As anticipated, I did not drink any beer last night. Even more disturbing, I still don't have any beer in the apartment nor am I making a trek to Bierkraft to rectify that situation. I have a lot of job application stuff that is due tomorrow morning that I figured I should work on. Also, I want to go to Bierkraft with a plan, a plan that I will formulate tomorrow during work (you know, in addition to actually working). But this Suns/beer thing is legitimately happening. Here's some, not rules per se, but consideration for each player's beer.
1. The beer should be from the player's home country. This seems obvious but also raises problems, See Nash, Steve.
2. For our domestic players, states should be considered. Home state, state where the player played college ball, state where the player played the bulk of their pro-career. All of it.
3. Style of play matters. This is kind of weird but I'm convinced that I'll somehow be able to translate "likes to play off the elbows" or "point-forward" into beer related terms. I haven't figured out how I'll be able to do that, but I'm positive I'll figure it out.
4. Personality matters. Both on court and off court. This one should play a pretty big role.
5. I'm limiting myself to only using the "he has mad hops" for picking a hoppy beer once. Guess which player? (Hint, sadly it's not Amar'e).
6. Career arc. Injury plagued? New to the league? Heady veteran?
7. Miscellaneous. Things like "Went to Duke but is still a cool guy," "Dope fro." Could fit into the personality portion I guess, but I already typed those things so its staying a separate category.
And in the grand tradition of legal balancing tests, no single factor is dispositive for what beer I choose and some categories may carry more weight in some cases than others. Also, I'm not going to break my write-ups down into those 7 categories, I just wanted to put that up there so you know my thought process going into this. Also, you have to be currently under contract with Suns to get a profile. Sorry Dwayne Collins! If you actually sign with the team I'll write you up! Also, I think I'm going to go in order of "Will certainly be on the team after the February trading deadline" to "Taylor Griffin." It's very possible that after I do a write up for a few of these players, they will no longer be on the team. So there's that! Also, if I still have the energy, I have three surprise Suns related persons that I will beerifying. I am excited. There will be basketball talk. There will be beer talk. It's everything I could ever want in life.