyn Brewery's Buzzbomb, their honey belgian ale (I had 3). The next beer drinking took place on Thursday night where I had four beers, one Brooklyn Summer Ale, 2 Sam Adams Summer Ale, and 1 Blue Point Lager at a combination of the Watering Hole and Reservoir (weird, I just now connected those two bars as having water connections) while watching the NBA draft. Friday, I had an Oskar Blues Pils at the apartment (our last beer in our place), and then had three Brooklyn Summers and two Heineken Lights (Liz got confused when grabbing the beers from the cooler) at a party at her co-worker's. Saturday I had a Founder's Dirty Bastard (which if I knew more about trademark, I would imagine they'd have a problem with that name) at the Black Rabbit in Greenpoint, and then 2 Brooklyn Pennants and 2 Simpler Times Pilsners at my friend's party. So this week I had 18 beers. When I post the final tally here, it's going to seem like I'm light years ahead, but my lead has already dwindled since the beer fest. I'm telling you, the pace is slowing down. For some reason I'm thinking July is going to be a slow beer month. I may even post on days where I don't drink just to see my enormous lead dwindle. We shall see!

Total Beers: 518
Where I Should Be: 484.931 (remember, this lead is nice and inflated by the brew-fest)

500 BEERS!!!!!!!

2010-06-21T18:00:00.002-04:00

Let's talk about the fallacy of positive instance, perhaps my favorite informal fallacies. You commits this fallacy when you argue for a conclusion based on one result that conforms with your expectations (a positive instance), while ignoring discrepancies and unfavorable results. Perhaps the most famous instance of this type of fallacy is trying to demonstrate you have ESP. So you're sitting at your apartment, thinking of your old friend Spiccoli, who you haven't talked to in five years, and thinking about how great it would be if Spiccoli called. Just that second your phone rings and its your old friend Spiccoli! You were just thinking about how it would be cool if he called and he did! You must be psychic! False. This is the fallacy of positive instance. Think about how many times you thought of an old friend, Spiccoli even, and how many times you thought it would be great if that person called and yet nothing happened. To prove your ESP, you're relying on one positive instance while ignoring heaps and heaps of contrary evidence. This is a statistical coincidence. You do not have ESP. This type of fallacy also occurs a lot when people talk about "God wanted me to do X" or "God wanted me be at Place Y," because something positive/coincidental occurs. Here's a good example of that. Suppose you speak Swahili as a second language. Suppose you're at an airport and you see a lost little boy. Turns out this boy does not speak any English, BUT he does speak Swahili. After talking to him, you find out he's been at the airport, lost all day, trying and failing to communicate with people around him and here you, of all people, sweep in and save this kid, all because you speak Swahili and encounter a kid who needed a Swahili speaker. It's like God wanted you to be at that airport at that time. False. Think about all of the times you've been anywhere and have known Swahili without any remarkable whatsoever happening. Statistical coincidence. Ok, ok, ok. So God may have wanted you to be there, but arguing for it from a positive instance is a silly way to go about it. You do not have ESP. You are not a divine tool (ok, maybe you are, I'm just saying that this is not the way to prove it). You are merely overemphasizing a positive instance while ignoring all of the negative ones. With that said, Satan wanted me to be at the New York Brewfest.

I'm going to jump in with a spoiler alert here. I hit my 500. That's not the story here. The story here is the devil's hand guiding me to my exact 500th beer. We'll start at the very beginning. Brewfest is, well, a brewfest that takes place annually in New York, this year it was on Governors Island. You pay $55, get a 4 oz tasting glasses (which really holds about 6 to 7 oz) and go from brewer to brewer, sampling their wares. As you may remember from the rules, so long as the pour isn't super stingy, I get to count each pour as a beer. Well, when we got there and I started sampling me some beers, I started to feel a little bit cheap about this. I mean not cheap to the point of not counting them like this, but cheap to the point where I placed upon myself a restriction as a sign of good faith toward the project here. I knew I had to drink 17 beers to get to 500. I assumed (correctly) that would I drink more than this. So as a restriction, I said to myself, I am only going to count up to 17 beers from this place. For simplicity's sake, I made it the first 17. This way, I could get my numbers, legibly record the names of the beers I was drinking, and still consume enough beer where I wouldn't feel like recording a 17 was too cheap.

So I start drinking. I start writing down the names of the beers (I'll post the list in a bit) and when I start to hit 13 or 14, I'm putting serious thought into what my 500th beer should be. By this point in time, I've made the rounds of the brewfest and had a pretty good idea of what all was there. I decided I was going to make Brooklyn Brewery's Blast my 500th beer. Seemed pretty appropriate. While I have had it before, I thought a Brooklyn brew would be an appropriate 500th and the Blast was the best they had on tap. So after I down my 16th, I get in line. And wait. And wait. Brooklyn had a HUGE line by this time (seriously, this event was crowded). I'm about 10 to 20 people away from the front when we hear that all they have left on tap is their Lager. Perfect! What could be more appropriate for my 500th beer than the workhorse that brought me so far in this endeavor. Brooklyn Lager. The People's Champ. Forever immortalized as one man's 500th beer of a given year. As the line dwindles, I eagerly await my turn.

Finally, I find myself at the front of the line, glass in hand, ready for my 500th beer. The guy from Brooklyn grabs my glass, puts it under the one tap they have remaining, and lets the lager flow. He hands my glass back to me, filled with delicious, delicious Brooklyn Lager, and then proceeds to shout, "ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT! WE ARE OUT OF BEER!" My 500th beer shut down the Brooklyn tent at the Brewfest. My 500th beer consumed was the last Brooklyn Brewery anything to be served on that island at that brewfest. I should note that at this point in time, the line behind me was still about 40 to 50 people deep. I was meant to be in that line, at that exact time. If I were one person back (or if I let my wife get her glass filled first) I would have been S.O.L. I am but a divine tool of the beer gods. And that is the 100% true story of my 500th beer. I recognize it's not the most insane thing to ever happen, but all things considered I thought it was pretty awesome. Let the record show, it was a Brooklyn Lager. A Brooklyn Lager I was truly destined to drink.

Here's my list, in order drank, of beers I had at the brewfest. I had originally planned on taking notes on all of them, but come on, I had beer to drink. And, so you know, I probably had about 8 to 10 more samples after finishing writing these down, but I stuck with my original convictions and will only count 17. So without further ado.

1. Defiant Muddy Creek
2. Ommegang Hennepin
3. Middle Ages Syracuse Pale Ale
4. River Horse Belgian Tripel
5. Two Brothers Domaine DuPage
6. Strangford Lough Legbiter Ale
7. Peekskill Vanilla Bourbon Stout
8. Oskar Blues Dales Pale Ale
9. Great South Massive
10. 21st Amendment Live Free or Die IPA
11. Fire Island Light House
12. Weyerbacher Merry Monks
13. Weyerbacher Hops Infusion
14. Peekskills Rosemary
15. Long Ireland Ale
16. Great South Blonde Ambition
17...............Brooklyn Lager

I will say that lest my future biographer stumbles upon my notebook and sees that for my 17th, I wrote down Brooklyn Blast, this occurred because I would write the name of the beer down before I drank it in most cases. I corrected them on the fly when I didn't get what I anticipated (as you'll note from all of my scribbles and scratching) but I didn't fix that one because I figured I would remember that I drank a Lager. Sure enough I did!

Well, guys. We're half way there. Take my foot we will not make it I do not swear. I wanted to post an epic reflection on my experiences so far, but you guys have been reading this (I hope). You know what it's been like. Pretty easy sometimes. Pretty difficult at others. As dumb as this sounds, it has been, I think, a really worth while experience. While I've drank slightly more than I would have otherwise, I've written WAY more than I would have otherwise, which I think is a net gain. My experience of sitting down and putting fingers to keys essentially mirrors the drinking. Pretty easy sometimes. Pretty difficult at others. Sometimes I have a lot of fun and write things I'm proud of. On rare occasions I'll write something I regret (you know, because the writing was awful, not that I think I'm over-sharing or whatever). But all in all, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't enjoy it. Through this first half of drinking, I've began to recognize why most of history's greatest writers have drank. And hopefully it should be evident to you after reading this whole blog why history's worst writers drink as well. I'm not even going to put down where I should be. You all know its way ahead of the game. I just want this to stand as is for the time being. And now, to type those powerful but understated words you've all been waiting to see...

Total Beers: 500

NEXT POST IS THE 500th BEER POST

2010-06-19T11:43:00.000-04:00

So this is it. Next post I will be over the half way mark. That's the plan anyway. I put myself in a position for success. Ten beers over the course of the last three days. I'll just briefly run those down here. Wednesday: 1 Brown Shugga, 1 Whitsun on the couch. Thursday: 1 Goose Island Sofie at Bierkraft, 2 Bud American Ales (didn't buy them and they were all they had) at the Celebrate Brooklyn comedy spectacular, 1 Founders Rye at Barbe, and 1 Brown Shugga at home. Friday: 1 Whitsun at home, 2 Bark Rd Ales at Bark. 10 Beers. I'll do the numbers now. And then I'm to the NY Brewfest. I'll have an epic post tomorrow, I'm sure, if I survive this thing. Till then...

Total Beers: 483
Where I Should Be: 463.013

Just the Kiss of Hops

2010-06-16T23:34:00.000-04:00

Criteria number 5: This one is courtesy of my dad. I was thinking of having him do the write up, because as is evident by his sporadic yet hilarious use of Facebook, the internet is the perfect venue for my dad's jokes. Also, this was a really good idea. But don't tell him that. He gives enough unsolicited advice/suggestion/ideas. He doesn't need to know that some of them are actually good. So he calls me and says, "I read your blog. I have a suggest of what Obama should send. Stroh's." His reasoning: Whatever beer Obama picks (assuming its not a macro) will probably see an increase in sales. The President of the United States says its the best beer. Ok, well I have to try it. So, if a bunch of people are going to spend their money on something, why not have that something be from a particularly economically depressed part of the country? What fits that criteria better than Detroit?

I like this idea. I mean, I don't think Stroh's is the choice here because 1) It's owned by Pabst now, and Pabst is most certainly not a Detroit company. Some funds may find their way flowing through Detroit on account of a small uptick in Stroh's, but it can no longer be said that it's a solely Detroit based operation. 2) If it's about increasing sales, I just don't see it for Stroh's. A lot of people have had it and stopped buying it. Honestly, the only "new" market I think Stroh's has is hipsters, and if someone as mainstream as the president recommended it, well, count them out. 3) It's quite awful. Although, I will say I did spend a fair amount of time drinking a Stroh's product, Schlitz, in grad school. It was a dollar a can out at the bars. You can't beat that. Also, their wikipedia page is pretty funny. Here's a line from it:

"Stroh's strategy when seeking to enter the market for a new type of beer was to extend one or more of its existing brands. In the increasingly popular non-alcoholic beer segment, for example..."

Come on. That's rich. But again, I like the sentiment. There are a lot of great Michigan microbrews. As I type this I'm drinking one (Arcadia). Some of them are even nationally distributed. Bells is great. I'm not saying it should be Bells, or even a beer from Detroit/Michigan. But the idea that it should be a beer that will pump some money into a region of the country that desperately needs it I think is a good one. So there we go, another criteria for your consideration courtesy of my pops. Still no answers or suggestions from me, but I like what you guys have been doing so far, so keep it up!

Total Beers: 473 (second verse, same as the first, that is the same two beers in the same circumstance as yesterday)
Where I Should Be: 454.794

Me, Obama, and My Favorite Brewpub

2010-06-15T21:26:00.000-04:00

Not to sound like some dopey 2008 Oberlin undergrad, but that picture gives me hope. Hope in a lot of stuff but in particular, hope that Obama will make the right decision when it comes to this. Obama and King George himself made a wager over some fancy soccer tournament which I believe is called the World Genitals Protector. The winner gets a beer from the loser. Not just any beer, but his country's "best" beer. Obama has made similar bets in the past, but they involved objective standards. He bet the Czar of Canada a Yuengling (as the loser of the bet would owe the winner a case of beer from his country's oldest brewery) the U.S. would beat Canada in some sporting event, which I'm sure the U.S. won, unless it was on ice or something. It was? Well Molson sucks. They can keep it.

Even though Obama and beer are probably best linked through the infamous "beer summit" where he drank a Bud Light, here's why the picture gives me hope. You recognize where it's taken? That's Bethlehem Brew Works. You might have heard me talk about that place a couple of times. You might also know that they're first organization to reference this blog! Anyway, as if this needed repeating, they make some dope beer. Clearly Obama knows. He's drinking it! Also, he apparently made the smart decision to order a sampler, but the moronic decision to split it. Obama knows there is such a thing as "good" beer, despite the fact he drank that Bud Light. He knows that. Just look at that picture. I'm not saying he necessarily has a super refined palate or even that he enjoys "good" beer. I'm just saying that he knows its out there, which is more than a lot of people know. That's why I have hope. It's nice having a president that enjoys beer. Bush's teetotalism was probably was the worst part about his presidency. Just kidding!*

So let's cut to the chase here. We have two questions (not four because who the hell cares what that limey, Monarchist** thinks over there in Foggy [more like Farty] Ol' London [more like Lon-dumb]?): 1) What should Obama pick? 2) What will Obama pick? The first is obviously more fun to think about you're not a total dork. The second is more fun to think about if you know stuff about domestic/international politics. I think I might contract out an answer to the second question to a guy I know that actually knows about those things AND beer. I mean this dood studied European labor laws in Belgium. He'd be perfect!

Anyways, I'm not going to answer the first question. Not right now anyway. I want some feedback in the comments. What do you guys think he should pick? I don't have any beer examples right now, but here are my current thoughts on what should probably be some criteria.

1) I hate to state the obvious but no macros for a million obvious reasons.

2) The brewery should be 100% USA owned and operated.

3) The beer should have national distribution. This one kind of kills me because this cuts out things like Weyerbacher and Brooklyn Brewery, but this is America's best beer, not the East Coast's best beer. And why should the President of the United States ship some stupid Queen-Fiend a beer that more than half the citizens of the USA can't get their hands on? But this one isn't totally damning. There are a lot of great craft brews that have nation-wide distribution.

4) The style of beer should be uniquely/originally American. Although I am of two minds of this. Originally I thought this would apply to things like Belgian Ales. While the USA makes some solid Belgian Ales, we don't want to show England we can make some other country's beer. We want to show them we can make our beer. But then I realized: this would prohibit IPAs because, as we should all know, India Pale Ales owe their origins to those imperialistic dill-hole Brits sailing over to India. This kind of sucks because America makes the best IPAs in the world. No one does hops like the USA. But you know what, I think Double or Imperial IPAs are pretty much originally American, so I don't think those would necessarily be out. But here's my other mind about this: Wouldn't it be sweet to show those a-holes how much better our IPAs are than theirs in a sort of "anything you can do I can do better" way? Like, oh, you guys invented IPAs? Well guess what? Much like imperialism and The Office, while you guys created them, we made our versions so good that yours are practically obsolete. But here's where my third mind comes in (I can't count): those lame-os would probably would probably get all snooty and be like "Well I say chaps, that isn't a real IPA" or something to that extent. But that would mean that our IPAs are originally America. I don't know. This whole thing is like a snake eating itself. So the conclusion of this point is that Belgian ales, hefes, saisons, those types of things should probably be out. IPAs, well that's debatable.

I'll probably think of more criteria as I start to formulate what I think he should send, but I really would like some suggestions in the comments. If we pick a beer, I will personally send Obama a letter letting him know of our choice. I'll sign my real name and everything. Hey, if Bethlehem Brew Works can give us here a shout out, why not President Obama?

Total Beers: 471 (last night I drank an Arcadia Whit Sun and a Lagunitas Brown Shugga on the couch)
Where I Should Be: 452.054

*There were no bad parts about Bush's presidency, am I right, Grandma?
**This used to be a legitimate insult back during the USA's infancy. USA! USA! USA!

Satan You're My Lady, Stick Me With Your Pitchfork Thing

2010-06-14T19:57:00.000-04:00

Tonight I wanted to put up a big post about what beer President Obama could send the King of England or whoever is in charge over there that would 1) represent the "best" beer in America, and 2) stick it to those limey bastards. However, I'm tired man. Tonight was my night to cook dinner and I chose to make eggplant parm (of which I make a pretty mean version), but it takes a million hours to make. And in a weird system the wife and I have set up, whoever (whomever?) makes dinner cleans the dishes that night (we don't have a dishwasher), so after making a dinner that entails using something like 87,000 pots and pans, I have to wash them all. Suffice it to say, I'm a little burnt (I also went to work today, or something like that). Anyway, I'll drop some insights on you all tomorrow. But for now: last night I had an Arcadia Whitsun and an Oskar Blues Pils sitting on the couch watching Party Down. Good times!

Total Beers: 469
Where I Should Be: 449.315

USA? USA? USA?

2010-06-13T09:47:00.001-04:00

All right chumps and chumpettes. You want to be there for the 500th beer? Well, come on down to the New York Brewfest. It's next Saturday. You might notice that as of the last posting, I was 47 beers down. You might think that's a lot to cover in a week. Yeah, I think that too. But here's the deal. I don't need to cover all of it. The Brewfest operates like, well, a brewfest. You get a four ounce glass and get to go nuts with the tasting. So let's say I get to 480 before that Saturday (which I think is doable). I'll only need to have 20 tastings to get to 500, which is a whopping total of 80 ounces. I can do that. Anyway, that's the announcement. Next Saturday. Be there. Till then I'll be here, working on my numbers. About those....

The past couple (three) days have been a roller coaster of beer drinking. Thursday night I had four beers. Liz and I like to do this thing where we each pick out two six packs in lieu of buying a case of something. Well I picked out Lagunitas Brown Shugga and Arcadia's Whitsun Ale. Liz picked out Sly Fox's Phoenix Pale Ale and Oskar Blues Mama's Little Yella Pils (she was going for a canned theme). I had one of each. The Brown Shugga is a barley wine (so I'm already on board) made with, I believe the technical term is a "shit ton" of brown sugar. It's pretty sweet and really drinkable. It's supposed to be a winter offering, but the beer distributor by my place sells all kinds of beers out of season, which is pretty cool. The other three beers are all pretty self explanatory. I will say that the Arcadia beer is really, really good. It's way, way thicker than you'd imagine and is ridiculously refreshing. While I liked the Oskar Pils, I think it definitely ranks as my least favorite Oskar offering, which isn't to take anything away from it. As with the Whitsun, it's a pretty good summer beer. It clocks in at 5.3% ABV, which I only note because Oskar Blues' website notes that it's a low alcohol content beer by their standards, which I thought was funny.

Friday: no beers.

Saturday: 10 beers. See, roller coaster? I will say that honest-to-Satan, I did not intend to drink 10 beers on Saturday. And these were ten legit beers. Yesterday some soccer thing happened apparently.

Anyway, I have a British friend. Weird, I know, as Brits are so unlikable, but this guy's ok. Well I went over to his place to chant "USA! USA! USA!" in his face for a couple of hours during the big USA-UK tie-fest-a-palooza. Before I left, I had a Brown Shugga at my apartment around 12:30. During the game, I had two Brooklyn Lagers, a Brooklyn Brown Ale, and a Sam Adams Black Lager. That was going to be it, FOR THE DAY. But, BUT, someone else at the party left half a 25 oz bottle of Unibroue's Trois Pistoles just sitting on their counter. So I poured out a full pint from that. Then I really thought I was done. Turns out I was not. There was a birthday party last night that everyone and their mother was going to, so of course I went. Well first I went home and napped for a couple of hours, and then I went. The party was at Gallery Bar, where in addition to buying drinks, you could buy things such as a painting of a hipster caveman stalking a rodent for the low, low price of 3,200 dollars. Suffice it to say, I had anticipated only buying one beer and then leaving. Well I bought Liz and I a round of Land Sharks (their tap selection was not that great, and by that I mean it was awful, as you can tell from me buying Land Shark). I go buy another later (including some drinks for the birthday girl). Now my tab should include 4 beers as well as a couple of mixed drinks, which surely should put me over their 25 dollar credit card limit. Turns out, they didn't put about three or so of those drinks on my tab, so when I go to close, I am informed that I have to buy two more beers to get to the 25 dollar limit. So I get another round o' Land Sharks, Liz doesn't want hers so I end up drinking the two. So, because of the bartender's error, I have to drink essentially two free beers. Sometimes life can be so hard. A total of six beers and two or three mixed drinks for 25 bucks in a fancy Manhattan bar. Thus goes the story of me accidentally drinking 10 beers in a day. Also, fyi, I woke up today at 8:30 in the morning feeling perfectly fine, which is pretty cool!

Total: Beers: 467
Where I Should Be: 446.575

Getting My Nixon On

2010-06-10T21:40:00.001-04:00

This entry is short because I've been spending my beer writing energies elsewhere. Hopefully you will all see soon! But I just want to say that last night I had two Harpoon UFOs, their raspberry hefeweizen, which might hold the title of the most drinkable beer on the planet. Additionally, today I got the last of my grades for my first semester of 1000-beering-while-going-to-school. I was nervous at first. If things went south, I would have maybe, MAYBE, have to re-think this whole endeavor. But they didn't, so in your ear, naysayers! Nothing bad will ever happen to me! I live a comeuppance free lifestyle! I'm going to live forever! (RIP Ass Dan). That's all for now! Also, I'm with in days, DAYS of announcing my 500th beer day. It'll be awesome. I have a mini-goal. I might die (of excitement!).

Total Beers: 453
Where I Should Be: 438.356

Links!

2010-06-09T21:45:00.002-04:00

As foretold in the Dead Beer Scrolls, I have thus far taken it easy and consumed zero beers in the past two nights (spoiler alert, that's a dry spell that is ending as we speak). But in the grand tradition of this blog (saying you're going to do something and then not doing it?), I'ma puttin' up some links!

First, my first taste of fame. Yours truly gets a shout out from the famed Bethlehem Brew Works. Check it out here! Scroll down a tic and you will see them mention the very post that precedes this one! In fairness, they quote me talking about how great their veggie burgers are, but anything that draws people (except for current and potential employers) to this site is a boon! (Also, I'm pretty jazzed that the blurb on their facebook case contains the opening paragraph of my last post which contains one of the most amazing jokes I've ever penned.)

Well outside of that, we'll have a politics theme. We're talking state and federal politics!

Beer Tax Proposal Lifts Boston Beer Stock. Good news for Sam Adams! Bad news for people that hate craft beer (no one)!

Before I even post this link, I just want to say that this is indicative of marijuana's chances of being legalized soon. I'm not even going to say if its indicative of those chances being good or bad (or if I care). But given that Oklahoma Just Now Legalized Homebrewing, something George Effing Washington himself did, what do you think the odds are that it's getting ready to let every Sooner start blazing up? Good? Poor? Super duper poor? (Hint: I think it's the last thing).

Gaming the System

2010-06-07T21:39:00.002-04:00

Oooooh boy. Saturday Saturday I had 11 beers and got super wasted! PSYCHE! I only had two beers. DOUBLE PSYCHE! I actually had no beers. TRIPLE PSYCHE! Ok, now that you've take a ride on the tri-psyche-le, I will say I had 11 beers on Saturday. That is no lie. The lie (and subsequent psyche) is that I did not get super wasted. The truth is...I gamed the system. Saturday consisted of two breweries and 11 flight-sized samples. As per the rules, which you all agreed upon when we started this thing (check your contract), those get to count as a beer a piece. I didn't start the day out intending to game the system, but then I did. So let's discuss!

Saturday, in a shameful (but appreciated) attempt to get more than a passing "I drank a beer on the in-laws couch," the in-laws decided to up the ante and take me and, for some reason, my wife (their daughter) to the Lancaster Brewing Company in, of all places, Lancaster, PA.

Lancaster Brewing is most well-known for its Milk Stout. Well, it's not known at all if you live outside of PA/NJ/DE/DC. They don't even have distribution up in NY. Anyway, I've had a rocky history with their Milk Stout. I first had it prior to my becoming a beer snob and I did not care for it all, but that's to be expected. After my Enlightenment, I tried it again expecting to be pleasantly surprised. I was surprised, but not pleasantly. Still didn't like it! I set the Milk Stout aside, expecting to never cross its path again. But lo and behold, I found myself at the Lancaster Brewery. I was pretty excited to have their Strawberry Wheat (a pretty solid strawberry wheat beer, in case you couldn't deduce that from its name) and their Hop Hop, an IPA, which oddly enough, only registers a 55 on the IBU scale and is the highest IBU beer they have. I didn't know what else they had, but I was about to find out. Liz and I split a sampler of the 11 beers they had on tap (her parents and her brother split a sampler as well). I picked six and she picked five, draft style. It was a draft draft! I am amazing at wordplay. Here's the aftermath:

Here's the thing. While I'm a-samplin', I didn't write down the names of all the beers thinking that Lancaster would put all their beers up on their website. Well, I suppose in a tribute to the Amish that inhabit the surrounding glen in their igloos, Lancaster only used the old fashion "chalk on blackboard" to give the names of some of the beers and didn't post them on the interwebs. So here are the names I definitely remember: Lightning Lager (a really light, drinkable lager, not flavorless, but not flavor-ful per se), HopHop (mentioned that earlier), Celtic Rose (an Irish lager, don't remember too much about it but it was good!), the Milk Stout (which I actually liked! Crazy!), and another honey ale called Rumspringa or something like that that was super awesome, I almost liked it better than the Brooklyn one, and a Hefeweizen. Well look at that. I honestly didn't think I would remember them all when I began typing but whatdayaknow? All in all, Lancaster was pretty dope. The guy who gave us the tour seemed super nervous for some reason. Probably because he could tell he was in the presence of greatness.

Later that night we all went out to Bethlehem Brew Works, which I believe I have mentioned a million times. Here's a picture of it:

If they put in strip club, it would be hedonism central. Their veggie burgers are super awesome. I don't generally get pysched over veggie burgers, but these I do. Additionally, they have some beer. Some super awesome beer. I figured I wanted to take it kind of easy in the upcoming week, so I figured since I already started gaming the system, well, game on! That was awful. I am sorry. Truly sorry. Anyway, instead of getting a beer, I got another sampler. It was a sampler of six but I decided to pass on the raspberry beer to the ol' father-in-law on account of me being a really nice guy (and he paid for it and I didn't like it and he did, but mainly because I'm a nice guy). In this sampler was the aforementioned Machine sHop (which was really sweet, sweeter than the last time I had it), the aforementioned Stumbling Monk (ok, the name was aforementioned, but it's the belgian ale I had last time whose name eluded me, and also it tasted way spicier this time, which I really appreciated), their Steelgaarden Wit, Hefeweizen, and their Double Brown Ale (which was surprisingly watery). So that's the story of me drinking 11 beers in one day. The next day (Sunday) I had a total of one Sam Adams Coastal Wheat back at my apartment.

This week I plan on drinking no more than one beer a day. That's the plan. But I think I'm approaching 500 beers, which is a pretty momentous occasion. I want to do something for 500, and I've got a couple plans in the works, so I may have to drink a few more this week to meet deadlines and all. I know that was super vague, but this blog is nothing if not convoluted. Now, time for some astronomical numbers.

Total Beers: 451
Where I Should Be: 430.136

No Time For A Title!

2010-06-05T10:23:00.001-04:00

Not being able to update from my work is sort of killing me. I have a whopping total of four free hours a day, and those hours have been booked this week, hence the lack of updates. Even this one has to be brief because I'm at the in-laws and on my way out to a wedding in ten minutes so no time to dawdle! To the drinking!

Wednesday had a nice little date with the wife. We went to Dos Toros for dinner where I had a Tecate. We had tickets for Gods of Carnage that evening, so we decided to make a nice touristy evening of it by going to the ESPNZone bar in Times Square where I had a Sam Adams Summer Ale. It was either there or one of the million fake Irish pubs, but if you recall (I'll link to that later, time crunch!) we've been burned by those before.

Thursday my friend Dave arrived at our apartment. We went to Washington Commons where I had an Ommegang Rare Vos and a Jack d'or Pretty Things. I want to talk about both those beers but no time! Then we went home where I had a Sam Adams Coastal Wheat.

Friday I had one beer. A Sam Adams 48*Latitude (can't figure out how to insert the proper symbol now). That's it! I'll crunch the numbers later! (Sunday). I just wanted to get the beers I had up before I forgot what they are. And yes, I realize that if I didn't spend so much time complaining about how there isn't any time, I could have written more. I am a man of many contradictions.

Insert video of the Jesse from Saved by the Bell freaking out about how there's Never Any Time! Actually, just go watch it yourself!

P Diddy's St. Barts Vacation Yacht

2010-06-02T23:05:00.000-04:00

Holy hell people. Updating while working full time is hard. All in all, I have to say that not working the bulk of the year has made this whole "drinking 1000 beers" thing easier than it otherwise would have been. Well, the drinking beers is still pretty easy. It's the opening up the laptop and putting fingers to the keyboard that is difficult. It would be sweet if I could update from work, but on account of the whole "that's not a good idea" thing I don't. Anyway, that's my precursor as to why these updates may be infrequent/short while I get used to this whole 9 to 5 ordeal.

So Monday I had a whopping total of one beer, a Six Point Bark Red Ale at Bark with my dinner. After that I called it quits, playing the responsibility card and not wanting to go into my first day of work hungover. Tuesday I actually got in my required 3 beers, 2 Lagunitas Censoreds and a big bottle of the Shmaltz Jewbelation 13 that I split with Liz. That 13 was pretty intense. As Liz mentioned, it's 13%, and while you'd definitely know it was a super high ABV beer, it is super drinkable, as evidenced by my downing it pretty quickly. I thought it would be really syrupy but it wasn't! If you like extreme yet drinkable beer, I'd recommend it.

Well that's it. I'm going to bed. Sorry, I've used up all my wit and charm on small talk and banter with new coworkers. Their gain is your loss. But as soon as they tire with my nonsense, which if experience teaches anything will be soon, I'll need another outlet for it and you better believe that will again be this blog.

Total Beer: 433
Where I Should Be: 416.438

Haircut Day is the Worst Day of the Year

2010-05-31T20:00:00.001-04:00

Posting...posting...man. This is tough. After a couple of long posts, I think this one will be pretty short. But, BUT, you'll get all the information you need. Saturday night Liz and I drank some of those Coney Island brews. First, to get warmed up I guess, I had a Lagunitas Censored. After that Liz and I split a Coney Island Blockhead and then we each had a Coney Island R.I.P.A. Information about those beers can of course be found here. See? I told you you wouldn't be bereft of information. The only thing I can add is that they all sort of tasted like sadness. Sunday during the day we took a little trip to the Brooklyn Brewery. We thought we'd only have a beer or two there, but the best laid plans of mice and men and all. I ended up having a Summer, a Blast, and 3 Buzz Bombs, some beer with honey that was pretty dope and named after a Dead Kennedys song. Also, while we were there we shared a table with a 20-something woman and her mom. They bought a whole pound of cheese and a loaf of bread and took it to the brewery with the intention of making friends. Well, they certainly made at least one. I'd say more about it, but I'm pretty posted out right now! I start work tomorrow, which means that the numbers should go down, but I promise the posting will go up!

Total Beers: 429

Where I Should Be: 410.958

Beat LA! Beat LA!

2010-05-29T11:04:00.000-04:00

So everyone in the country is a little peeved at Arizona right now, right? I get that. I mean as Arizona's favorite son, I understand, and mostly agree, with these sentiments. So when I came back to visit my family I thought, hell, if I can get my undergraduate university honor's program to slightly modify its recruitment brochure (and it only took me two terms as president to do that!) then clearly I can fix this whole immigration ordeal in Arizona. Because, as should be evident, when I set my mind to something, I do it. Except when I don't. Let's be real, I get lazy sometimes. So did I fix all of Arizona's problems? I mean, if Arizona didn't have enough beer drinking done within its borders, then I guess I slightly fixed that problem. Immigration? Not so much. So while Arizona does have problems with its laws, its racist, racist, sheriff, and, well, a lot of other things, it does have some good things going for it! Like check out Arizona's state flag:

Pretty great, right? Coolest state flag in the states if you ask me. You know another good thing Arizona has going for it? Its beers (I bet none of you saw that one coming. You know, on account of being idiots and all [Way to keep your readership happy, Ryan!]). Well, Wednesday through Friday, I drank a few solid Arizona brews. Let's dive in, shall we?

I did a lot of afternoon/lunchtime beer drinking out here. This started on Wednesday when my whole family went out to the San Tan Brewing Company for lunch. San Tan is a small brewery in Chandler that is mostly famous for getting in a trademark dispute with ASU over the use of the name Sun Devil Ale. Turns out, though, they also make some phenomenal beer. This may sound odd, but I tend to be a little skeptical of brewpubs that have no distribution outside of the brewpub. The beers, while generally pretty good, never really turn out to be something to write home about. Well, San Tan turns out to be an exception. Their HopShock IPA was phenomenal. It might be the most floral IPA I've ever tasted. Its a shame they don't bottle that because I buy the eff out of it. Also good, their Hefeweizen. Not as good as their IPA, but a pretty solid beer. If anything, a little too on the banana-y side, but still pretty good!

After lunch, we went back and I split a big bottle of Deshutes Mirror Pond Ale, which is just a really, really good pale ale. Deshutes is a pretty great brewery from Bend, OR. However, its distribution hasn't made it out east yet, so the only time I ever have it is when I am in Arizona. While I like limited distribution in theory, as I think its kind of neat when you can only get certain beer in certain locations and also it prevents all of American from becoming one homogenous strip mall, it does kind of stink when I can get a lot of California and Pacific Northwest brews out in New York. Similarly, it blows my mind that no one in Arizona can get their hands on Brooklyn or Weyerbacher beers. Well after the Mirror Pond, I had a Firestone Walker Double Barrel Ale. Don't let the "Double" fool you. It's an English bitter clocking in at 5%. My dad loved this beer. Me? I thought it was perfectly drinkable, but nothing to write home (or on the internet! zing!) about. My dad picked up a six pack because my friend told him it was the best beer he had ever had. Well, drink more beers, my dad's friend.

Speaking of my dad, you might recall that he didn't think this blog was the greatest idea in the world, because I mean who wouldn't want their son to spend thousands of dollars on drinking an enormous amount of alcohol and then post about for all the world and potential employers to see? But Thursday, my dad set the drinking pace with six beers! At times he was one ahead of me! We went out to lunch at Four Peaks, perhaps Arizona's most famous (and probably best) microbrewery after an aborted attempt to go to a different AZ brewery, Papago Brewery. At Four Peaks at had their Oatmeal Stout which is really good. Not as chocolately as most oatmeal stouts tend to be and I appreciated that. We also picked up a growler of their Hop Knot IPA, another fantastic IPA. Arizona, it would seem, loves itself some hops. Well back home my dad and I split the growler, three full pint a piece, while getting our hearts broken by the lunatic Ron Artest. So we finish the growler (or should I say he finished his third beer while I'm still drinking mine), we're both at four beers on the day, and lo and behold, my dad walks downstairs with another beer! I'm not going to let this guy pass me, so I drain my beer, and go up and grab another Firestone DBA. Well, we finish those, and guess what? Another round of DBAs! I think my dad has a problem. Him and Liz should both go get help. (I should also note that my mom had about 3 or 4 beers over the course of this day as well. I don't know what it is about my presence that drives my parents to drink, but if it means more beer for me, well I'll take it!)

Friday was a Tale of Two Ryans. An old friend, and Friend of the Blog (who also happens to share my namesake), and I met up for lunch at the Main Ingredient, a pretty sweet house-turned-restaurant out in Phoenix. There I had a Four Peaks Sunbru (their Kolsch-style ale) and a Odell Red Ale, both on tap and both, get this $2.50 a piece!!!!!!!!! Insane. Absolutely insane. I don't know if the restaurant is staffed by illegal migrant workers, but 2.50 for quality craft brew? Some things about Arizona aren't so bad. But here's something about Arizona that IS bad. No public transportation to think of. I had to think about what beers I got based on the fact that I had to drive home. For my second round I wanted to get a Stone Imperial Russian Stout, but then thought about its ABV content, and then thought about my drive, and then thought about how its probably not a good idea to drink a 10% beer and then get my car for forty minutes. So I opted for the Four Peaks kolsch, a beer with literally half the alcohol content. In NYC, never a problem. I drink what I want, when I want (that's not even remotely true). But given that Arizona, while superior to NY in state flags, is inferior to NY in having subways and stuff. So out here Responsibility is my first, middle, and last name. And here I have been trying to keep my identity secret. Well, it's out there now. This blog is written by Responsibility Responsibility Responsibility. At home that night I had another Deshutes Inversion IPA (a lot of IPAs, I know) and thus ended my Arizona drinking.

So states I've drank in: NY, AZ, CT, and PA. Watch out, other 44 states in the continental US, you're next (except for probably Utah, your 3.something limit on alcohol content is too stupid for words).

Total Beers: 421

Where I Should Be: 405.479

Ron Artest's Infinite Intensity

2010-05-28T12:11:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to drop by here real quick and let you know that a big ol' Arizona post is dropping tomorrow. I've got a few hours to kill in the Phoenix airport, which seems like a perfect posting time, and PHX, unlike EWR, has free WiFi. So stay tuned!

Fixing SB1070 One Beer At A Time

2010-05-26T13:03:00.000-04:00

I don't mean to drown out Liz's excellent post here, but I've got to put some numbers up here or I'll start to forget about all the beer I drank. So, appropriately enough, I had my 400th beer in Arizona with my dad (and mom and sister) at Red, White, and Brew. It was a Four Peaks Kiltlifter, a Scottish Ale made out in Tempe. It's a pretty good beer and my dad wanted you all to know that it's his favorite. I followed that up with a Four Peaks 8th Street Ale, their pale ale, and as far as pale ales go, it's ok, not the hoppiest thing in the world but not super un-hoppy if that makes any sense (it didn't).

I like that restaurant Red, White, and Brew, but their waitress did something that absolutely drives me crazy. I should start by saying that this place has "Brew" in its title. The place has beer. I know that. I've been there. But when I asked her what's on tap, she proceeded to give me a very detailed litany of their copious amount of macro-brews and then, almost as an aside, said "and we have some Four Peaks beers." After I asked her which ones they had (they had 4!) she told me and I ordered. But you're telling me that you thought it was necessary to say that you had Bud AND Bud Light AND Miller AND Miller Lite, but you thought it was ok to just lump all of your microbrews into a quick, "and we have some Four Peaks beers"? Poor form waitress, poor form (not to be confused with poor pour form, which could theoretically be something, or poor pore pour form, which, if that's something, it's super gross). The only worse response she could have given me, and I kid you not when I say that I get this a lot when I ask "What's on tap," is "Everything." Ok, well then bring me back a Westvleteren 12 or else you're a filthy liar who, as a result of your awful, awful lies, is going straight to hell.

After the restaurant we went back home and my dad and I split large bottle of Stone Ruination IPA. My parents' place was filled to the brim with IPAs in anticipation of my arrival. Have to say, it was appreciated.

Tuesday, my mom, dad, and I went golfing. While golfing I had an Oskar Blues Gordon Ale, what they describe as a "double red/imperial IPA," that clocks in at around 9%. It was canned and delicious. Before you think the golf courses out here are super dope and stocked with microbrews, they're not. We brought our own beer. In the hierarchy of "Sports You Can Drink Beer While Playing," I'd have to say golf if easily in the top three. I'm not going to say that drinking a beer made a super golfer. That's it. You expected a "I'm not going to say...but..." But the but just wasn't there. Don't let it ruin your day.

After golf we went to my grandma's place to have some dinner and watch the Suns game. There I had an Oak Creek Nut Brown Ale (brewed in Sedona, AZ!), a Sierra Nevada Anniversary Ale, and a Deshutes Inversion IPA. Once again, before you think my grandma's place is stocked with sweet beer, it's not. We brought our own. Then we went to my parents' where I had another Deshutes and a Full Sail Pale ale while hanging out with the family. So that's my Arizona drinking so far. Not bad if I do say so myself!

Total Beers: 408
Where I Should Be: 397.260

Michigan's Loss is New York's Gain

2010-05-25T22:19:00.006-04:00

Its'a Me! Liz! As we all know, Ryan split and is on the West Coast exercising and playing golf. I am holding down the hedonistic fort over here in New York by drinking beers and eating pizza. Yesterday, I accomplished this by laying on the couch with the pizza box on the table, a 6-pack next to the couch, and my PJs on. Today, I got dressed and left the house. But it's all the same.

This post may ramble and be super beer-filled (like me!), but I'm going to do my best to describe my evening without putting you all to sleep.

In Park Slope there is an awesome place called Bierkraft. This place has an amazing by-the-bottle beer selection, a great 10-15 taps for filling growlers, and the best sandwiches in the world (which are made with their incredible selection of artisan meats, cheeses, and spreads). Recently, they added the rule that made it so you can buy the beers and drink them there at their picnic tables. So, a great date is picking 2 bottles of beer, 2 sandwiches, and then getting a growler (or two) filled to go. It's a nice walk and super yummy.

Today, however, I had no sandwich. I got there at 6:30 and got a Sly Fox IPA. It was very good, and for $2.80 to sit with my book and hang out, it beats any bar in the area. At 7:00, the fun began.

On Tuesdays at 7pm, Bierkraft has a tasting. Generally, (like tonight) they are hosted by a brewery who sends a representative to talk about the beers and then they hope you'll buy their beers. Other times they choose a type of beer (Double IPAs or something) and do a cross-brewery tasting of that style with a discussion led by a staff member from Bierkraft.

Today's tasting was led by the founder and owner of Shmaltz Brewery. Going in, I knew very little about them. I see them around, but had honestly only had three of their beers before, none of which really impressed me. Shmaltz is known for two lines of beer: The HE'BREW beers and the Coney Island beers.

(FACT: Shmaltz is a contract brewery. A contract brewery means that someone designs the beers, markets/packages them, etc. but does not do the actual brewing. The owner of the company hired a tiny brewery in California to actually make the beers. The Coney Island line will soon be brewed in Coney Island starting this weekend at their very own brewery, meaning it won't be a complete contract brewery anymore. ADDITIONAL FACT: Sam Adams started the same way.)

Anywho, prior to this tasting, I had had Genesis (a fine tasting ale of the HE'BREW line), the Coney Island Lager (again, a decent lager, but nothing better than Brooklyn Brewery's lager, so when choosing I usually went with Brooklyn's), and the Albino Python (which is actually good - the world's only White Lager and has a bit more of a kick than more White/Wit beers for sure).

Today I tasted 5 beers and was really impressed with them. Let's talk about them, shall we?

1. Albino Python - This is in the Coney Island line of beers. It is named after Serpentian, the snake charmer and contortionist at the Coney Island Sideshow. It's a White Lager that heavily features fennel, orange peel, and ginger. It has a higher carbonation rate too. It has a good bite while being incredible refreshing at the same time. Of the beers of theirs that I had had before this tasting, it was the only one I really enjoyed. Awesomely enough, it was the least interesting of the other beers I tasted tonight.

2. Rejewvenator - This is in an awesome series of beers featuring the Sacred Species. In the old testament, there were many foods that had to grow in order for it to be seen as the Land of Israel. Deut. 8:8 describes the Land of Israel as a "land of wheat and barley, of (grape) vines, figs, and pomegranates, and land of olives for oil and date for honey." This series of beers features different items off this list. This Rejewvenator features Concort Grapes. It's a half Dopplebock and half Belgian Syle Dubbel. It had a very sweet yet full-bodied taste. It's 8% abv and really drinkable.

3. Human Blockhead - This beer was incredible. Firstly, the Human Blockhead is the dude who hosts the Coney Island Freakshow. In olden days, he would hammer nails into his head. While the current host still does this, he also power drills into his head as well. Ok! Beer time, again. This beer is as close to a barley wine as you can get while still just being a lager. It has a great seasoning to it, a 10% alcohol content, and a very thick mouth-feel. The owner said he enjoys taking the 22 oz. bottle, pouring it into 4 small glasses, drinking 2 immediately and putting the other 2 into the fridge. After a few hours, he sets the two glasses on the counter until they are room temperature and then drinks them. He says it's almost an after-dinner cordial taste at that time. I am not a barley wine fan, but I really enjoyed this beer.

4. 8 Jewbelation - This beer barely exists now, since it was made in their 8th year, and they are now on their 13th year. In each year they up the numbers by one to match their age. We got a taste of their Jewbelation from 5 years ago. This meant that it had 8 types of hops, 8 types of malts, and was 8% abv. I haven't had their 13 Jewbelation (happy Bar Mitzvah!) but it would have 13 of those 3 things. yikes. I think this beer was good, but I liked the gimmick more than the beer.

5. Bittersweet Lenny's R.IPA - This is a Rye IPA named after Lenny Bruce and has an "obscene amount of malts and hops" according to its tagline. It was very drinkable - which is bad since it's 10% abv. It's listed as a "Radical Beer", which the owner said meant it did not brew to any specific style but more to his taste. I really enjoyed this beer. BUT it got better! We then got to try it aged in Rye barrels and man, it was delicious. I really enjoyed being able to try them back-to-back to see how they changed. And which the cost of the 22oz bottle of the R.IPA nearly doubles to that of the Barrel Aged R. IPA, I understand why. A small brewery takes on a lot of costs - they literally drive down south to get Sazerac barrels and fill the back of a van and then drive them back. They then fill the barrels by hand to age the beer.

Anyway, that was my evening. I walked out with bottles of the last 4 on that list to try again with Ryan when he returns. I am a fact-loving person, and this 2 hour talk was great. I am an easy sell if you appear passionate about what you're doing and you do that thing well. I walked in knowing that the brewery simply existed, and now I am a fan. Check them out if you get the chance.

And Don't Call Me Shirley

2010-05-24T16:46:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone. I’d like to start this megapost by officially declaring New Jersey to be the worst place on earth. You might notice the formatting/font on this post is different from the previous posts (as I’m assuming it’s going to be). Well, that’s because I had to type this post up on a word document and transfer it to blogspot here. Why am I going about writing a post this way? Well, NEWARK’S AIRPORT MAKES YOU PAY FOR WIFI!!! I’m stuck at the airport about three hours early, on my way to Phoenix and I am internetless. I’ll be damned if I fork over the ten dollars to use airport’s wifi. And, AND, they use Boingo, which is the worst thing on earth. I was in the Detroit airport for nine hours one time and decided to actually pay for the wifi (congratulations New Jersey, you and Detroit share a common crappy feature!). Well, in doing so, it installed this Boingo program on my computer to connect to the internet. After I was done, I forgot to uninstall the program. Well, next time I’m in a “Boingo Hotspot,” the program automatically opens, connects to the internet, and CHARGES ME EIGHT BUCKS for internet I DID NOT WANT. Well, suffice it to say, I immediately tried to uninstall the program, but the thing about Boingo is, it hides itself nice and good on your computer. I actually had to call those a-holes to figure out how to permanently uninstall it. Well, long story short (too late), I’m not about to drop ten bucks on Boingo in New Jersey.

With that rant out of the way, let’s talk about beer, shall we? I last left you guys on my in-laws couch on Friday, discussing my Thursday night beer drinking. I’d like to verify that, but I can’t check the site, what with no internet and all. Well Friday night I went to my friends’ wedding. I like weddings. I really do. You see a bunch of people you haven’t seen in forever. Everyone’s automatically your friend there, even if you just met them. Everyone can freely dance around like an idiot, despite the fact they’d never be caught dead doing so at a dance club. You get to do the chicken dance and talk to drunk uncles. They're great. As long as you follow one simple rule. Open bar. You’d think this would be a no-brainer, really. But I’ve been to weddings with no open bar. They are as bad as they sound. No one is your friend. No one dances. There are no drunk uncles. Anyway, my friend of course had an open bar (an hour of which was in a legitimate castle!), and I had myself five Sam Adams Lagers and a Yuengling.

Saturday I went to one of my favorite places in Pennsylvania, Bethlehem Brew Works. I love that place. We (Liz, myself, Liz’s friend and her husband) originally tried to go this place called the Bookstore, one of those new speakeasy places that has like a hidden door and no electricity and makes fancy cocktails and stuff. In NYC they are getting, as they say, “played out,” but I thought this one looked kind of cool because I think part of the appeal is that they are unexpected. You expect to see them in NYC. In Bethlehem, PA, not so much, so that’s kind of neat. Anyway, it was booked solid and we couldn’t get a seat. Outside I listened to about eight people that didn’t get in make the same “I guess we didn’t have the right password” joke and then promptly stabbed them all to death. With a trail of bodies in our wake, we bolted on over to the Brew Works where I had a…here’s where the internet would be great right now. I had two beers. One was called Machine sHop and the other was a Belgian ale whose name is eluding me right now. Damn you New Jersey! Anyway, they were both pretty good. I thought the unnamed Belgian ale was a little thin but it was super spicy which made up for it. The Machine sHop was described, if I am remembering it correctly, as a Belgian with an American hops twist. Well, it tasted like a super hoppy pale, which was nice. I didn’t exactly get where the Belgian part came in, but I liked it nonetheless.

Anyway, I am off for Arizona now. While there I will attempt to take the Southern Sudan route and solve the state’s problems with beer drinking. If there is a place that could use (and, let’s be real, actually attempt to create instead of destroy) some peace and prosperity, it’s Arizona. I’ll sit down the with governor for a beer or two. She should be game, her last is Brewer after all. And with the greatest joke I’ve ever made and will ever make occupying the previous sentence, I’m out!

Total Beers: 399 (400th beer will be, appropriately enough, drank with my dad who hates this whole endeavor!)

Where I Should Be: 391.780

UPDATE: My flight got delayed by two hours. I caved. But in the spirit of not-caving, I'm posting this post as originally written in my word doc.

100th Post!

2010-05-21T15:16:00.002-04:00

On such an inconsequential subject! I have to do this quick because I am on the way out the door to a wedding, but last night I had a Weyerbacher Hops Infusion at dinner and then a Sam Adams Blackberry Wit on my in-laws' couch. I wasn't going to have that second beer, but my in-laws' are masters of peer pressure. That's actually why I ended up marrying Liz. Maybe I'll have a 101st post spectacular. No I won't. I'm busy all day tomorrow as well. Well, I'll give you a good 102nd post on Sunday. That I can promise (note I said I can promise, I didn't actually promise it. Semantics!).

Total Beers: 391

Where I Should Be: 383.561