Friday, January 29, 2010

Just A Couple of Rubes

Yesterday was Liz's 400th birthday so we had ourselves a fancy Manhattan "stay-cation," or "broke-oliday,"* if you will. While it was a perfectly pleasant evening, complete with taking in a show staring a certain High School Musical cast member pictured below, I would like to focus one thing (which is in fact two, as you'll see later!).


Well, later is now. That one thing is the fact that I only drank one beer last night. This is two things because I want to talk about the fact that 1) I am not halting my consumption of other types of alcohol during this 1000 beer year, and 2) that one beer was ridiculous.

As to 1), many have asked me if I plan to curtail drinking other alcoholic beverages besides beer during this year. The answer to that is a definitive "no." While naturally my consumption of liquor and wine will go down, as I'm not liable to have three beers on a Tuesday and then toss back a whiskey on the rocks after that, I am in no way going to refuse something else on the rare occasion where I'd rather have something else, just for the sake of having a beer. Case in point, last night's dinner. I wanted a bottle of wine with dinner (to split, I mean I'm not made of money), so I ordered a bottle of wine. I'll consume the beers in time. No need to force things.

As to 2), after the show, Liz and I went to one of those super touristy/awful "Irish" pubs off of Times Square to grab a beer. We ordered a beer each (I got a Harp, for those keeping track). When the beers came out, something seemed odd that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Luckily, Liz figured out the problem. Let's see if you readers can figure it out:

You figure it out? No? Well here's a hint. The person that is holding that glass is Liz. Figure it out yet? No? Ok, hint number two: Liz does not have monstrously gigantic hands. Now? No? Well fine, I'll just tell you. The glasses the beer came in were super-tiny!!!! I mean, it looked like they took a regular pint glass and shrunk it down by about 2/3. The glasses maybe held 12 oz, and that's a big maybe. I wish I would have specifically ordered a pint of Harp instead of just saying, "I'll have a Harp," because then I would have had cause to complain. When the waitress came by to ask if we wanted another beer, I wanted to say, "No, but I'll have the other half of my first one now," but Liz hates it when I make jokes to servers. But don't worry, they still charged me seven bucks a beer. On the whole, I thought the whole thing was hilarious/infuriating. But on the plus side, tonight I am off to the Brooklyn Brewery, which should be the exact opposite of that place.

Total Beers: 84 Where I should be: 76.712

*See this joke is doubly funny because 1)We wanted to go somewhere out of town but were too broke. So instead we 2) Spent a whole ton of money in Manhattan on dinner/drinks/show/hotel and now are in fact broke. Topical humor!
**Get it?? Get it??!!

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